


Stunned

by GardenCosmos



Series: This is stupid [1]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Animal Abuse, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff, M/M, Revenant Being Revenant (Apex Legends), Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, things get frisky but nothing too explicit cause the robots dont have junk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GardenCosmos/pseuds/GardenCosmos
Summary: He usually interacted with people to either murder or rile them up. He took great enjoyment out of getting under people’s skins, both literally and figuratively. Things got frustrating when the person didn’t have skin to get under.It wasn’t that Pathfinder wasn’t put off by him. He had expressed that he found Revenant 'scary'. It was that it didn’t stop him from trying to befriend Revenant anyway.
Relationships: Pathfinder/Revenant (Apex Legends)
Series: This is stupid [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894645
Comments: 198
Kudos: 364





	1. Lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update 10/17/2020: aight, im gonna go risky here. im not a writer, this series is the first fiction i ever wrote. im an illustrator. i will go back periodically and add drawings to this stuff because the urge to do so is MASSIVE. im afraid someone might recognize me by my art, but im in too deep friends AAAAAA

„You‘re so beautiful, friend.“

Yet another odd comment. But then again this whole situation was odd. Actually, it was really weird. It was straight up pathetic, what the fuck was he thinking?!

If you’d asked Revenant, he would have argued that it was boredom on his side. He had been alive for around 300 years, had killed, had been killed and yet could not die for good. It was really hard to get any kind of rush or satisfaction when there was no risk involved. No consequences. No highs without lows. Nothing mattered. He didn't matter.

Yet he still refused to let go of equally useless stuff, like his pride. They made him a monster, might as well go the whole mile then. Become a nightmare, the stuff of horror stories you tell your children so they behave. It took a while to wear him down to see what else was left of the person he once was.

He usually interacted with people to either murder or rile them up. He took great enjoyment out of getting under people’s skins, both literally and figuratively. It was one of the few things that made him feel anything else but anger. Things got frustrating when the person didn’t have skin to get under.

It wasn’t that Pathfinder wasn’t put off by him. He had expressed that he found Revenant ‘scary’. It was that it didn’t stop him from trying to befriend Revenant anyway.

He kept on calling him ‘friend’, asking him about his lack of a ‘happy face’ and even suggesting to be ‘brothers’. He tried to connect to him, a monster, on a personal level. Revenant would have never admitted it, but the sheer audacity and stupidity threw him off. He was out of his element. He had grabbed him by the neck, pushed him against walls and kicked him down several times. None of those threats however scared him off. Probably because he never followed up on any them.

Pathfinder was a fantastic distraction in battle. His heavy steps, loud hydraulics and zip lines pulled any enemy attention towards him. He was a useful bullet magnet while Revenant used the turmoil to sneak up on people and raise his kill count. He also had to begrudgingly admit that Pathfinder could handle a gun pretty well and was rather skilled in these blood games. Having him on his team was advantageous, if he just wouldn’t be so annoying to deal with. Revenant had no clue how to handle this. So he didn’t do anything and just tried to ignore him.

Pathfinder took his passiveness as an invitation to keep on trying. But they were put on the same squad only so often. So he approached him on the drop ship from time to time and then even outside the games. Who knows how he managed to find him each time. But then again, it was a scout’s job to scout.

“Hello, friend!”

“Go away.”

Pathfinder decided against leaving. He watched Revenant pull the wings and legs off a beetle he had picked up from the ground.  
  


“You’re hurting it”, Pathfinder noted.

“No shit.” Detaching the last leg he admired his handiwork. Then he squashed the bug between his fingers, ending its suffering.

Revenant’s act was bizarre. None of Pathfinder’s friends displayed behavior like that. Whenever he located him, he would be doing strange things like staring at something for a long time, casually damaging property or hurting someone. Or something. One time he caught him chipping at the paint of his chassis. Judging by the amount of red around him he had been doing that for hours. None of those things seemed fun at all. His character was baffling to Pathfinder. What drives someone to be like that?

He tried to get a grasp of his thought process through conversation, but Revenant had blocked any attempts so far. He understood that he had to try a different method if he wanted to befriend the simulacrum. And he really wanted to do that! Revenant didn’t seem to have any other friends. Maybe that was the reason he was so unhappy all the time. Pathfinder was determined to change that. But how do you make someone happy who refuses to be?

Revenant was sitting in the dirt, observing the bug’s goo running down his digits. Pulling a leaf off a nearby bush Pathfinder used it to quickly wipe the other robot’s fingers off.

“This is bad. You shouldn’t be doing these things.” Dropping the leaf he let it float gently to the ground.

Revenant was intrigued. Did the happy-go-lucky MRVN just confront him? That was certainly new.

He slowly rose from the ground. Pathfinder was tall, but at a height of almost 7 feet Revenant still towered him easily. He got uncomfortably close, chest touching chest. But Pathfinder stood his ground, keeping eye contact. Revenant had no idea if it was bravery, stupidity or if that robot simply had no concept of personal space.

Revenant growled. “You’ve been pestering me for weeks now. The only reason I haven’t dismantled you yet is because you’re useful bait in the ring. But my patience is running thin.” Extending his talons he placed them at Pathfinder’s neck, pushing into the fabric covering it. “What are you trying to achieve here? Is it worth dying for?”

If Pathfinder was scared he didn’t show it. In fact his display turned red, projecting an angry face. Oooh… did Revenant finally manage to rile him up? This might become very amusing after all.

The scout clenched his fists. “I am trying to help you! I want you to stop being sad but you keep pushing me away because you like hurting others. I am frustrated because in the end you are mostly hurting yourself!”  
  


A second passed. Then two. Then a few more.

Revenant exploded into laughter. It wasn’t just chuckling, but full on laughter out of his belly. Oh! Oh, this was hilarious! The MRVN was upset because he failed at making him happy? How delicious! Straight up priceless!

He had never seen Revenant laugh like that before. Pathfinder was astonished, unable to comprehend why this out of all things made him laugh. But he was glad it did! He liked his laugh. A rare sound he would have liked to hear more of. The developments of this evening were unexpected, but he chose to roll with it. “You have a nice laugh, friend.”

Revenant had calmed down a bit, stray snickers escaping him. “Keep entertaining me like that and you might hear more of it.”  
  
\-------------

That was a mistake. Pathfinder was clingy before, but with this open invitation he was impossible to get rid of now. He stayed way closer to Revenant in the games than necessary, always appearing to be nearby, even if they weren’t on the same squad. Revenant also noticed an increase in compliments. And there were times where the MRVN would just… stare at him. Especially on the drop ship. It used to be a place for Pathfinder to converse with the other legends, but now there were periods of him just observing the simulacrum.

“APPROACHING DROPZONE”, the speakers blared.

Revenant looked up at the screens, finding his profile next to some random nobodies. He didn’t care if he was teamed up with the champion or a sack of potatoes as long as they didn’t hold him back.

He shuffled to the already lowering platforms. One rando, a frightened looking boy, was avoiding any eye contact. The other one, also a young man, extended his hand. “I’ve seen you perform on broadcasts. An honor to fight with you.”

The simulacrum peered at the hand with as much disdain as his unmoving mask could muster. “Don’t get in my way.”

The man visibly deflated, confidence and excitement vaporizing.

The platforms had descended under the drop ship now, the winds whipping around them. As jump master it was up to Revenant to pick a drop zone. He scanned King’s Canyon below him. In the mood for some early carnage, he picked a reasonably hot drop. “I’m going market.”

He jumped, heading straight down. His squad mates did not dare to argue, following him right away. So did a few other squads. Good. More skinbags meant more blood to spill.

He reached ground early enough but luck wasn’t on his side. People wasted no time to start the shooting. He rushed to the nearest pile of loot, finding nothing but a level 2 shotgun bolt, close range optics and a lonely shield battery. A shriek came through the coms. “I’m getting shot!”

Revenant checked the stats. The other boy was already down.

He had no time for this. He needed a gun.

Searching for a weapon he passed around a corner and nearly crashed into someone. It wasn’t a team mate, but some no-name enemy. She seemed shocked to meet the ‘Synthetic Nightmare’ so early on, but random chance had granted her an advantage. She had an Eva-8 ready and used it to blast his left shoulder.

It stunned him for a split second, a burning pain blooming. He used his right hand to form a blade, swiftly stabbing into her throat. She gurgled blood, her eyes wide with shock. Her body tensed as she released another shot into Revenant’s chest. Then the light in her eyes dimmed, her form going limp. He let the body drop to the ground.

Another howl through his coms. His second teammate was dead. Ugh.

The robot struggled to grab the shotgun off the corpse in front of him, before a sudden kick to the back of his skull sent him falling forwards. A weighty boot stomped on his head, keeping him down. Dazed, he barely registered the knife stabbing his waist or the light, husky voice mocking him. “Got you this time.”

Ah, the void walker.

He released a heavy sigh. The world turned black.

\-------------

When he awoke he was greeted by terrible agony. What the hell? This was not how it’s supposed to work. As his eyesight booted back up, he recognized the broken down walls of the Market.

Fucking hell, he didn’t die. He was still in King’s Canyon in his broken body.

Scanning the ground in front of him he found no trace of the gun. The void girl probably took it with her. Shit!

He had to use his claws. The sound of whirring and arcing electricity chirping told him his left arm wasn’t going to be reaping with it. The shotgun had ruined his shoulder.

He was lying on his side, so his right arm was underneath him. Attempting to pull it out, he wailed. The pain was unbearable. Any movement made him hyper aware of every torn cable and perforated component inside him. Parts not meant to connect were grinding against each other. Electric shocks translated into torturous cramps. Fuck!

An automatic door rose with a whoosh, followed by heavy steps echoeing through the building. Maybe luck had some left over mercy for him. Someone might have heard him cry out and came to finish the job. “Hey! Agh… Over here…!”

The steps were coming closer. He couldn’t move to see who was approaching, but there was only one participant in these games with metal steps this noisy.

Pathfinder knelt in front of him. “Looks like you lost today, friend.”  
  


Revenant groaned. “Had shit luck with loot. Just finish me off.”

The MRVN took a moment to look at the damages on Revenant’s body. “I would like to make an offer.”

Oh, fate really tortured the simulacrum that day. The situation was bad enough already, but the only one coming to his help had to be the stupid fucking MRVN with his stupid fucking antics. Revenant had no patience for this. “Don’t play games with me! What the fuck do you want?!”

He knew that Pathfinder was only capable of one tone of voice, but it still grated on him with how merry he sounded. It felt like he was mocking him. “In exchange for me helping you upload into a new body I would like you to go to the Paradise Lounge with me.”

What? What the fuck?

“What the hell am I supposed to do at a bar with you?”

Pathfinder tilted his head. “Are you declining?”

“And if I do? You wanna let a ‘friend’ suffer like this?” Revenant sneered.

The scout considered this. “I think you will enjoy the bar a lot. Elliott has some unique things there you can’t find anywhere else.”

“What things?”

“It’s a surprise.”

Revenant pondered this. What would that skinsuit be able to offer someone like him?

His body convulsed as another gruesome shock drove through his body. He cried out, unable to repress it. Shit, shit, okay, he could just agree and refuse to go later. What could the MRVN do? Force him? Laughable. Or maybe he could have a look at this ‘surprise’. If it turned out to be jack shit he could make his own fun by turning the bar into a massacre. Yeah, why not. It wasn’t like he had better things to do.

“Alright, okay. Shoot me and I’ll go with you.”

He was gone before he registered the shot.


	2. It's fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aight, I have no clue if Revenant, or simulacra in general, can actually smell or if he's just talking weird shit in the games but let's just pretend they can.

"Oh, hey Path! Good to see you an- and-"  
  


All color drained from Mirage’s face once he realized who else decided to visit his bar. "Revenant! Heeeeeeyyy!“ He let out an anxious chuckle to release a bit of the tension, but it didn’t help much. "Uhh, Didn’t expect you to have as a guest here, uh, ever.“ The forced grin following that statement helped as little as the chuckle before.

Revenant let out a dismissive grunt and sat down on the stool next to Pathfinder. He had no explanation to offer so he simply hoped that Mirage would be intimidated enough by his presence to not ask too many questions.

"I invited Revenant to come here“, Pathfinder chimed in.

"Of course you did“, Mirage muttered under his breath. "So, uh, Rev! I can call you Rev right? What can I get you? You wanna have a look at the menu or?“

Oh, he wanted to play the funny man, huh? Revenant’s claws dug into the counter. "Listen, meat bag! Just because I stepped into your shitpit excuse of a bar, does not mean you can get comedic with me. You better watch yourself, unless you want your insides on the outside.“ Revenant gouged his talons deeper into the counter, splintering the wood, to make sure he got the message.

Mirage immediately took a step back and raised his hands in defense. "No, no need for that, man! I did not mean to make fun of you! It a genoon- genoomin-, genuine offer! It’s not- Oh, damn, I forgot to calri-clafi- I mean, I forgot to say that we have special drinks for simulacrums. I mean, they aren’t drinks really, obviously, because you can’t- What I’m trying to say is that we have simulacrum guests sometimes and I thought of a way to include them more in the fun. Since they can’t drink stuff we are offering hot drinks focusing on smell. It’s not the same as tasting drinks and getting drunk, but it’s at least something right? And most of them appreciate it. Hey, how about this; first one’s on the house! Just for you, a special special offer! Double the special!“

Listening to this moron ramble for his life was pretty damn entertaining actually. In truth Mirage was one of his favourite meat shields to mess with in the ring, especially with how easily his cocky facade fell apart, and more so when it just underlined the frightened coward hiding beneath.  
  
Once Mirage was coherent enough to explain himself he also found a slight interest in that offer of his. "Alright, whatever. This better be worth my time.“

"Right! Okay! I’ll get you our best seller! One Purple Waltz coming right up!“

He rushed to the other side of the bar to grab his ingredients from underneath the counter, stopping at the coffee machine to get some hot water, scalding himself on in the process. He started to make his way back, his arms ladened with what he needed; dried sprigs of plants, bags of powders in clear zip-locked bags, all of them a delicate balancing act in his arms. He tripped over his own feet, almost dropping the items halfway back.

Sprinkling the ingredients in one by one, he tried to make a show out of it, in a true bartender fashion. His nerves betrayed him however, smothering any grace he would usually have displayed. A bit of blue powder ended up spread across the counter.  
  


Mirage took a step back. “Uh, voilà!” He threw a hopeful grin towards the simulacrum.

The air was heavy with discomfort and Revenant basked in it, making Mirage grow more fidgety by the second. He stared at the offending glass for way longer than necessary. Red and blue liquid was swirling inside the glass, the ingredients barely recognizable from the leftovers around. It looked toxic. And it probably was.

He threw a skeptical glance at the bartender before slowly reaching for the drink. He was in no hurry, enjoying drinking in the tension. The sound of glass sliding across wood would have made it better, but it was just a little too loud in the room.

He barely held his face into the steam when the scent hit him like a bucket of water dumped onto oneself. It smelled of flowery meadows on a warm rainy day. Steamy earth carrying memories of simpler days. It was the calming aroma of sitting in grass, feeling its individual blades between your fingers. Time was slowed and didn’t matter. It was the intoxicating perfume of peace. That very peace you feel when you dwell on your senses. Focusing on the bloom of colors around you. Hearing the sounds of the wind blowing. Smelling the very earth around you with every breath. But thinking of nothing. Just existing. Feeling.

If he had been human, he would have been convinced that he was drugged.

Mirage’s voice was shaky. “Well?”

“It’s… intense.”

That was good enough for Mirage. He released a sigh. “Oh, yeah! We don’t do half assed here! And the best thing is that the ingredients take a different length to dissolve so it will change its scent with time!”

“…huh.”

A few moments of silence. Then Mirage seized his opportunity to flee. “Haha! Yeah, um. So, just call if you need me. I have other guests to tend to. I’m a busy man!”

He bolted, looking for anything, or anyone, to occupy himself with. Luckily there were still enough guests present, despite the murderous robot who definitely scared a few people away upon his entrance before.

Revenant sat there for a while.

This was strange. Despite the reality of his existence, the situation he found himself in was so… normal. Just hanging at a bar, doing skin bag stuff. It was not relaxing or anything like that, of course. Never. But despite these circumstances things felt oddly… okay. It was alright. Not good, but bearable. More bearable than usual at least.

Meanwhile Pathfinder had been unusually quiet, albeit kind of bouncy, not being able to remain still on his stool. Revenant had forgotten he was even there. He gave him a look. “What are you so giddy about?”

“Oh, I’m just happy that you decided to join me today!”

“Why do you go here anyway? It’s not like you can drink or smell anything.”

“That’s true, but I simply enjoy spending time with my friends!”

“That’s stupid.”

That’s when a trace of fruity sweetness reached him. Fresh berries barely plucked from a bush and squashed into a paste, radiating their fragrance.

“Huh, that skin suit didn’t lie. It does change.”

Pathfinder leaned in as if trying to get a whiff with olfactory sensors he didn’t have. “What does it smell like?”  
  


What a stupid question. How would you even begin to describe odor to someone who has never experienced smell? Revenant hummed, though his voice modulator made it sound more like a growl. “It smells like… plants. I guess. Mostly sweet like flowers and that kinda shit. But not like sickly sweet. More balanced than that.”

“That sounds nice! Do you like it?”

“It’s fine.”

Pathfinder clapped his hands together, looking very accomplished that he had found something that Revenant didn’t hate. “That’s great! You should come here more often!”

Revenant scoffed. “And sit here among drunk meat bags? Nah, fuck that.”

Pathfinder seemed to consider that complaint, appearing deep in thought. Revenant was glad he shut up.

The rest of the night was rather uneventful. Pathfinder however insisted on accompanying Revenant to his apartment when he decided to leave. He followed him like a lost puppy, always dancing around him. Revenant did what he usually did: trying to ignore him. He later realized that he should have kicked his ass instead, because the MRVN now knew where he lived. He would definitely try to bother him there. But considering how he always managed to find him, in even the most secluded places, he would have probably found that out sooner or later anyway.


	3. Unpredictable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, a lot of shit goes down in this one. this is also the last chapter i had prepared. updates will be slow from now on.
> 
> Extra emphasis on the "Revenant being Revenant" warning for this one, too.

It was just two days later when Revenant heard a knock at his door. Ugh.

He stomped to the entrance, yanking the door open and almost tearing the rusted thing off of its frame. “The fuck you want?”

On the other side was Pathfinder, of course, doing a tiny wave with one hand and bouncing slightly. In his other hand he was holding a plain grey bag. “Hello, Revenant! I have come here to bring you a gift!”

Revenant slammed the door closed, rattling the frame as a cloud of dust exploded off of it. He shuffled back to his sundered and torn up couch. He barely dropped on to the shredded and hollow cushions when more knocking followed.

“Fuck off!”

Pathfinder’s muffled voice sounded through the wall. “I would usually leave your gift at your door, but I think showing you how to make the drink is easier than writing down the recipe.”

Drink? Was he talking about one of those scent things?

He stalked back to the door, creaking it back open the sound of grating hinges. “Where did you get that?”

The scout presented the bag to him. “Elliott was kind enough to both teach me how to brew it, as well as give me the ingredients! I thought you might enjoy it more at your place!”

Against his better judgment, the simulacrum gestured his head sideways with a grunt, leaving his door slightly open and trudging back into his apartment without another word.

“Oh! Thank you!” Pathfinder followed him inside. The door screeched for longer than necessary as he took his sweet time to gently push it back closed. After all he didn't want to be rude and slam it. Revenant stared at the MRVN as he made his way towards the couch, each step a little bounce. God, he was so fucking annoying.

“Kitchen’s to the right.” Revenant nodded in the direction of what possibly used to be a kitchen. What he had instead was a worktop counter covered in a thick layer of dust and grime with large holes perforating its surface. The only evidence of this area once being a kitchen was a rusted through sink, a stove and oven that appeared to have exploded at one point, as well as drawers and cupboards with the doors missing and shelves laying lopsided and broken.

He hadn’t been in there for quite a while. He had no use for it after all. At least until now. Pathfinder set the bag down at the center of a table with stacked cinderblocks for legs and began removing its contents. “Could you set up a glass of hot water, friend?”

Revenant groaned. He reminded himself that he only needed to endure this once. Being a machine at least had the perk of having perfect memory.

Grabbing a chipped and grime covered glass, he turned on the tap and held it under it. There was a brief pause followed by some gurgling from the pipes behind the wall before dirty brown and red water sputtered from the tap. He pulled the mug back as it splashed into the sink, then into the rusted hole where the plughole used to be and into the cupboard below.  
  
Pathfinder had stopped removing items from the bag, glancing between the now growing pool of discolored water and Revenant who was just staring at the faucet. “Friend, I think we might need to-“  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
The liquid continued to gather beneath Revenants feet, gradually running clear. He filled the cup with water and dumped it out onto the floor, adding to the puddle that was now near reaching the table. He repeated this motion a few times, cleaning the glass. With the water from the tap now visibly steaming, he reached out to finally get that cup of hot water.  
  
It wasn't even half full when a large crack shot across the glass from the temperature shock, its boiling hot contents spilling over the simulacrum's hand. He yelled in both pain and anger as he whipped himself round, launching the glass across the room. It narrowly soared over Pathfinder's head, who ducked out of danger just in time, and crashed into the wall to explode in a heap of shards.  
  
The MRVN peeked from under the table, observing Revenant retrieve another crusty cup. This time it generously decided not to explode in his grip. He quickly filled it up and placed it on the table with a furious swing. "Here."  
  
"Thank you!" Jumping up, Pathfinder went to mixing right away. He explained each of the ingredients, in what order they were to be thrown in and how much of each one was needed. Revenant didn’t care where the fucking flowers were harvested or whatever, he just wanted the recipe. But telling the other robot to make it short might have encouraged him to engage in some sort of conversation so he decided to just listen quietly.

His patience was rewarded with a steaming glass of red and blue liquid mixed with bits of plants. Just like at the bar. He took a whiff and yes, it smelled the same way too. It was already pulling him into a trance. Good.

He picked it up and strolled out the kitchen, through the living room and into his bedroom. There he sat down on his bed, letting the fumes drown him in colorful aromas, the feeling of relaxed elation making him ignore the squalor of his dwellings.

Pathfinder had followed him at a slight distance. He was standing in the doorway to his bedroom, tipping his fingers together in an unsure manner. He threw a few glances around the room before resting his gaze on Revenant. “Can I sit with you?”

He could have kicked him out. He could have just told him to get lost. But he was honestly indifferent to him now. The drink was nice and had improved his mood. “Whatever, just shut up.”

The scout sneaked towards the bed and carefully seated himself on it at a respectful distance. To Revenant’s pleasant surprise he didn’t attempt to chat with him. He just sat there.

They were sitting together quietly for almost an hour. Revenant didn’t understand why Pathfinder bothered to stay for so long and do nothing, but he also didn’t really care at this point. As long as he didn’t have to listen to his stupid rambling he would tolerate his presence. He enjoyed his drink in peace.

He finally set the mug aside on the small table next to the bed.

Pathfinder perked up. "Oh, are you done with it?“

"Yeah, it’s cold.“

They fell quiet again. The scout started to bug Revenant now since he had nothing to distract himself with. He broke the silence after an increasingly irritating minute. "You plan to stay the entire night or what?“

Pathfinder straightened up and clasped his hands together. "Yes, I would love to stay, friend!“ Of course he would have taken that literally.

"That was a rhetorical question, dumbass. Don’t you have anything better to do?“

"Well, not necessarily. I like spending time with you. It’s exciting!“

"What are you talking about? You’ve been doing literally nothing this whole time.“

Pathfinder adjusted himself to face Revenant more directly. "Just being close to you is exciting. It makes me feel all tingly!“

The smiley face on his chest disappeared to make room for pink hearts instead. Revenant was stunned. Pathfinder had taken him off guard so many times now. Yet he never learned how to respond to his naive stupidity. This wasn’t even totally unexpected. He was always very open about his guileless affection towards everyone. What was different about this? It wasn't like he hadn’t heard similar things from him before.

Pathfinder seemed hesitant about Revenant’s lack of a response. But as usual, he took it as an invitation to test his luck. "Can I come closer?“

He scooted over to him. Slowly, to give him enough time to object. He didn’t, but he didn’t respond positively either. He was just frozen in place. For a computer he was taking a ridiculous amount of time to process this.

"I like you, Revenant. I like all my friends and love spending time with them. Doing things with you is different though. You behave unlike most people. You are hard to understand and that makes you very interesting to me. I like learning about you.“

He was sitting right beside him now, placing his hand next to his.

"I also like looking at you. You look so unique. And I like how you move. Your body is strange but also pleasing to look at.“ He paused, taking a few moments to take in Revenant‘s form before looking back at his face. "Can I touch you?“

Each sentence hit him like a truck, sending his mind spinning. But it was that last question that really knocked him upside down. What? What was happening? How did he get into this?

He was apparently taking too long to respond again. Pathfinder decided to venture forward, slowly moving his left hand over his right. He gave it a gentle squeeze. "I like your hands. They are dangerous and scary, but also gracile.“

Revenant had forgotten what it felt like to be touched by a hand not intending to end his life. No one had touched him like this in centuries. Any contact he had as a simulacrum was in the form of violence. People throwing punches at him, breaking him, dismantling him, tearing him apart just for him to be shoved into another worthless metal shell. People kicking and clawing at him, screaming as he wrenched their innards from their abject husks, watching the life drain from their eyes. All while they begged and prayed to their gods that forsook them the moment they crossed his path.

Pathfinder lifted his right hand and let his fingertips ghost over his abdomen. "I like how your waist looks. It makes your shape very elegant.“  
  


Any leftover residue of coherent thinking was evaporated at that point. Revenant was completely out of his element. His human mind may had been disturbed beyond recognition by broken code, but that wasn’t enough from letting him grow absolutely touch-starved throughout the decades. He would have never admitted it but he yearned for this. He let his gaze wander over Pathfinder’s body. He had a look at all those joints, parts and details he never cared to pay any attention to. While Pathfinder was more streamlined, balanced and 'athletic' in his form than his regular MRVN counterparts, his build was still blocky and awkward by nature.

Revenant looked at the scout’s rope coils jutting out behind his shoulders. The rope led to his lower left arm, where the clunky mechanism of his grappling hook was installed. His right upper arm had a massive cylinder attached, which housed his zip line. His chest was made out of that ridiculous keyboard and screen which still displayed a bunch of stupid hearts to convey his status. His upper body had a bunch of bars for easier handling. He was not built for aesthetics, but for function. He was just as much a thrown together experiment to fulfill a specific task as he was. He was an effective machine in his own way.

Revenant noted that Pathfinder‘s crotch had two blue blocks, which were probably meant to stop his legs from crossing and keeping them from moving outside of a healthy range for his joints. The symmetry of the blocks and the split in the middle reminded him of a camel toe. Huh.

He grabbed the blocks unceremoniously with his left hand, letting his middle finger slip between them to stroke his pelvis. Pathfinder jumped in surprise and squeezed Revenant’s stomach. "Oh! Does this mean you are okay with more touching?“

"Shut up!“

Revenant pushed him down by his chest. Crawling over him he buried his face in the fabric of his neck. He smelled of nothing in particular. Just vaguely of cloth, oil and dirt. The simulacrum’s hands were wrapping around the small of Pathfinder’s back, while his legs pushed his apart to make room for himself in between them.

Again Revenant was behaving so strangely. He was seemingly absent in one moment, just to explode one second later. Not reacting to anything Pathfinder said or did, just to be all over him right after. He was so unpredictable! Pathfinder had never experienced anything like this before. This was all new and ever so exciting! Every moment with him was an adventure! That made his bond to Revenant grow all the more. He enjoyed being so close to his special friend.

He put his hands on Revenant‘s thighs before letting them roam up his hips towards his waist to knead the leather there. His waist was definitely the most appealing part of his body to Pathfinder! But he really liked the whole of his and felt the need to be closer. He enveloped Revenant in a hug to pull him towards him, wrapping his legs around him and mirroring the gesture of pushing his head into his neck. This felt so wonderful, warm and comforting. He wanted to lie like this with him for the rest of the night. But Revenant had no interest in stopping the momentum.

He pushed himself out of Pathfinder’s grip. His hands reached under his hips and lifted them up, easing access to grind his own against them. His loin cloth was still between them, making the contact less abrasive.

It was Pathfinder’s turn to be out of his element. He finally recognized Revenant’s behavior -his strained grunts, the way he handled him and how he pushed their groins together- as sexual behavior. People like to talk about how fantastic of a physical feeling sex is. And just for a moment he was sad that he could not experience this. He couldn't feel more than a vague feeling of pressure. But he also remembered that it can be an emotional experience as well. It can be an intimate activity between people who share a deep connection and trust each other.

He looked up at Revenant’s face, his burning yellow eyes. His face was frozen in an intimidating gaze, but also gorgeous in its design and details. He had never been so close to him before. Revenant decided to do this with him, so he must have liked and trusted him! He must have been a very special friend to him too! The bliss and happiness this thought brought was nearly overwhelming to Pathfinder. He let his arms slip down and rested his hands over his, which were still grasping at his hips.

„You‘re so beautiful, friend. I love you, Revenant.“

Revenant let out a more strangled grunt, but did not seem to acknowledge this comment otherwise. Pathfinder wasn’t sure if he registered his message, but that was okay! He could tell him again later many times! Right now he was glad to share this moment with him and help him find sexual release. If he was happy, then so was he!

He remembered that sex involved the use of genitals, which they both lacked. But Revenant still seemed to enjoy friction at his crotch, so he decided to focus on that area. He reached between them to pull up his loin cloth, removing that last barrier between them. His left hand wandered to his backside while his right stroked whatever places on his pelvis he could reach at the front. He took Revenant’s gasp as a sign that he was doing very well!

Instinctively Revenant snapped his hips forward. In an instant he was sobered up by the resulting clank of metal hitting on metal.

It was then that the reality of the situation hit him. It wasn’t just that he was being intimate with Pathfinder out of all people. He was a robot attempting to fuck another robot.

As if bitten by a snake he pulled back, letting Pathfinder drop like a used shield cell. He scuttled backwards off the bed and hurried to the other side of the room. He faced the wall, his back turned towards Pathfinder, trying to put as much distance between them as possible.

"Get out.“

Pathfinder hoisted himself up on his elbows. "I am sorry, did I do something wrong?“

"I said get out!“

Pathfinder was visibly confused. Question marks popped up on his chest, replacing the hearts which were there moments before. "I did not mean to upset you, friend. I thought you were having fun.“

"FUN?!“, Revenant roared, turning around to face Pathfinder and take a few threatening steps towards him. "How should I have fun like this?! Are you that fucking stupid?! We are robots! Goddamn fucking machines trying to be human! Don’t you see how pathetic this is?! They took everything from me! I can’t do goddamn shit! All I am supposed to do is murder! I can‘t eat! I can’t drink! I can’t fuck! I can’t even fucking die! They took my body, my life! I am a killing machine! That is my sole purpose! What the fuck are we doing here? This is pathetic! Fucking embarrassing! What the fuck!? What the fucking hell!?“

This painful reminder of what he had been turned into released a chain reaction. He was mostly talking to himself at this point, pacing around the room, clawing at his head. His rambling turned into yelling before evolving into screams of agony. He was angry, desperate and needed to vent. He started punching the walls, wrecking furniture and dismantling the room.  
  


Pathfinder had seen people upset before, sometimes even to the point of not being able to cheer them up. And he was really good at cheering people up! But this was on a whole another level, especially since this escalated so quickly and seemingly out of nowhere. All he wanted was to see him happy. But right now he seemed worse than ever. He had enough grasp of the situation to understand that Revenant’s struggles with being both human and robot in some way caused this. But that was the whole extend of his comprehension. He wanted to help Revenant, but had no idea how. Maybe there was nothing he could do. Maybe he should just let him release his anger.

It was when Revenant was running out of things to destroy and started to tear at his own chest that Pathfinder felt the need to stop him. He jumped off the bed and rushed towards him, grabbing him by the wrists before he could do any serious damage to himself.

Revenant recoiled as if he was surprised that he was still here. "What the hell do you think you’re doing?!“

Had it been anyone else then Revenant would have sliced them up then and there, but Pathfinder was strong enough to keep his wrists in a vice grip. "Please don’t hurt yourself, friend!“

"Get off me!“ Extending his fingers and clawing at the MRVN’s forearms did nothing to scare him off. So he started to pull, push and kick at him instead. A struggle ensued.

He kneed Pathfinder’s side, driving the pointed joint into whatever places looked reasonably sensitive. Pathfinder barely flinched. He didn’t make a sound. He kept holding on. Revenant was furious. He wanted to hear a pained grunt, a gasp, anything!

Using all of his weight he threw himself against the scout. Pathfinder stumbled backwards, hitting his head on the wall behind him. His resulting stupor didn’t last long, but Revenant used it to turn and pull him over his shoulder, making him crash into the ground.

He pulled Revenant down with him, but the shock of the impact made him loosen his clutch a bit. It was enough for the other robot to free his arms. He drew his right arm back, hand pointed into a blade, before driving it through the side of Pathfinder’s chest.  
  


His victim didn’t cry out, but he did release a long whiny beep. It was the closest thing to a wail Revenant could force out of him. But Pathfinder was determined and moved fast.

Revenant didn’t know what to expect, but he certainly didn’t expect a hug. It was tight, meant to hold him in place, but a hug none the less. Pathfinder’s legs were wrapped around his. Limbs constrained, he had no way to move.

He squirmed. With no way of displaying his aggression in a physical way he fell back on his voice. “Let me go! Let me fucking go! You can’t hold me forever! I will break you! I will dismantle you piece by piece! I’ll make sure you’ll stay conscious for as long as possible! I will teach you what real torture is! I’ll scatter your parts like garbage across all of Solace! No one will recognize you! No one will look for you! No one will remember you! No one will care! You’ll be the worthless trash you were meant to be!”

He roared, he yelled, he screamed. Emptying all his rage and pent up anger in the form of the most horrible words he could come up with in that moment. He yelled and yelled. Until he couldn’t anymore. Until there were no words left to scream. He heaved as if he needed air. He was exhausted.

Pathfinder didn’t do anything throughout all of this. He just held him. Letting him abuse him. Enduring the hate.

A sudden fatigue fell over Revenant. His urge to destroy ebbed down. He felt empty. And tired. He just wanted to sleep. Yeah. Being unconscious for a while sounded nice.

The simulacrum let his body go limp. Pathfinder was still embracing him but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was so desperately tired. “I want to rest. Why won’t they let me rest?”

They laid there together. Silently. Who knows for how long.

When Pathfinder was sure that Revenant was not going to move he carefully sat up, pulling him with him. He dragged him into his lap to cradle and rock him gently. Revenant didn’t care. He couldn’t. He let himself be soothed like a child.

Pathfinder’s voice was the most quiet he had ever heard. “I’m sorry.”

His voice box shouldn’t become hoarse like a human’s vocal chords would, and yet it was raspy. “What?”

“I said I’m sorry.”

What was meant to be a sneer came out as a shaky huff of air. “You’re sorry? I stabbed you and you’re sorry?”

The MRVN shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry that you are in so much pain. I did my best to help but I’m not sure if you can be helped.”

“I can’t. It’s obvious but you’re a fucking moron.”

“I’m still glad I tried.”

“That attitude is gonna get you killed one day.”

Pathfinder paused for a moment. “I think you’re right. I need to be more careful.”

There was nothing more to say. Revenant powered down and drifted to sleep.


	4. Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i finished this one a lot quicker than i expected, oops. but i think the next updates will take actually longer from now on.

Sun rays fell through the windows and hit his face. It was the first thing Revenant noticed when he woke up. The second thing was the hunk of blue metal curled around him.

Pathfinder hadn’t moved since last night. He was still holding him, but was slumped over and seemed to be fast asleep. Both his display and his optic were turned off.

Pushing himself up the simulacrum assessed his surroundings only to find torn walls, demolished closets and a sad potted plant murdered. Ah, right. He had a meltdown.

He sat up and found a puddle of dark, undefined liquid next to him. That definitely wasn’t there yesterday. The source was easy to determine. His assault on Pathfinder had left the robot equivalent of a gaping, bleeding wound on his left side. He grabbed his shoulder and shook him. “Hey. Wake up.”

A “ding” chimed, signaling that Pathfinder was in the process of booting back up. It didn’t take long. He straightened himself, looking around to orient himself and remember where he was. “Oh, hello Revenant! Did you sleep well?”

Revenant couldn’t believe the audacity. “You are fucking bleeding on the floor and went to sleep? What the hell is wrong with you?!”

The scout threw a bedazzled stare at him before checking the floor. He looked surprised. “Oh, this is bad indeed. I promised you to be more careful and failed right away. I’m sorry.”  
  


Amazing how he kept on finding new ways to irritate Revenant. “Stop apologizing! Fucking hell, I can’t believe how stupid you are!”

He moved to take a closer look. Pathfinder’s chassis had a split where the fluid leaked from. He couldn’t see much but the hole seemed pretty deep, sparks hissing inside. He probably damaged both pipes and circuitry. He didn’t know how MRVNs worked exactly but he was pretty sure he had broken something reasonably important. Pathfinder’s screen was definitely affected, glitching constantly.

Revenant sighed. “Ugh, I have no clue what’s going on in there. Where do you usually get repairs?”

Pathfinder pondered this for a moment, tipping a finger on where a chin would be. “It depends. Natalie might be free around this time. We can try to call her.”

Wattson, the smart girl. They weren’t on good terms exactly, because he wasn’t on good terms with anyone. But he could deal with her.

He stood up, offering Pathfinder a hand. “Alright, get up.”

“Shouldn’t we call her first to check if she has time?”

“I don’t care whether she got time or not, we are going there now. Gimme your damn hand already.”

Pathfinder accepted his hand to help pull himself up. Once he was upright Revenant let go and turned to move towards the exit of his apartment. He was halfway through when he noticed the lack of clunky steps following him. He looked back to see Pathfinder still standing in the same place, staring into nothing.

“Hey! Get moving, tin can!”, Revenant called out to him.

Pathfinder flinched as if a cat had exploded right in front of him. He was shaking violently for just a few seconds before suddenly relaxing. “I’m coming!” Merry as ever he hopped towards Revenant with bouncy steps.

“The hell was that about?”, Revenant asked once he had passed him.

“What do you mean, friend?” He tilted his head. A gesture he displayed often now that Revenant thought about it.

“You… never mind. Let’s just go.”

When they reached the outside he realized that he had no clue where Wattson lived. He never cared to learn. “Where is it anyway?”

“It’s that way. It’s not very far”, Pathfinder pointed up the street.

Not very far and yet they wouldn’t even reach half way. They paced for just 5 minutes before Pathfinder froze in his tracks again. Goddamnit, why did this have to be so difficult? Revenant groaned. “What is it this time?”

No response. Pathfinder looked around like he had forgotten where he was or what he was doing. Revenant snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Hey, wake up.”

Pathfinder grabbed the pesky hand, sudden and fast, like a striking rattlesnake. He squeezed it tight as if he had the intent to crush it.

“Argh!” Revenant pulled back. He quickly considered slapping the MRVN, but said MRVN let go as soon as he heard the other robot grunt. His gaze wandered up and down before he spoke up. “Oh, we should get going!”

He didn’t get going. He sagged to the ground and put his head in his hands.

Revenant stood there baffled.

What. The hell.

He kicked his thigh lightly. “You gonna walk or what?”

No reaction.

The simulacrum rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong. The universe was trying so hard to drive home how much it hated him and he was too tired for this.

Sighing, he kneeled down to pick Pathfinder up, placing one arm on his back and reaching under his legs with the other. He did not expect him to be light. He had helped him up just minutes before. But lifting dead weight was a different feat. And damn was he heavy! This must have been several hundred pounds! Revenant had enough strength to heave him, but decided the fireman carry would be more comfortable. So he hauled him over his shoulders and resumed his walk.

Strangers were throwing stares at him, but they were sane enough to keep their distance and not approach him. At least the scout had told him where the actual building was, so that was one less problem he had to deal with.

He finally reached Wattson’s door. He knocked and made sure to make it as loud and annoying as possible. An upbeat, heavy accented voice called out from the other side. “I hear you! I’m coming!”

The lock barely clicked when Revenant pushed past it, paying no regard to the woman being shoved aside with the door. She caught herself quickly, but was thrown off again when she recognized the robot forcing his way into her home. “Revenant?! And Pathfinder?”

Revenant wasted no time. “He needs repairs. Where’s your workshop?”

There was another click, but it was not a lock. He turned around to see Wattson pointing a P2020 at him.  
  


He cackled. “You wanna shoot me and carry him yourself? You can try that right now. I’d love to see that.”

“Why are you here?” Her expression was stern.

“Are you blind? The MRVN needs fixing.”

“I see that, but why do you care?”

Revenant had no answer. Did he care? He did carry him here. He had no obligation to. It was his fault Pathfinder was in this state but he never would have given a damn before.

His hesitation did not help Wattson ease her mind at all. She peered at the blue robot hanging from his shoulders. He appeared conscious. Light was shining from both his optic as well as his screen, even if it was unreadable. But his inactivity was worrisome. Then she saw the gash at his side and the fluid smeared all over him and the monster carrying him.

She took a deep breath. She could do it. Pathfinder needed her. Revenant was terrifying but who would be better suited to deal with a machine than an electrical engineer?

“I do not trust you, but I will not leave him behind. You can take him to my workplace in the basement.” She waved her gun slightly to emphasize the direction.

Without another comment Revenant followed down the hallway and then the staircase. It led to her workshop, which was surprisingly roomy and filled with all kinds of sketches, technical drawings, devices and constructions. He paid no mind to those. He headed straight for a big work table at the center. Tools were lying on it. Revenant carelessly pushed them off to make room for the patient, placing him in the newly created free space.

The resulting clatter and noise made Wattson flinch, but she kept her pistol pointed at him the entire time. “Okay, he’s here now. You can leave.”

True, he could have left. But he didn’t want to. “I’m staying.”

She frowned. “Why do you want to stay? What do you want here?”

“I want to see him fixed.”

Was he serious about this? Either way, she didn’t have many options. Shooting him would be counterproductive. He would just return with a new body and freshly fueled anger. Humoring him would probably be the safer option. But someone needed to keep a weapon pointed at him to stop him in an emergency. And she couldn’t do that while working. “Okay, you can stay. But I will call someone to watch you.”

“Whatever.”

She fumbled for her phone, struggling to operate it one-handedly. “Renee? I need your help.”

The call was quick and the void walker even quicker. A portal opened up in the room. Wraith stepped out of it, RE-45 drawn. She threw a short, concerned glance at the mess that was Pathfinder before aiming her gun at Revenant.

With the simulacrum kept in check Wattson could finally rush to Pathfinder’s aid. She hurried to his side to take a closer look at the damage. No one in the room expected him to suddenly sit up at the speed that he did. Gasps and flinches came from all sides, but that didn’t damp his glee. “Hello, friends! I am so glad you are all here!”  
  


He waved at everyone separately, before lying back down, curling up into a fetal position and breaking into tremors.

Wraith’s eyes were wide. “What is wrong with him?”

“He’s been like this the whole way here”, Revenant said.

Wraith knew there was more to this. “What did you do to him?”

For a split second Revenant was offended that the void girl immediately assumed him to be the cause of this. But he quickly realized that she had every reason to. And she was correct. Then he wondered why he felt offended in the first place. Of course he would be the source of harm. His mind was a mess. What was going on with him?

Wattson announced the results of her first quick assessment. “It looks like some processors have been damaged. That is causing the instability.” She peered over to Wraith. “This will take a while. I will have to open him up.” She went to reach for some diagnostic tools, attaching them to a port at the back of Pathfinder’s head.

Wraith addressed her, but never broke her gaze from Revenant. “You got everything you need?”

The engineer was reading data off a screen, her expression increasingly worried. “Some components will have to be replaced and I don’t think I have the right spare parts. His model is unique.”

“I think he has spares at his place”, Wraith noted.

Wattson nodded. “He does. We should call someone to get them.”

“It’s fine. I’ll go”, Revenant interrupted.

Neither of the women expected that offer. Wattson’s features widened before becoming stern again. “Why should we trust you?”

“Just gimme the coordinates. There’s nothing in his apartment I’m interested in. And if I wanted to kill him I would have done so already”, Revenant replied.

“It certainly looks like you tried”, Wraith said.

To that he took definite offense. His voice lowered to a growl. “I don’t _try_ to kill, girlie. If I want someone dead, they’re dead.”

“What happened then?”, the void walker asked.

“Do you wanna keep interrogating me or do you want to actually help your friend here?”, Revenant countered.

Wraith stared him down, but he knew she was thinking. She made her decision. “Okay, I’m going with you.”

Concern was written all over Wattson’s face.

Revenant was indifferent to this. “Do what you want.”

A new portal opened up. The simulacrum stepped through it and disappeared. Wraith went to follow but was stopped by Wattson grabbing her arm. “Please be careful.”

The void walker gave her a soft smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

She left.


	5. The List

Wraith stepped out of the portal into Pathfinder’s home: a big, abandoned warehouse. She was in one of the main halls, where the scout had set up his main living room. There was a bed, furniture, potted plants and some pictures. He also had displayed some figurines, plushies and other knickknacks. His favorite guns were hung on the wall like hunting trophies.

She found Revenant strolling around, casually investigating his surroundings. He paid no attention to the void walker, his back turned towards her. She kept the gun ready in her hand, her tone assertive. “I’m asking you again. What happened?”

Revenant sighed. “You know what happened. I stabbed him and then brought him to Smarts to get him fixed.”

“Why?”, she asked.

He was pretending to be occupied with random objects. He had picked up a small bobble-head MRVN, tipping its head to make it nod. “Why what?”

“Why everything! Why did you hurt him just to get him help right after? Do you just want him fixed to hurt him again? Is it the power over him you enjoy?”

The simulacrum was growing irritated. “I got an endless supply of meatbags to slaughter and you think I go for the robot who won’t even cry in pain? It’s the damn opposite! He’s been following me for months and I can’t get fucking rid of him!”

None of this made sense to Wraith. “Why would you get him help if you wanted him gone?”

“I don’t know, damnit!”, he yelled out, turning towards Wraith, who in turn pointed her pistol at him. But he didn’t walk towards her or made any other attempt to threaten her. He just stared. And so did she.

It was at that point that she believed him. She didn’t trust or understand him, but she believed him when he said he didn’t understand himself either. She decided she had to ask Pathfinder about this later. Maybe he had a better idea of what was going on.

“Now where are those damn spares?”, Revenant broke the tension.

The spare parts were located in a different room. They wandered through the building, crossing several other halls and corridors. Revenant took it all in. “This is where he lives?”

Wraith didn’t reply. She was wary of him. Maybe he was planning something.

“What is this place anyway?”, he asked.

On the other hand, there was nothing to spill here. “I don’t know. Neither does he.”

“He just found it like this?”

“He knows nothing. That’s why he’s so intent to find his creator. To find his purpose.” Wait, did she say too much already? Damnit, how could she slip up like this.

“Huh… sometimes it’s better not to know.”

Wraith felt the weight that statement carried, but she chose not to think about it.

They reached a storage room with a great amount of big boxes. Cryptic numbers were handwritten on them, but no other information was discernible. Revenant opened a bunch of them to peek inside. They contained different types of electrical components, but he couldn’t tell what they represented. “Which do we need anyway?”

Wraith was busy with her phone, but always stayed aware of her surroundings. “Nat is still running diagnostics. I say we get one of each.”

They filled an empty box with everything that looked like it could be of use. There were also spare limbs and elements of that nature which they left behind. His torso was the only damaged part after all.

Revenant was carrying the box as they made their way back. Halfway he noticed a slightly ajar door he had overlooked before. Peeking inside he found a rather small room, its walls plastered with all kinds of prints. He stepped in to take a closer look. He saw writings, including some poems he skimmed over to confirm that they were as terrible as expected. There were newspaper cutouts and prints, mostly of Pathfinder’s wins and achievements. He saw many, many photos of Pathfinder with his friends. He found drawings, fan letters, pins and stickers. The walls were completely covered.

Wraith was watching him silently the whole time. “I thought you weren’t interested in his stuff.”

Revenant didn’t care to justify himself. “What’s all this?”

Wraith paused for a moment. “He calls it his ‘happy room’. He collects things of sentimental value here.”

“…huh.”

He discovered a small spot on the wall dedicated to him, containing photos, drawings and newspaper clippings of him. A particular piece of paper caught his eye. It was a to-do list, containing things like 'bring Revenant the gift', 'give Revenant a high-five', 'take a picture together' and similar nonsense. The point 'invite Revenant to the Paradise Lounge' was already checked off.

Wraith went in to take a look herself. She hadn’t seen this one before. “I have no idea what he sees in you.”

“…neither do I.”

The robot pulled the list off the wall before folding it neatly and stuffing it into one of his pouches.

Wraith frowned. “What do you need that for?”

He ignored that question, walking past her. “Let’s go back. They’re waiting.”

\----------------

When they arrived back at Wattson’s place they found her already working on Pathfinder. He was shut down, his chest opened up as she gutted him, removing anything broken inside.

“How’s it looking?”, Wraith asked.

Wattson wiped a bit of sweat off her forehead. “Not good, but I’m confident I can fix this. He’ll be fine.”

Under Wraith’s watchful eye Revenant placed the lifesaving box near the work table. He peered over Pathfinder to get a look of the aftermath of his outburst. It was a mess. It was remarkable how much damage he was able to do with just one hit. He wondered how the MRVN was able to function at all before.  
  


This all felt… bad. What was that feeling? Was it… regret? Did he regret hurting him? That didn’t seem right. He was probably just annoyed that he had to deal with this inconvenience. But the thing was that he didn’t have to do that at all. And yet he did.

His mind was spinning. He needed a break. He walked to a corner and sat down, waiting.

It took a few hours for the engineer to finish the surgery. Revenant would get up periodically to judge her progress. Wraith never let him out of her vision. She took the role of a bodyguard, always staying close to Wattson.

Wattson finally set the screwdriver aside with a huff. “Okay, it’s done.”

Revenant jumped up and hurried over, making Wattson flinch and take a step back. Wraith immediately targeted him with her RE-45 for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “Stay back.”

Revenant groaned. “Stop being so dramatic!” But he kept a 2 feet distance from the table.

Pathfinder looked as if nothing had ever happened, his chassis whole and clean. He was, however, still inactive.

“When is he gonna wake up?”, Revenant asked.

Wattson was hesitant, but replied. “He will need some time to set up. This can take a few hours.”

Revenant hummed in thought before addressing Wraith. “Open that portal again, girlie. I’m taking him home.”

The void walker was having none of it. “He’s staying here.”

He’s had enough. “Agh, I don’t have time for this.” The simulacrum went to pick Pathfinder up when a burst of fire rang through the room. He dropped dead to the ground, his metal body smashing onto concrete with a deafening crash.

\----------------

Pathfinder was alone when he woke up. He sat up from the table he was lying on, looking around. He quickly recognized Wattson’s workshop, yet couldn’t remember how he got here. He couldn’t recall anything after he visited Revenant and stopped him from hurting himself.

Sudden worry washed over him. Where was Revenant? Was he okay?

He quickly jumped off, taking the stairs to the first floor. There he heard familiar voices. Following them into the kitchen he found Wattson and Wraith chatting and drinking tea. Oh, what a relief! Maybe they could tell him more.

“Hello friends!” He waved at them, as he would usually do.

Both women looked elated to see him, beaming big smiles at him.

“Pathfinder! I’m so glad to see you up and running. How are you feeling?” Wattson was visibly relieved. This day had been stressful, to say the least.

“I’m feeling great! Have any of you seen Revenant? I was with him before I woke up here.”

Smiles faltered. Wraith sighed. Bless his heart, but she wished he would have been more interested in his own well-being. There had been many chances for things to go down a bad road. He was lucky to be in this better timeline. “We sure did. He took you here.”  
  


“He did? Where is he?”

“We shot him and kicked out his body.”

Pathfinder looked shocked, an exclamation mark on his display. “What? Why did you do that?”

“He threatened to take you. He was the one who injured you. Nat was working on you the whole day. Don’t you remember anything?”

Wattson chimed in. “When he broke the processors his memories were probably corrupted. His system must have reset them during set up.”

Pathfinder fell quiet. He felt lost and confused. Revenant had hurt him? He remembered him being upset, but it wasn’t directed at him. As far as he could recall at least. Also he took him to Natalie to get him help, so the incident was most likely unintentional. Right?

Wraith reached into her pocket and handed the scout a piece of paper. “We were at your place to get spare parts. He took this for some reason.”

He accepted the paper and recognized it as his ‘become super special friends with Revenant to-do list’. It was a rather long name, but he felt it was appropriate.

Wraith on the other side was not happy with his plans at all. “He said you’ve been following him. I know you’re eager to make friends, Path, but why him of all people? He’s the last person you want as a friend.”

The scout was reading through his list, reminding himself of his objective. “I think that is why I want to befriend him. He has no other friends and I think that’s sad.”

“He has no friends for a reason. He’s messed up. You can’t save everyone, Path.”

“I’m still glad to try.”

Wraith shook her head. There was sympathy in her voice, but she had to be stern to emphasize the danger he was tossing himself in. “You can’t upload into spare bodies like he can. You were lucky, but he might kill you next time.”

The MRVN had a strange feeling of déjà vu. He felt like he had this exact conversation before, but he couldn’t place it at all. All of this was a lot to take in, his mind working on overdrive to make sense of it. It was overwhelming.

“I think I need some time to think about this. This has been lovely, friends, but I think I should go home. Thank you very much for your help!”

\----------------

He felt drained. Pathfinder had the whole way home to get his mind in order but he hadn’t made any progress at all.

Inside his room he dragged himself to an armchair and slumped into it. He had another look over his list. He knew it by heart, but he learned from people that writing it down made it more real and personal.

He wasn’t sure how to progress. He still wanted to be friends with Revenant. He still wanted to make him happy. He still had that strange desire to be close to him.

But there was no denying that Revenant was dangerous and unstable. Pathfinder couldn’t remember what happened today, but Renee was right. He couldn’t repeat whatever mistake he had made. He couldn’t achieve his goals while being dead.

He should put the list back for now. He could decide on what to do with it later. Pulling himself up he headed for his beloved happy room.

He did not expect to find Revenant curled up in there. He was sitting on the ground, hugging his knees and staring at the special spot Pathfinder had created for him on the wall. “Revenant? What are you doing here, friend?”

The simulacrum turned slowly to peek over his shoulder, his gaze wandering up and down. His face was as frozen as ever, but he radiated a certain weariness. “Did they fix you?”

The urge to walk over and sit down with him was strong, but Pathfinder wasn’t sure if that would have been the right thing to do. He stayed in the doorframe. “Yes, Natalie repaired my damages. However I do not remember what happened. Renee said you hurt me.”

Breaking eye contact, Revenant turned back to the wall. “Yeah, I did.”

“Was it an accident? She also said you got me help.”

Revenant took a moment to reply. “No, it wasn’t an accident. I was mad and you got in my way.”

“Oh…”

The silence was oppressive.

Pathfinder spoke up again. “Why are you here?”

He waited.

“I don’t know.”

That didn’t help at all. The scout was more confused than before.

Looking back over his shoulder Revenant swayed his head to the side, beckoning Pathfinder to come closer. “C’mere.”

The MRVN hesitated before approaching him. He halted at a few feet distance.

“Sit down”, Revenant said.

He did as told, sitting down cross legged.

“I’m sorry.”

“Pardon?” Pathfinder perked up. Did Revenant just apologize? He had never heard him apologize to anyone before.  
  


“You heard me. I’m sorry for stabbing you. You’re annoying as hell, but you didn’t deserve that.”

Another pause.

Pathfinder nodded his head. “I accept your apology, friend.”

If Revenant had been able to hold his breath he would have released it right now. He tried to deny it, but he felt bad. He never had that before. He never gave a shit about anyone. He had been cursed with the most torturous existence imaginable, so why would he care about people? At least they had the luxury of life and death. He had been destined to spend eternity in limbo, having been shown no mercy. So he didn’t care to show it to others.

Then this dumb, stubborn robot came along and refused to show him anything but pure kindness. He had almost become one of his countless murder victims and still forgave him in a heartbeat. Revenant didn’t know how to deal with this. With him.

Pathfinder looked down at his hands, remembering his to-do list. He picked up some stray tape lying on the ground and stuck the piece of paper back on the wall. There were also a bunch of pens around. He retrieved a simple black marker to tick off the point 'bring Revenant the gift'.

Revenant observed the whole process. He had a look at the next point on the list, which said 'invite Revenant to dance'.

A mocking snicker escaped him. “Do you seriously think I’d go to a dance club with you? I told you I’m not interested in being surrounded by skin suits. Especially when they’re drunk.”

The scout considered that. “Hm… I think I can figure something out.”

“Tch, I’d like to see you try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm not gonna make any more announcements on when to expect updates, cause they are gonna be wrong anyway.
> 
> Also, this should go without saying but i still wanna put it down cause shit like that happens irl. This fic is about two robot moron fuckheads in a fictional universe. dont pursue someone irl who said they're not interested. and if someone abuses you irl then thats a dealbreaker. you kick them outta your life and never look back. at least not until they had extensive therapy. trying to help someone who is clearly hurting is honorable, but it should not happen at the expense of your own well-being.


	6. Distractions

“KILL LEADER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED”

Pathfinder reloaded his Longbow.

“Nice shot, buddy.” He was put in a squad with Mirage today. Their third, Caustic, had to be pulled from the game earlier after taking a few well-placed bullets to his gut. Syringes were only able to do so much and he was about to bleed out. So he was declared an elimination before being taken out for emergency care.

They still fared well, making it to top 5. Perching on a roof in Skyhook they enjoyed a quiet minute. Pathfinder used this opportunity to talk. “Elliott, can I ask you for advice?”

The trickster was digging through a loot bin. “Huh? Sure, what is it about?”

“You have a lot of experience with dances and parties. How can I invite someone to dance when they don’t like crowds?”

Mirage slapped close range optics off his Hemlok to replace them with the 3x HCOG ones he had found right before. “That depends if you want to party with them or if it’s meant to be a date. ‘Cause you can’t talk someone into partying if they are shy or anxious like that.”

Pathfinder pondered this. He hadn’t considered that until now but dating seemed like a great idea! Becoming boyfriends with Revenant was a possible way to become extra special friends for sure! “Well, what can I do if it’s a date then?”

Rubbing his temples Mirage sighed. This was going to be an exhausting one. “You can’t just change it into a date on a whim, Path. You both need to be romantically interested in each other. You need to talk to them and have them agree to it. That’s why it didn’t work out with Ash: it was one-sided. And no offense, but I don’t think people want to date robots.”

“What about other robots?”

Straightening himself Mirage threw a weird look his way. ”It’s another robot? I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised, really. Guess you have a type. Do you think they are into you?”

The MRVN rubbed his equivalent of a chin. “I do think he likes me, but I’m not sure if it’s romantic. How can I tell?”

A whistle escaped Mirage’s lips. “Oooh, so it’s a guy robot? Funky. Well, does he make flirty remarks? Compliments about your character or looks? Is he often around you and does he give you subtle touches maybe? Like touching your hand?”

Pathfinder pulled his fists towards his chest, excitement written all over him. “Oh, yes he does! I mean, he doesn’t make compliments, but he did touch me! We got very close just the other night when-“

“NOPE!” Mirage interrupted him, waving his hands dismissively. “Spare me the details! I don’t want to know! It does sound like you have a thing going there though. Listen here-“

He paused, seemingly recalling something. Realization mixed with terror spread over his face, looking at the robot with disbelief.  
  


“Marvin, please don’t tell me it’s who I think it is.”

\----------------

Vibrations from his phone signaled the rare occurrence of a received message. Revenant barely gave out his number to anyone. The game organizers got it, for obvious reasons. Caustic also had managed to dig it out somewhere, putting the wild goose chase for his source code in motion.

Growling, he clenched his fist. Loba was still stalling. She claimed she didn’t have the location yet, but he knew she had more than she let on. Unable to threaten her, he was stuck. He needed her to finally end this, so he had to play along for now.

He reached for his phone to see what distractions he could waste time on for now. Gotta grasp at everything you can get.

The message was from an unknown number.

“Hello, Revenant!  
This is an invitation to meet up with me. I hope you accept.”

Following that were a date, time and coordinates.

“Much love,  
Pathfinder”

Ah, of course. He spared himself the hassle to think about how he possibly might have gotten his number. He always found a way. Who cared at this point.

Wondering what he planned he checked the coordinates. He wasn’t familiar with that place, it being somewhere outside the city. It was apparently in the middle of nowhere. This was almost suspicious. There was no way to tell if this message really was from Pathfinder. Maybe someone else was luring him into some form of trap.

He snickered. What were they trying to accomplish? Was it to maim or murder him? There was no form of agony he wasn’t already familiar with.

Maybe it really was the MRVN with one of his dumb attempts to make him ‘happy’. Curiosity got the better of him. Checking the date he saw that it was set for tomorrow evening. Should he go? Dealing with Pathfinder was draining, but he also had turned out to be… interesting. If anything, he definitely was a distraction. Yeah, why not. He would have a look.

\----------------

8pm, the sun was setting. It was still hot outside. That made sense considering that this planet was cursed with an eternal summer. Being in the middle of a desert also didn’t help.

Revenant was wandering through the sands, eyeing the ring of mountains he was approaching. It seemed like an ideal location to set up an ambush. It was so obvious that he was certain it wasn’t that. No one would go through that hassle. This was Solace, there was no law. You could torture someone in their own bedroom. It would be just another Tuesday for the neighbors. They might run in with their own weapons but would usually decide that it wasn’t any of their business.

So he walked towards what he assumed to be more of Pathfinder’s antics.

Squeezing through a narrow passageway between two cliffs he made his way towards the center of the mountain ring. It was long and tight, forcing him to step sideways at certain sections. At least he could avoid scratches to his chassis. Not that it would have mattered. Although he would have liked to keep this body intact for a little longer. He had died and reloaded a lot recently and needed a break.

Reaching the end of the path he entered what looked like an oasis. A shallow lake shimmering in the orange light of the sunset laid in the middle of it, surrounded by a blossoming meadow. Colorful dots were sprinkled across the grass, visited by some stray insects gathering their pollen. A few small trees and bushes have made it in the only spot containing enough water for miles around. This was a secret hideout for life where dry death dominated. To choose this place for a meeting was the sappiest shit one could come up with. He was pretty sure before, but now there was absolutely no doubt left that this was indeed set up by Pathfinder.

He scanned the shore for a familiar figure, which was easily found. Pathfinder had already spotted him, waving like his life depended on it. As if there was any way to overlook him.

The simulacrum shuffled his way to him, leaving a trail of trampled flowers behind him. Closing in he noticed the light blue blanket Pathfinder had rolled out on the ground. Next to it were a music player and some form of picnic box.  
  


It seemed impossible, but the MRVN sounded even more excited than usual. “Hello Revenant! I’m so glad you accepted my invitation!”

“What’s all this?”

“Whatever you want it to be! But mostly a surprise.”

Revenant had another look at the set up. “This looks like a picnic, but if you really forgot that we can’t eat then there’s no hope for you.”

“I did not forget! I have prepared a bunch of alternative activities instead. Would you like to have a look?”

Pathfinder sat down on the blanket, pulling the box towards him to rummage in it. Revenant kept standing. He wanted to see what he had to offer first before deciding whether it was worth his time or not. As of now he had a tendency towards 'not worth my time'. It looked like Pathfinder was pulling out a bunch of ancient board games.

“I have a bunch of classic games here. I have Scrabble, Risk, Monopoly, Backgammon, Checkers, Chess, Cards-“

“Wait.” Revenant was already in the mindset of leaving when something caught his interest. “You got cards? The normal ones?”

“Yes, I do!” He picked up the stack, spreading it in his hand a bit, and waved it in the air to prove his claim.

They were indeed of the classic kind: clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades. Jacks, queens, kings and aces. No weird, fancy, made up shit invented in an attempt to improve something that’s already perfect. “You know how to play Poker?”

“I do! May I suggest Texas Hold’em?”

Revenant sat down on the blanket. “You deal first.”

Pathfinder was atrocious at this. One would think that being a robot would give you the perfect poker face. But Revenant hadn’t considered that the MRVN’s display would give everything away. He was unable to bluff in any form. He would even give straight answers when asked if he got a good hand.

Frustrated, Revenant threw his cards on the stack. “Why did you say you can play when you can’t even lie?”

The scout peeked at his hand, seeming befuddled. “But I can play! I know the rules.”

“It’s not about the rules, idiot. Those are easy. It’s about the bluffing. That’s what this whole game is about.”

“Oh, I see. I guess I am bad at this game then.” He gathered the cards to put them away. “Is there any other game you’d like to play?”

“Anything you’re not trash at. It’s no fun without a challenge.”

Pathfinder hummed in thought, looking at the collection. He pointed at a flat, wooden box. “I’ve been told I’m very good at Go!”

The simulacrum reached for the box to look inside. He found nothing but plain white and black stones. The board was just as basic, consisting only of black lines arranged in a grid. “I’ve never seen this one before.”

“That’s okay! I can teach you how to play.” He took the board from him to lay it flat down. “Do you want the white or the black stones?”

“I don’t care.”

“Okay, white stones it is then!”

The rules were on the simpler side, just like with Poker. But Revenant knew the simplest games often had the most depth hidden in them. Go’s complexity resided in its seemingly infinite possibilities for strategic choices. It was a game of conquering. It was comparable to chess in that sense, except that all pieces were the same. The focus also laid more in conquering space instead of enemy pieces, even if that was certainly a part of it.

Pathfinder shined in this game with his clinical analysis and forward thinking. It was a challenge for Revenant indeed. There was some back and forth, the game lasting little over an hour. Both of them were silent the whole time, sunken deep in concentration. In the end Pathfinder’s experience had him beating him at a notable margin.

“That was fun, friend!” The MRVN clapped his hands together. Another gesture typical for him, Revenant noted.

He grunted, the only form of affirmation he was willing to give. But he genuinely enjoyed this game. It was strangely calming. “You want a rematch?”

“Actually, I thought we could move on to the next activity!”

Reaching for the music player Pathfinder touched its screen to turn it on. Generic mid tempo pop music blasted out of it, a songstress singing her heart and soul out. He stood up and offered Revenant a hand. “Do you want to dance?”

Revenant didn’t move an inch. “No.”

“I made sure no people would be around to make you nervous, friend!”

“Nervous? What are you talking about?”

“It’s okay! I can start on my own and you can join when you feel like it!”

He bounced on the stony shore, twirling and throwing his arms around. He crossed and uncrossed his legs, attempted to roll a wave with his body, squatted down and jumped up. It was dancing by definition, but just barely. It looked like he learned to dance from those drunk skinsuits he liked to hang around so much. To top it all off he started shaking his hips.

“Stop, I cannot watch this! This is an insult to my eyes”, Revenant growled.

“Don’t you like my moves?” Halting the show, Pathfinder twiddled his thumbs. An exclamation mark jumped up on his screen. “Oh, maybe you could teach me some new ones!”

The simulacrum thought back to his human days as a hit man. You needed to fit in as such, be invisible among crowds. His targets often included high status individuals. He had to infiltrate fancy parties and ballrooms several times. So of course he knew how to dance. But that was literal centuries ago. He wondered if he could still do it. “You got something jazzy in this box?”

“I’m sure I can find something!” Pathfinder approached the music player to kneel down and switch through a bunch of channels. He found what he was looking for. Slow swing flowed from the speakers.

Grunting like an old man with back pain, Revenant rose from the blanket. “You ever heard of Foxtrot?”

“I have now!”

“Funny. Anyway, it’s a partner dance. You wanna remember it if you don’t wanna look like an idiot on a party with actual standards.”

With his left hand he reached for Pathfinder’s right, holding it at shoulder height. His right slipped under his left arm to place it on where his shoulder blade would be. “I’ll take the lead. Put your hand on my upper arm.”

Pathfinder was slow to react. He was staring at Revenant’s face. “You think I’m funny?”

“Focus, tin can!” To speed things up he snatched his hand to place it in the right position himself. “Listen, the basic step is easy. You start with your right. You take two slow steps back and then two quick ones to the right.”

He pushed him slightly, ushering him to follow his instructions. “Slow… slow… quick, quick.”

The MRVN got the hang of this rather quickly. Remarkable how skilled he could be with a proper teacher. He had no issues staying on beat while following Revenant. Not once did he step on his feet. Revenant appreciated that, he knew how heavy he was after all. His body was sturdy enough but no one needed the pain of several hundred pounds of metal stomping on you.

It wasn’t long before they were swaying across the shore. Forwards, backwards and turning they floated. Some steps lead them into the cool, shallow water, its splashes glistening in the moonlight. When had the sun set? Soon enough they were promenading, Pathfinder being pulled into underarm turns. No instructions were needed at that point, their bodies in perfect tandem.  
  


Revenant’s head was so comfortably empty. He focused on the music, the dancing repressing thoughts about the horror of his existence. There was a certain peace to this. He was distracted.

Pathfinder on the other hand was showered in those familiar tingly feelings, making him increasingly excited. He was so close to Revenant, not just physically. It felt like they were sharing a mind in that moment, moving as one unit, words superfluous. But he craved more.

Breaking their rhythm Pathfinder closed the mannerly distance between them. He pulled his right hand out of his, his hand on his arm slipping down. Reaching around the simulacrum’s chest he pulled him into a tender hug. He tucked his head snugly under his chin, humming in content.

It threw Revenant off a bit, but not enough to break the hypnotic state he had found himself in. Absent minded, he almost automatically put his arms around Pathfinder. The pair was still swaying slightly to the music.

There was no doubt for Pathfinder. They had a very special bond here, it was truly magical. Feeling so very connected he knew they belonged together. He wished for this moment to last forever.

“I love you, Revenant.”

This finally woke Revenant up. He looked down, registering what had happened and what position he had put himself in. He remembered the last time he was that close to Pathfinder. It had been disturbing, kicking off an intense mental breakdown. But right now he… didn’t hate it. Why didn’t he hate it? Why was it so… soothing?

He pulled away from the MRVN, taking a few steps back. His mind was overexerted, spinning. He felt sick.

Pathfinder leaned forward as if wanting to go after him, but he remained in the same spot. “Revenant? Are you okay?”

Revenant grasped at his head. “…no.”

Stumbling backwards the simulacrum slumped down. He was sitting halfway in the water, hand still at his head. What was going on with him? He felt confused. Disoriented. He tried to organize his thoughts but was unable to. He couldn’t make sense of this. Growing frustrated he clawed at his head, more and more.

The scout didn’t know what to do. Seeing Revenant like this hurt him, but he had to keep his distance. He did not want this to escalate again. “How can I help?”

Perking up, Revenant paused the scratching. “Talk to me.”

“What should I talk about?”

“I don’t care. Anything. The more stupid the better.”

“Oh. Hmm.” Pathfinder looked around, searching for a possible topic. He gaze fell on one of the flowers growing between the grasses close to them. He jogged towards it to pluck it from the earth, presenting it in Revenant’s direction. It was dark blue, four petals arranged evenly around its center.

“This is a Blue Mill. They are a native species on this planet and rather common. They require moderate to warm temperatures to grow and bloom throughout the whole year. They don’t look like much but are known for their intense smell, which attracts its pollinators. Those consist mainly of bees and specialized beetles. Speaking of smell, I believe this flower is one of the ingredients for the Purple Waltz drink you like!”

Revenant stretched his hand out. Curling his fingers he motioned for Pathfinder to hand him the flower. “Let me see it.”

Pathfinder didn’t move. He truly loved him, but he did not intend to make the same mistake twice. That wouldn’t help anyone. “I’m sorry, friend. But the last time you weren’t well you hurt me. I don’t want that to happen again. You said it yourself: I don’t deserve that.”

Shit. Shit, he fucked up. Pathfinder was right, he should stay away. But… he needed him right now. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so serene and he needed it back desperately. Fuck, none of this made any sense. He needed to pull himself together, but how?

Neither of them seemed to have a plan on how to progress. Pathfinder needed more information. “Can you tell me what’s wrong exactly? What are you feeling?”

Revenant looked at his hands, thinking. “I’m… overwhelmed. I felt… good before. But I don’t get why. It goes against everything I have lived with for 300 years. It shouldn’t be. But it is. And I want it back. I felt… normal. For just a second. And now I’m back to this hell of what I always have been. I feel… dependent. I hate that. But I need it. I want the pain to stop.”

Peering back at Pathfinder, he looked like a lost child. “Help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight i dont know shit about poker, go or the foxtrot. sorry if i spewed bullshit regarding that there, feel free to correct me on anything. also, i know poker with just 2 people is called "heads-up" but i thought that if called it that then some people might not have realized it being basicly poker. am i talking more nonsense here? i have mush brain


	7. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for self harm

Wraith’s phone rang. She grabbed it to check for the caller’s identity.

It was Mirage. He loved to bother her whenever he felt bored and she wasn’t in the mood for this. She pushed it away.

It was ringing again right after. Groaning she wondered what hot gossip he felt the need to share this time. Whatever it was he would not let go until someone was willing to listen. It seemed that it was Wraith’s turn today, so she begrudgingly took the burden upon herself.

She answered the call. “What is it, Witt?”

Mirage sounded out of breath, heaving as if he had been running from a Prowler. “Renee, this is an emger- emerc- This is urgent. We have to talk.”

“What is this about?” She furrowed her brows. He sounded genuinely distressed.

“It’s about Path. He’s gonna get himself murdered.”

She jumped from the seat, reaching for her boots. “I’m on my way. I’ll see you at the bar.”  
  
\----------------  
  
The portal opened, spitting Wraith into the Paradise Lounge. Mirage was nearby, making his way towards her as soon as he heard the typical sounds of said portal sizzling to life. “There you are! Path has lost his mind-“

“Is it about Revenant?”

Mirage’s mouth fell open. “You know about that?”

She leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms. “I was there when Nat had to save him. Revenant almost killed him already.”

Knees weak he let himself fall back on a stool. “Oh that dumb, stupid… When did that happen?”

“Last week. Didn’t he tell you about that?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache growing. “He didn’t. He just asked for dating advice and-“

She gave him a bewildered look. “Hang on. Dating?”

“Yeah, he apparently has a thing for messed up simlu- simulacrums. We need to do something, Renee.”

There was nothing they could do about Revenant. He was literally immortal and had nothing to lose. And she had already spoken to Pathfinder. If that near-death experience didn’t scare him off then what would? This was bad. She knew Pathfinder was weirdly fond of him, but she didn’t expect him to be of that level of suicidal naivety. She should have known better.

“This happened before, didn’t it? What made him give up on Ash?”

Mirage sighed, trying to remember. “I think she told him she wasn’t interested and then buzzed off. He was heartbroken for weeks.” He looked up to her. “You want a drink?”

She waved him off. “Thanks, I’m good.”

He grabbed for a flask of whiskey to pour some into a glass for himself.

There was something off about all this. “Revenant told him to scram countless times”, she noted. “Why won’t he take that rejection?”  
  
  
  


“He’s bad at taking a hint if it hit him square in the face but…” Mirage hated the thought. “…but maybe Revenant didn’t reject him.”

“There’s no way.” There couldn’t be. But thinking back, she recalled his behaviour being strange. He seemed… possessive, somehow.

“Is there though? He’s fucked up, who knows what’s going on in his head. Path did tell me about a thing they had.” The trickster’s face scrunched up comically.

Wraith didn’t like the sound of that. “What thing?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t want to know honestly.”

This didn’t help at all. She hated the vagueness and the lack of clarity on the situation. While Pathfinder would spill everything if just asked he couldn’t tell things he didn’t know himself. Just what was Revenant planning?

“We need to get to the source of this.”  
  
\----------------  
  
Grabbing one of the markers lying around in his happy room, Pathfinder crossed another point off his list. He felt accomplished. The date was a success!

Well, he wasn’t sure if it had been a date. He hadn’t discussed that with Revenant. But it sure did feel like one! It had been nice overall. He and Revenant had definitely bonded more. But there were issues. Revenant was still broken and hurting.

There did seem to be new hope though! It was only for a short moment, but Revenant had said that he felt ‘good’. And that basically meant ‘happy’, right? He also had asked for help. He had claimed that he couldn’t be helped before, but he wouldn’t ask for help if he thought it to be useless. So he had found new hope himself too, right?

The problem was that Pathfinder didn’t know _how_ to help. He was so close to solving this. He had managed to take Revenant’s pain away, even if just for a short while. But he didn’t know how he did it.

He leaned back, taking the collection on his wall in. He hoped that he and Revenant could solve this together. They did make a great team after all!

Pathfinder had been messaging him throughout the next few days to make sure he was alright. He searched the logs for clues, reading through them again and again. Revenant however seemed hesitant to share whatever was going on with him.

  
_Hey friend! I just wanted to check on you.  
Have you slept well?_

  
_im fine_

  
_That is great to hear!  
I have greatly enjoyed our evening together.  
I hope we can meet up again soon!  
I am still sorry that you weren’t feeling well at the end.  
I really want to help you overcome your struggles.  
Have you gained any more insight on your situation?_

  
_no_

  
_Ah, that’s okay!  
I am still willing to help you.  
So if you want to talk or need me in any other way then feel free to call me!_

  
_ok_

  
It appeared that this would take quite some time. But that was alright. He got a lot of time.

\----------------

Revenant had been restless. More restless than usual.

He was pacing, no goal in mind. Through his apartment, through the city, through the outskirts. Forever running, never arriving.

He felt like he was on withdrawal. He got a slight taste of peace and got addicted in an instant.

He needed it. Badly. But he was not willing to accept that. It couldn’t be right.

He tried to fall back into his routine. Wasting time, waiting for a miracle. A miracle that he would finally drop dead for good and be freed from this misery. Wasting time, looking for some slight enjoyment in the pain of others. A slight enjoyment in causing others a tiny fraction of the torture he had to go through.

He preferred murder up close and personal. It wasn’t always possible in the Apex Games. But whenever he had the chance he would make sure to take his time. Watching the agony and terror on his victims' faces as they took their last breath. He couldn’t return the favour to the bastards who did this to him, but he could turn his revenge against the whole of humanity.

But he would never be satisfied. He would only stop causing suffering once he didn’t have to suffer himself anymore. Once he could finally fall into black nothingness and never wake up again.

His hands were stinging. He looked down to find them scratched up. He hadn’t registered that he had been tearing at the Hammond logos embedded in the back of them.

The compulsion was relentless. Even if he was conscious of it now, he couldn’t break himself from clawing at them.

Dammit, he needed his hands. And he didn’t want to slip into another spare again so soon. The degrading of his mind had never stopped. Each time he died it broke down more. Things would only get worse.

His talons wandered up his arms, digging into the metal there. Shit. He couldn’t stop. Panic was overcoming him. He wanted this to stop. He needed it to stop.  
  


\----------------

The sound of a door being kicked in rang through the halls. It startled Pathfinder. He did not expect guests around that hour.

He followed the source of the smash outside his living room. He quickly found Revenant sauntering towards him.

“Revenant! I didn’t know you wanted to visit me today. But I’m glad to see you none the less!”

Revenant didn’t reply. He dragged himself past the MRVN and let himself into his room. How strange.

Pathfinder followed him. He noticed his stance being off, slightly slouched forwards and his arms crossed. “Are you okay?”

No reply still. The simulacrum walked up to the bed at the other end of the room, letting himself drop onto it. Staring at the floor he was scratching his arms.

That seemed to be a ‘no’. “Do you need help?” Pathfinder kept trying for a proper response.

Revenant looked up at him, slowly. After a while he nodded to his right side.

It seemed he was asking Pathfinder to take seat next to him. He was asking him to take a risk, wanting him to come close when he was in an obviously bad state. Pathfinder hesitated. This was exactly the position he did not want to put himself in again. “I am sorry. I don’t think I can trust you, friend.”

Letting his gaze wander through the room, Revenant’s eyes fell on the guns Pathfinder had lovingly mounted on his wall. He stood up, walking over to them and picking up a Wingman. A pistol, but with a good kick. After making sure it was loaded he returned to his seat on the bed. Gripping the barrel he held it out grip first towards the other robot. “Shoot me if I try anything.”

Apprehensively Pathfinder made his way towards him, accepting the gun. Then he sat down carefully next to Revenant, awaiting further instructions.

The simulacrum let out what sounded like a deep breath before presenting his right hand palm up towards the MRVN. This time said MRVN didn’t get the hint. He was confused. Did he want the gun back? He looked from his hand at his face alternately, waiting for clarification.

Revenant lightly tapped at Pathfinder’s wrist with the back of his hand before just holding it up again.

He still wasn’t sure. But he lifted his left hand, placing it gently into Revenant’s who in turn closed it around his.

Nothing else happened for some time. They just remained like that, hand in hand. Revenant had stopped the scratching, but Pathfinder noticed his shaking.

He started running his thumb over the back of Pathfinder’s hand, mapping out the structures and geometry. Focusing on those details he could feel his mind slowing down. This was better. Better than before.

His left hand found its way towards the scout’s lower arm. He ran his fingertips along it, discovering tiny bumps and dips barely visible to the naked eye. Pathfinder let him. He seemed to have an idea of what he needed right now, so he let him explore that.

Suddenly letting go the simulacrum pushed himself further to the back of the bed. He lied down on his right side, holding his left arm up and open. Waving for Pathfinder to join him.

Pathfinder hesitated. He did not want to lie down with a gun like that and have it go off by accident. But he should keep it within reach. He scooted up as well, placing the pistol on the nightstand next to him. He was confident he could grab it quickly enough if necessary.

He then crawled into Revenant’s arms, hands pulled up to his chest.

Revenant closed his arms around him, enveloping him in a hug. His hands were wandering across his back. There were a lot of strange contraptions and forms he could distract himself with. Right now all there was was Pathfinder. Diverting his mind. Making him forget the thoughts and compulsions wrecking him moments before.

The MRVN was lying still. He did not want to upset Revenant unintentionally again.

The simulacrum took notice of the tension. He would have to take a sting to his pride. “Touch me.”

Pathfinder looked up to him, seemingly looking for confirmation.

“Please”, Revenant added quietly.

Carefully the scout reached around Revenant’s waist, stroking his spine. This was… soothing. Yeah. It wasn’t too bad.

The air around them felt increasingly lighter. Revenant seemed to be okay. Pathfinder was glad about this, able enjoy this himself. He relaxed, pushing his head into Revenant’s scarf. “Are you feeling better?”

“…yeah.”

“I am happy to hear that.”

Revenant was feeling better indeed. He hated the situation he was in. He had to face uncomfortable truths. He could not explain it, but he got attached. He got attached to the dumb ass robot. The dumb ass robot had evolved from a frustrating nuisance to a frustrating nuisance he was finding comfort in. God fucking dammit, how could he let this happen?!

He placed his hand at the back of Pathfinder’s head, caressing him. Holding him close. Pathfinder nuzzled deeper into his scarf, humming. Revenant felt his hands rubbing circles into his back tenderly. This was nice. Fucking dammit.

“I love you, Revenant.”

His non-existent breath caught in his throat.

…what should his response be? This definitely wasn’t love. There was no love in his reality. And the naive MRVN had obviously no idea what love was. This was some weird parasitical relationship. Revenant was just using him for his own advantages. And the MRVN…

“What do you want?” Revenant asked.

Pathfinder did not expect that question. “What do you mean, friend?”

“What are you hoping to gain from this? ‘Cause I can’t give you love.”

“Oh? That is strange, because I do feel loved right now.”

Revenant scoffed. “You should raise your standards.”

Pathfinder was humming again, crossing his legs with his. “Well, for now I am happy. And if you want to give me more, then I am glad to wait until you are able to.”  
  
  
  


“That’s not-“ He paused, dropping the topic. He didn’t feel like arguing. Whatever. Who cared. He decided to just revel in this moment.


	8. Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh, extra warning for extra violence. writing action is so hard bhubhubhbuhbuh

“Hey Path! Good to see you here!”

“Hello friend! I am always on the drop ship before a match.”

Mirage was lucky that Pathfinder was so gullible, because damn was he a bad liar. “Hah! Yes, of course.” He lowered his voice throwing a quick glance across the room to make sure Revenant was out of earshot. He was in his lonely corner looking out of the window. “Sooo… how did that date go?”

The MRVN grew visibly excited, pulling his fists up to his chest and tip-toeing on the spot. “Oh, it was wonderful! Your advice was very helpful! He felt a lot more comfortable alone with me and agreed to dance.”

“Wait, he did?” Mirage threw him a sceptical look.

”Yes, he did! He also complimented me on my character. He said I am funny.” Hearts danced across his display.

The trickster couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Knowing Pathfinder he might have misinterpreted a few things but- no, concentrate Elliott! You have a mission! “Right so, can I have your phone for a second?”

“Sure friend!” Trusting as ever Pathfinder retrieved his phone and handed it to him.

“Cool, thanks.” He was scrolling through it.

Pathfinder observed him. “Are you looking for anything specific?”

“Uhm, uuuh…” Mirage was fumbling both with his words and the phone. “I’m… just looking through your pictures to see if you have some nice ones of that date!” He seemed to be in a rush now with whatever he was doing with the device.  
  


“Ah, no I don’t. Funny that you mention that though! Taking a photo with Revenant is on my to-do list. I’ll make sure to take some on our next one.”

“Yes. Great. Looking forward to that.” Finished with it he handed him his phone back.

“APPROACHING DROPZONE”, the announcer called.

“Oh, it is time! Good luck, Elliott!” Pathfinder flashed him a thumbs up.

“Same to you! Don’t die down there!”

They parted ways to their assigned squads. Pathfinder joined his team mates for the day who were already standing on their platform. Gibraltar’s smile was as big as himself. “Ey, good to have you on the team, brudda! Here’s to a good game!” He laughed, voice booming and warm.

Taking his position as jump master the scout placed himself between his squad mates. “Glad to fight with you too, Makoa!” He looked at their third, giving him a heart-eyed smile. “You too, Revenant!”

The simulacrum just grunted in response.

The floor lowered, revealing the all too familiar scene of King’s Canyon beneath them. The flight path of the ship was tricky. It was set at the edge of the map, making a large part hard to access and promoting crowded drops. Pathfinder was contemplating the options. Should they go for a long and late drop for a calmer looting phase or should they risk messy combat early on?

Something touched his hand, drawing his attention. He barely caught a glimpse of Revenant’s hand swaying away from his. The simulacrum pointed at Salvage, which was close by and marked as the hot zone this round. “Let’s drop there.”

Dicey choice, but also exciting! “Okay.”

“Sounds like a plan”, Gibraltar agreed, appearing confident.

Jumping right after Pathfinder they followed his lead. He guided them to the ground, safely and efficiently. They wasted no time, collecting whatever was scattered at their feet before enemy fighters could. First heading inside one of the small metal buildings at the south side Pathfinder managed to grab a level 1 shield, an Alternator, a fitting light magazine and some ammunition. A good start, he could work with that!

He would have to put it to use very soon. An unknown face rushed through the door with a Mastiff in his hands. The scout was quick, his draw speed and lighter weapon giving him the edge in this scenario. He placed a hefty amount of bullets in the enemy’s legs before he could lift the shotgun. He collapsed to the ground with a howl, dropping the weapon in the process. The way he was slumped over and grasping at his profusely bleeding legs suggested he wasn’t willing to continue the game.

Pathfinder looted his Mastiff. “Sorry you lost, friend. But thank you for the gun!”

His coms crackled to life, Revenant’s voice emitting from it. “Agh! I’m getting shot!”

Jumping to action right away the MRVN sped off to aid his squad mate. He heaved himself up the platform at the center, right where the crane protruded into the heavens. Heading to the edge in the west, towards where the giant skull was held by the crane over the sea, he found Gibraltar knocking out one of the enemies. A precise hit to his head with his Patu and the guy fell unconscious.

Meanwhile Revenant was busy shooting, holding another hostile at bay with an RE-45. It seemed he hadn’t managed to find a harder hitting gun yet. Dropping from the platform Pathfinder easily flanked the threat, incapacitating them with a Mastiff blow to their hip.

With the racket alleviated he was looking forward to more looting. A small object hitting the metal ground with a “Ping!” interrupted him before he could.

Gibraltar bellowed. “Grenade!”

The team dived out of the way, dispersing in all directions. Pathfinder couldn’t avoid the explosion completely. He was lucky his shield took the brunt of it. But that was merely the introduction to the attack. A hail of bullets followed.

Pathfinder was able to find cover quickly. Gibraltar seemed to have managed that as well, calling through the coms. “One’s on the roof to the west. His squad’s inside the building.”

A blood curling scream was followed by the wet sounds of a gored body dropping down from a considerable height.

Revenant’s tone was unnervingly nonchalant. “Roof guy’s dealt with.”

Pathfinder dared to take a peek. Revenant was on top of the building. He must have climbed up the side and taken the hostile by surprise. This gave their team an advantage in both numbers and position.

“I’m attacking from the back”, the scout announced.

“Okay. I’ll take the front”, Gibraltar replied.

Unleashing his grapple the MRVN swung himself between the structures with practised elegance. He kept himself close to the ground, bullets missing him just barely. He reached the building’s back and positioned himself right next to the door, waiting for a sign. It came in the form of Gibraltar’s voice. “Chargin’ in!”

Right away a great ruckus developed inside. Pathfinder kicked the door in to see hostiles focusing their fire on Gibraltar. The shielded fortress didn’t just carry his title for the flavor. His gun shield held the damage off long enough for his party to join and assist him. Oh, it seemed Revenant was already there too, shooting at the cornered adversaries. It was a mystery how he got in there.

With them being surrounded it didn’t take long for the next enemy to fall. The last one tried to retreat, heading to the back door. But there was no room. Pathfinder caught her and knocked her in the face with the butt of his gun.

“ATTENTION: THERE IS A NEW KILL LEADER”

Apparently Pathfinder was the kill leader this round. Awesome! He looked around. “I guess that was the last one. Congratulations to us!”

“Well done, brothas!” Gibraltar followed with a celebratory laugh.

Revenant walked past Pathfinder, casually patting his shoulder. “Good job.”

The MRVN produced more hearts on his screen. “Thank you!”

Now that things calmed down they could finally get to their well-earned spoils. Browsing through Salvage they restored their shields and stacked up on better gear. Pathfinder swapped his Alternator for an R-301. That should give him more options in mid-range combat.

With his squad still looting he decided to use the time to scan the nearby survey beacon. Downloading the map data he found that the ring would be closing in to the north west of King’s Canyon. It was quite a distance to go. “Friends, I suggest we take the jump tower.”

“Sounds good. There’s a replicator at High Desert. We got this!” Gibraltar agreed.

Revenant didn’t reply, but simply headed for the jump tower at the skull. Interpreting that as a “yes” they went after him. This tower was different to any other tower both in King’s Canyon and World’s Edge. It didn’t lead up vertically, but rather diagonally across the collapsed part of the island. There was no way to cancel the ascent. A premature jump would lead to a probable death in the sea next to the cliffs. However a fear of height was not in Pathfinder’s programming so he very much enjoyed the ride.

They arrived at the settlement between Bunker and Airbase. Staying close together they continued the looting among the housings, collecting materials for replicating in the process.

Revenant paused, observing Pathfinder crouch and dig through a pile of ammunition. “What are you looking for?”

Having found some shotgun ammo the scout stuffed it away. “I’m looking primarily for a bigger backpack. That would be helpful.”

“Alright, I’ll keep an eye out.” He moved past Pathfinder, letting his hand strife around his upper arm.

“Okay! Thank you, friend!”

A shot rang out. The bullet hit Revenant’s back, making him stumble. Gibraltar was nearby, quickly throwing down his protective dome around them and blocking any follow-up projectiles.

Revenant's body shield was shattered, but he himself was fine. He rushed around the corner out of enemy sight to repair it.

Pathfinder searched for the source of the attack. He found it surprisingly close, a glint of light giving away sniper scopes in a building at the other side of the settlement. “Hostiles in High Desert to the East. In the building to the far right.”

“I gotchu.” Gibraltar called down his bombardment. It took just a moment before explosives started raining from the sky, forcing any enemies still in the open to seek shelter inside the housings as well as limiting their options to reposition. They were effectively trapped.

Pulling out an Arc Star Pathfinder flung it into the window he saw the adversary before. “Arc Star out!” It sizzled through the air before clinging to a wall inside. Following that was some shouting and then a “bang!”

Gunfire started back up, mostly from Pathfinder’s squad this time.  
  


“Got one.” Revenant reloaded his G7.

Pathfinder scouted through the optics of his R-301. Their opponents have taken cover, hiding somewhere between the metal walls. A zip line could bring the MRVN’s team over there, but they would be huddled together. With their position already known their movement would be too predictable. He decided it would be better for them to ambush from different angles, just like they did before. “I’ll take the flank!”

He shot out his grapple, rapidly pulling himself above the deep groove separating the two teams. His friends were objecting. “Hang on!” “No!” But he was already behind enemy lines.

He discovered the hostiles outside the house behind a wall jamming syringes into their veins, trying to stabilize their beaten up bodies. The attempt was cut short by the scout who put a few bullets in them with his assault rifle. They scrambled away in panic, shooting at him and cracking his shield as they retreated.

One dropped during his flight, out of the game. The last one managed to run into housing and into temporary safety.

Pathfinder switched his R-301 for his Mastiff as he followed him into close quarters. Pushing through the door he invaded the room.

He felt something being violently jammed into his left shoulder, blocking the joint. High pitched beeping escaped him. He lost control over his limb, making him drop his shotgun.

The attacker had been hiding behind the door he had passed. He dashed forward, picking up Pathfinder’s Mastiff and firing it point blank into the robot’s torso. The blast forced Pathfinder to the ground, his shield now completely obliterated.

The enemy reloaded the shotgun but never got to fire it another time.

Metal claws grabbed the hostile’s head from behind, digging into his skull. Tossed around like a doll he was smashed face first into the wall.

Revenant dragged him down the metal to the floor, leaving a bloody streak on it. His victim struggled as he tried to push himself up. It was a fruitless effort, wheezing gasps escaping him. Reaching around his neck with his other hand Revenant bored his fingers into it before tearing the man’s throat out. An obscene amount of blood shot across the ground. The casualty twitched and choked but grew weak quickly.

Rising back up Revenant took a moment to cool down from the high of murder.  
  
  
  
He then glared at Pathfinder, approaching him briskly. “What the fuck was that about?!”

He knelt down to work on removing the thing stuck in Pathfinder’s shoulder. It appeared to be a thick sheet of metal, jagged on its edges. It might have been a part blown off one of the constructions. Pathfinder produced a few sad beeps as the simulacrum was tearing at it harshly. “I thought I had him cornered. But he surprised me. It was not a very fun one.”

Revenant tossed the metal piece away, grabbing the scout’s would-be chin as he got right in his face. “It sure fucking wasn’t! You just ran in with no backup! Why didn’t you wait for me to set up a totem?! That meat bag would have blown your insides out if I hadn’t been there!”

“Yes, he probably would have. Thank you for saving me, friend!”

Revenant let go roughly as he snarled in frustration. “You’re hopeless! How have you managed to survive this far?!” He got back up, pulling Pathfinder with him. He did not care to be gentle.

“With skill usually! But luck and teamwork also helped a lot. Speaking of, do you have any shield cells left by any chance?”

The simulacrum tossed some at his feet. “Take ‘em before I smash ‘em over your head!” He stomped away to the replicator, proceeding to craft a better helmet.

“Thank you!” Pathfinder called after him. He refilled his shield before resuming his search for a bigger backpack. And maybe some more shield cells, just in case.

Gibraltar joined Revenant at the replicator to craft a portable respawn beacon. “He’s quite the number, right?”

“A fucking moron is what he is.”

“And kill leader.”

Revenant growled. “He sure is, that lucky bastard.”

Gibraltar expelled a hearty laugh. “He impressed you!”

“Like hell he did.”

“C’mon, I know what I see when I see it.” He threw a cheeky grin his way.

The simulacrum glared daggers in response. “What do you mean?”

“How you reach for his arm. How you look at him. You’re not as sly as you think.” He gave Revenant a few energetic slaps to his back. “But hey, I’m glad to see you soften up a bit!”

Revenant recoiled. “Don’t touch me!” It took all of his willpower to not tear his teammate apart on the spot.

“I’m not here to judge, brudda!” Gibraltar laughed again, retrieving the beacon from the replicator and stashing it away. “Just some well-meaning advice: He’s a good soul. You don’t find many like him around. Don’t waste that!”

He went to join Pathfinder, leaving the other robot standing. A 6’8” murder machine covered in the blood of his enemies and this skin suit thought it was safe to be all chummy with him? Was Revenant losing his mind?

He watched Pathfinder chat with Gibraltar. He seemed cheery like he hadn’t almost just died before. Don’t waste that? He should tell that to the goddamn MRVN.


	9. Necessary

Revenant strolled through the streets. He hadn’t seen the message until he arrived back at his apartment after the game, but Pathfinder had asked him for another meet up. It was outside the city again, but not as far out. In fact it was right at the edge of it.

He was looking forward to it. He hadn’t been looking forward to another day in his life for a very long time. But Pathfinder was somehow able to achieve that. Whatever the little robot was going to come up with next, he was certain it was going to be something stupid and new. He kept on surprising him. He was the first one in decades to voluntarily offer him company and amusement. It took some, or rather a lot of convincing. But now Revenant was readily eating it all up.

He arrived at the given coordinates. It was a run-down place consisting of broken down, abandoned buildings. He scanned the housings. No sign of Pathfinder or any set up.

Several possibilities crossed his mind. The time and coordinates were correct, so it wasn’t on him. It was possible that the MRVN messed up or that something happened to him. But it was most likely that he letting his guard down was now biting him in the ass. He would be right about that.

He sighed. “What’s this about?”

Wraith and Mirage stepped out of between the ruins, approaching him. They were armed with pistols. Wraith gate was confident. “We want answers. Proper ones.”

Mirage tried his best, but he was obviously shaky about the whole thing. “Y-yeah! What she said!”

Godammit, Revenant finally got used to the scout’s antics and now his skin bag friends are showing up to be a collective hive mind nuisance. “Agh… haven’t you bothered me enough already? And the MRVN’s fine, I haven’t done anything since that one time.”

Wraith crossed her arms. “This is exactly what we want answers on. You are using him for something, aren’t you?”

The simulacrum chuckled. “Always assuming the worst of me. I’m flattered.”

“Stop deflecting.” Wraith did not intend to let him go this time. “You said you wanted to get rid of him but walk out to meet him when he asks you to.”

Mh… this looked like a wonderful opportunity to do some good ol’ riling up. “If you really wanna know: he has turned out to be interesting. He’s a good waste of time.”

Wraith wasn’t content with this reply. “There is more to this.”

“There is nothing more to him. He’s a talking toaster.” If Revenant could he would be grinning.

Wraith was scowling at him. Even Mirage was frowning. “Hey man, that’s harsh. He’s trying his best.”

Having successfully provoked them Revenant took a wide seat on the concrete leftovers of a collapsed wall. He felt invincible, comfortable. He was winning this game and it gave him a feeling of satisfaction and superiority. “You wanted answers, you got some. What did you expect? That this would stop him from following me?”

“No, we want to know what you want from him”, Wraith said. “He thinks you genuinely like him and we can’t convince him to stay away from you.”

The simulacrum scoffed. “Good luck with that. He thinks everyone likes him. Although I must say I like him as bait in the ring. He’s good at that.”

This was not the same Revenant she had talked to at Pathfinder’s place. This was the regular Revenant she saw in the games: edgy and abrasive, putting on the tough guy act. The Revenant at the warehouse was confused, frustrated and… anxious somehow. She knew he was hiding something.

Mirage tried his luck to get some more information out of him. Maybe the robot would be more susceptible to the ‘good cop’. “Look, we don’t mean to put you on the spot. We just want him to be safe. Please just tell us what’s going on. I swear we won’t tell anyone!”

“Just ask him if you want more”, Revenant suggested.

“We did and he said you two are in love.”

Revenant stood up abruptly. “That’s enough, I’m leaving.”

Wraith raised her gun. “No. Not this time.”

Revenant didn’t make another move, staring her down. With this rapid rise in tension Mirage reached for her shoulder, his voice trembling. “H-hey, wait! Renee! Let’s maybe not anger the murder bot too much, okay?”

A zip line shot into the ground a few feet away from the group. From the distance a blue figure was speeding towards them. With a heavy thump it jumped off right next to them. “Hello friends! Sorry for being so late. I didn’t see the message on time.”

The atmosphere took a strange shift. It was still tense, but with an awkward twist. Pathfinder was good at creating that. “What did I miss?”

Mirage took a deep, shaky breath. He wished Pathfinder wasn’t so intent on making everything so much harder. “You weren’t supposed to be here.”

The MRVN tilted his head. “Oh, why not?”

“Wait, maybe we can work with this”, Wraith interjected, never taking her eyes off Revenant. “Path, what is Revenant to you?”

The hearts on his screen gave his answer away before he spoke. “Oh! He’s a very special friend to me! He is difficult, but I still love him! He is strong, talented, smart, graceful, beautiful-“

“Stop!” The simulacrum snarled. “I can’t listen to this bullshit!”

“Revenant, what is Path to you?” Wraith continued.

“I told you already.”

“Tell it to him too.”

Revenant sneered. “He’s entertainment. That’s it.”

Finally. Maybe this would finally convince Pathfinder. “He’s just using you, Path”, Wraith stressed.

The MRVN pondered this for a moment. “Well, I’m glad to give him that if that’s all he needs to feel better. He does give me a lot in return.”

“Like what?” Wraith asked.

“He’s very caring in return. He makes sure I’m safe in the Apex Games. And he’s so gentle when we touch. And he has told me he wants to be more loving.”

Wraith whipped her head around. “What?”

Surging forward, Revenant immediately took advantage of that moment of inattention. He grabbed her arm holding the gun, crushing it hard enough for her to make it drop in pain as well as keeping her from phasing away. His other hand grasped at her neck.

Mirage pointed his gun at him right away, but the simulacrum lifted Wraith by her throat, holding her in between them. “Shoot me if you want. Just know that you’ll send the bullet through her as well.”

Pathfinder was panicking. “Revenant! No!”

Back in his element Revenant relished the torture. Squeezing her neck. Taking delight in her gasps and wheezing.

She was kicking and clawing at him, but her conscience was already slipping away.

“Have you found your answers?” Every word rolled out of his voice modulator like burning iron dragged across one’s skin. “Will you die knowing what you were searching for?”

Pathfinder latched onto Revenant’s arm, his voice full of determination and aggression no one thought him capable of. “Let her go!”

The other robot wouldn’t even look at him. “Why should I?”

“Because she is my friend! You are important to me, but so are my other friends. I will not tolerate you hurting them.” He shifted and there was a strange glint in his optic. “Let. Her. Go.”

Showing no fear whatsoever Pathfinder confronted him. Revenant peered at him out of the corner of his eye. This had happened before. It made him let his guard down with the absurdity for the first time. But maybe he was also impressed back then.

He let the void walker drop to the ground. She barely caught herself, stumbling away, coughing and heaving. Mirage immediately rushed to her side to support her.

A shot hissed through the air. There was a flinch, a frozen moment, before Revenant collapsed to the ground.

“Revenant!” Pathfinder scrambled to his corpse, distraught. He pulled it into his lap, cradling it.

Wattson hurried out of her sniper’s nest between the housings, obviously distressed. “Renee! Renee, are you okay? I’m so sorry. I couldn’t shoot sooner. You were in the lines, I was afraid of hitting you.”

Wraith was coughing. “I’m… I’m fine.”

“Why did you shoot him?” Pathfinder asked. “He was letting her go.”

“He was choking her!” The engineer was shaking. “I was supposed to make sure everyone was safe and I failed! I watched her almost die and couldn’t do anything. I had to shoot once the air was clear, I couldn’t risk it. Who knows what he would have done next?”

He was shaking his head. “He let her go and you killed him.”

“He’s not dead, Path.” Mirage didn’t give any damn whatsoever about Revenant. Natalie had done the right thing, but Pathfinder’s grief still affected him. “He’ll come back.”

Silent, the robot was running his thumb on what was left of Revenant’s cheek. The shot had blown out most of his face. It was a violently disturbing sight. “It’s hurting him.”

Okay, the trickster was willing to play along with some insanity, but there was a limit. “Are you listening to yourself?! He’s a serial killer! He loves turt- torturing people! None of them have spare bodies to just jump into! He almost killed Renee just now and you are talking about his feelings?!”

Pathfinder felt so lost. All he wanted was for everyone to be happy. Renee didn’t need to pull a gun on Revenant. Revenant didn’t need to choke Renee. Natalie didn’t need to shoot Revenant. Why was everyone fighting? They weren’t in the ring. None of this was necessary. “Did you write that message to Revenant when you took my phone yesterday, Elliott?”

“I- yes, I did. We set this up to confront him.” There was no way or need to deny it.

“Why?”

“To protect you!” Mirage gestured wildly through the air. “He’s like a pit labelled ‘lava’ in neon signs and your dumb ass is still running into it! We wanted to figure out what he wants from you to find a solution to this.”

A solution? But things were already going well, weren’t they? “I am sorry to say this but I think you are making it worse.”

“Worse?!” Mirage yelled. “He almost murdered two of us, including you! How much worse can it get?!”

“I appreciate your concerns very much friends, but I can handle myself.”

“Path, I saw what he did to you.” Wraith had recovered enough to speak again. “Don’t tell us you’re safe when you are clearly not.”

“Yes, that was bad”, Pathfinder agreed, nodding his head. “But he has since apologized to me.”

“This isn’t something fixed with just an apology!” Wraith objected. “You can’t take his word for that. You know that.”

With a wavering sigh Mirage slumped to the ground, putting his head in his hands.

“Elliott?” Pathfinder asked, worried.

Mirage’s voice was wobbly. “Marvin, we are trying to save your life here. How bad does it need to get for you to be convinced? I know we’re living risky lives with the Apex Games and all. But I don’t want to wake up some day and hear you’re dead because I didn’t try hard enough, man.”

He looked up at him, eyes glassy. “Please.”


	10. The Forest

Pathfinder had a lot of friends. He was looking at their pictures right now, here in his happy room. They always reminded him of all the good times they had together. And yet he hadn’t felt this lonely in a long while.

He felt like he couldn’t talk to any of his closest friends right now. They couldn’t help him, because they were part of his problems. He knew they meant well, but he didn’t feel well at all.

The basis of friendship is to be there for your friends, so he always made sure to help everyone around him. Now no one was able to be there for him.

Hugging his knees he was thinking.

The core issue of everything was that Revenant was dangerous. That’s what all his other friends were worried about. And they were right. But he couldn’t just stop Revenant from being dangerous.

How could he prove to them that he was safe with him anyway? Revenant had no intent to harm him. Anymore. For sure. He was protecting him, even from himself. He had told him to shoot him if he had to after all. That meant he would rather get hurt himself before Pathfinder would.

However he couldn’t prove Revenant’s good intentions to his friends, because he was always so quick to lash out. He was really bad at talking.

Maybe that was the solution. Pathfinder was very good at talking, so he could teach him! Once he learned how to be honest he could tell his other friends. And then they would be less worried. All he had to do was tell them! That’s all they wanted when they trapped him.

With renewed optimism and motivation he jumped to his feet.

\----------------

The city lights were bright, building a stark contrast to the empty night sky.

Revenant was in his apartment. Sitting on the couch in the living room he was staring out the huge window in front of him. In his hands he was holding one of those smell drinks, freshly brewed and drowning him.

Thoughtlessly he lifted the mug to his lips. The hot liquid hit his face, making him remember he didn’t have a mouth. Old habits die fucking hard.

He set the mug aside.

Knocking came from his door. He didn’t react. He felt drained and didn’t have the energy for nonsense right now.

The door creaked open. Someone came hopping in, a tenor voice calling out. “Hello? Anyone home?”

Steps came closer, heavy and distinct. “Oh, hello Revenant! Didn’t you hear me knocking?”

It took ridiculously long for him to reply. “No, I did.”

“Oh, okay.” Pathfinder tipped his index fingers together. “Are you alright?”

Revenant didn’t move for a while. Wordlessly he then opened his right arm, still not looking at the visitor.

The MRVN approached him cautiously to sit down right next to him. He leaned against him as he put his hand on his chest. The simulacrum reached around his shoulder, pulling him closer. “You got a gun.” It was not a question.

Pathfinder was playing with the red straps running down beneath his neck. “Yes, I promised my friends to always carry one around. At least for now.”

“And I thought you were annoying. Your friends need to learn to mind their own business.”

The scout’s left hand sneaked around Revenant’s waist. “They just worry about me. And I understand their worries.”

“Yeah… can’t say they’re wrong. And yet you come crawling back to me.” Subtlety is a foreign concept to the MRVN, so of course he noticed his grabby hands. But it felt nice, so he didn’t stop him.

“Yes, I wanted to talk.”

Groaning, Revenant reached for his drink.

“What did they say to you the other day before I arrived?” Pathfinder asked.

“They asked what I want from you”, Revenant rumbled.

“What did you tell them?”

“The same thing I said after you arrived: entertainment.” At least the drink was still hot. He watched the plant bits in it swirl around.

“Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

“What do you mean?”

“They knew you were hiding some things. You didn’t tell them that you had asked for help for example.” With curious fingers he ran along the hydraulics at Revenant’s side.

“It’s none of their business.”

“Are you hiding something from me too?”

“No.”

“I see…” The hand at Revenant’s chest slipped down, joining the other at his waist. They connected, completing the embrace. “I think if you were honest to them that they would feel better about you.”

Revenant sneered. “As if. You’re too naive.”

“I just want my friends to get along.”

“You always talk about others. You should think about yourself for once.”

“But I’m fine.”

Finally, the simulacrum whipped his head around. He seemed almost offended, glaring at him. “Shut the fuck up! You act like you don’t give a shit! Being all suicidal in the games and clinging onto a monster like me. Is your life worth nothing to you?”

Silence. Pathfinder seemed off suddenly. His screen displayed nothing but noise, making him unreadable.

Then he started shaking. Oh, no.

“Pathfinder?” Revenant asked, alarmed.

“I’m trying my best. I really am.” Pathfinder dug his face into his scarf, trying to hide from the world for just a little while. He squeezed the other robot like a child would clutch a plush toy for consolation. “Why are things still so bad? Am I doing something wrong? I don’t mean to worry people. I don’t mean to make my friends fight. I don’t mean to look like I don’t care. What am I doing wrong?”

Oh fuck. How should he… How do you deal with this stuff? Dammit, he didn’t sign up for this. Ugh, god fucking damn it.

Revenant put the mug away again. With both arms freed he reached around Pathfinder, placing them on his back hesitantly before giving him a few awkward pats. “You… It’s not your fault. You’re just too damn nice. And stupid. You’re trying to do impossible things, so you’re setting yourself up for failure.”

Pathfinder said nothing, still trembling as he listened.

“You’re idealistic when reality doesn’t give a shit about karma. You can’t always fix the fuck ups of others.”

No response.

Putting his head on Pathfinder’s, Revenant sighed. Just what the hell did he get himself into?

Time seemed to slow down. No changes in the lights outside, no changes in Pathfinder’s state. The only proof of time still continuing was the mug on the coffee table which cooled down and stopped steaming.

Eventually even Pathfinder calmed. “Revenant?”

“What is it?”

“I need you to be honest with my friends.”

Groaning, Revenant threw his head against the backrest.

“I can’t convince them that you mean me no harm if you don’t say it yourself”, Pathfinder continued.

This moron would never give up, would he? He could be slowly dismembered and still invite his torturer to a birthday party. He would never change. “What should I tell ‘em?” Revenant asked. “They have no reason to believe anything like that.”

“Just tell them the truth.”

“What truth? That I’m using your stupid ass to keep myself busy while I wait for death? As if that would make ‘em leave me alone.”

This made Pathfinder return out of his hiding place in Revenant’s scarf. He perked up, looking at him. “You want to stay with me forever until death?”

“What? I didn’t… that’s-“

“See, that’s what you need to tell them! The whole truth! You only tell a part of it so they don’t trust you. Tell them how you care for my safety, how much fun we had together on our date, how you-“

Revenant shot forward out of the backrest. “Hold up, that was a date?!”

The sudden movement startled Pathfinder, but he still held on. “Wasn’t it? We didn’t decide on it back then, but I thought it was pretty romantic.”

He was always quick to point out how dumb the MRVN was. But god damn was he a fucking idiot. Of course it was a fucking date. They were dancing slow foxtrot under the stars, it was disgusting. The MRVN was telling him over and over that he loved him. But he was telling that to all his friends, so he didn’t think too much of it. At least not consciously. It all just… happened. Almost naturally.

Did he accidentally make the MRVN believe they had a thing going? Of course he did. He had tried to fuck him. They were motherfucking cuddling right fucking now. How could he repress that so hard? He was so blinded by the trees that he didn’t see the fucking forest.

“You are in love with me”, Revenant finally realized.

Hearts on his screen. Obviously. “Of course I am! You are wonderful.”

“That’s why I couldn’t get rid of you.”

Pathfinder’s hand wandered up to his chest as if looking for a heartbeat that didn’t exist. “Well, you were always so sad and I didn’t want to give up on you.”

Revenant was speechless, in shock, stunned.

The scout took his hand into his, looking at him expectedly. “I love you, Revenant.”

A pause.

“…I told you I have no love to give. Especially romantic love.” He cringed, he couldn’t believe he was talking to a MRVN about romance. He couldn’t believe he was talking about romance at all.

Pathfinder was waiting for him to continue, kneading his hand tenderly.

Revenant’s head was empty, but not in the comfortable way. It was hollow in the dysfunctional way, unable to form any coherent thoughts.

“You said you had nothing to hide from me”, Pathfinder recalled.

Another pause.

“You need to be honest with me before you are honest with my friends”, the MRVN carried on. “Can you tell me how you feel about me?”

No thoughts, no words.

Grasping onto Pathfinder Revenant let himself drop to his left side, pulling him down on the couch. Pathfinder yelped as he fell on top of him. “Revenant?”

“I’m tired. I need sleep.”

“Oh, ok then. We can continue our talk tomorrow.” He laid his head on Revenant’s chest and powered down, just like that. The room was strangely quiet now. You’d never notice how loud the humming of Pathfinder’s inner mechanics was until it stopped.

Revenant stayed awake for a little while longer, staring at the ceiling.

What did he get himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight, this was dialogue heavy, but i hope it was still interesting enough ashgdsaahsdg


	11. The Gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heavy warning for suicidal ideation

It was in the very early morning hours when he woke up, the sky still dark. A rather short night, but he felt rested enough. Strange considering he had been lying underneath almost half a metric ton of machinery. Said machinery had awoken before he did, staring at his face while running loops on his chest with his index finger. “Good morning, Revenant! Have you slept well?”

Startled, Revenant sat up as he pushed Pathfinder off him. “What the fuck, have you been watching me sleep?”

Pathfinder retreated, but kept his place on the couch, making sure to keep one hand on the other robot’s leg. “Yes, I didn’t want to move and wake you unintentionally.”

“Well, you did a shit job at that”, Revenant complained. He got up and fled to the bathroom, a half-hearted attempt to escape from what was unavoidable. Pathfinder followed him, naturally.

Reaching the sink Revenant pulled his hood down before throwing some water in his face. There was no point to this. It was just a morning ritual he never got rid of.

Pathfinder sneaked up behind him. Hugging his waist he pulled their bodies flush together. He hummed as he put his head on his shoulder.

The simulacrum flinched before thrusting his lower arm against Pathfinder’s chest, pushing him away again. “You’re getting too comfortable with this, tin can.”

The MRVN let go, taking a step back. “Oh, I’m sorry if I overstepped your boundaries, friend.”

A single grunt was the response. “Agh…”

He turned back to the mirror, seeing himself and the robot behind him. This was so weird. Waking up with someone. Having them join you in the bathroom as you get ready for yet another day. Being close to them in this private moment, your head uncovered. It was so domestic. So normal. There was nothing normal about his life, yet here he was.

Throwing the cowl back over his head he turned around, leaving the bathroom. He headed to the entrance of his apartment before making his way outside. Pathfinder trotted behind him like a gosling following its mother.

He wasn’t running by any means, but his steps were swift. Revenant did not slow down at any time, keeping up the pace as he marched through the sleepy streets of Solace City. Pathfinder caught up to him, taking his place at his side. “Where are we going, friend?”

“Shut up.”

So he did. Pathfinder couldn’t tell what goal Revenant had in mind, the turns he took leading down an unfamiliar path. Maybe he didn’t know where he was going, just wandering. But his stride seemed so purposeful. He surely had something planned.

His gaze fell on Revenant’s hand several times during their walk. He would have liked to grab it. It could have been very romantic, strolling through the dark like that. However Revenant had made it clear that he was not in the right mood for that, so he resisted the urge.

They made their way to the suburbs, the housings becoming increasingly farther apart. Metal buildings turned into bush turned into leftovers of cut down forests turned into dry heathers turned into rocky hills. The earth grew steep as they reached higher grounds.

They arrived at the end. Literally. The road stopped at nothing, a cliff opening up in front of them. The view was magnificent, presenting varied landscapes for miles around.

Revenant stopped at the very edge, holding in for a moment before taking a seat. His legs were hanging in the air past the brink.

Pathfinder sat down next to him in the exact same way. He scanned what this outlook had to offer. He saw rivers snaking into the horizon, dense forests crawling into the distance and impressive mountains growing into the sky. “This place is wonderful!”

He turned to Revenant. “Is this another date?”

The simulacrum sighed. “Look down.”

Curious, the scout peeked down the sharp decline beneath them. He was lucky he wasn’t afraid of heights. Someone with that might have fainted on the spot. Falling off the edge wouldn’t have been a roll. It was a vertical drop, any attempts to cling onto the pointed rocks to break the fall would likely just slice up one’s body.

“This is quite a fall”, Pathfinder noted.

“Yes. The deadliest cliff around. I’ve been looking for a while, but no other place is this reliable.”

The MRVN didn’t like the sound of that. “That is scary.”

Revenant chuckled, but it was devoid of humor. “You think? Look at the bottom.”

Leaning forward slightly Pathfinder focused at the end of the chasm. Between angular rocks he noticed some objects which felt out of place somehow, mostly grey and red. “What is that?” 

“Bodies.”

He recognized them. They were smashed up, torn apart upon impact most likely, parts strewn around. But he recognized Revenant’s form. “There are so many.”

“There sure are.”

It bothered Pathfinder how casually Revenant spoke about this. This didn’t seem right. “Does your jump kit keep breaking?”

“No, I never activate it when I jump off here.”

This horrified the MRVN. “You do this on purpose!? That’s terrible! Why do you do that!?”

Revenant released another sigh, heavier this time. “Desperation, I guess. I know it doesn’t work, but sometimes…” He paused. “…sometimes I like to imagine, as I’m falling, that it’s the last time. That I take one last flight down to hell before I’m finally free.”

With shocking force the simulacrum was pulled backwards away from the abyss. He hadn’t even realized Pathfinder had sprung to his feet. He struggled, but Pathfinder would not let go, keeping on dragging him.

“What are you doing?!” Revenant protested. “Let me go!”

The pulling stopped once they reached a safe distance, but Pathfinder latched onto him. Using his entire weight he clung onto him with literal inhuman strength. “Please don’t jump!”

Palming at Pathfinder’s face Revenant tried to push him off. His efforts were futile. “Calm down, I’m not gonna jump! At least not now.”

He wouldn’t budge. Revenant accepted defeat, sitting in the dirt with the scout hanging onto him like a koala.

“Why did you go here today?” Pathfinder asked.

Revenant pondered this for a moment. “I’m not sure.” He dragged a finger through the soil, drawing abstract shapes into it. “I guess I wanted to show this to you.”

“Why would you want to show me such a sad place?”

“It’s not sad for me. It’s one of the few spots I dare to hope.” Revenant was confessing. Opening up, admitting weakness. “It’s where I dream of an end to this nightmare.”

Pathfinder shook his head. “No! No, that is horrible! Dreaming of your own death shouldn’t be a happy place! There is so much to live for!”

“I’m not living for fuck’s sake!” Revenant burst out. “I’ve died centuries ago! I’m a walking dead man! I’m forever dying but never dead!” His claws dug into the ground, tearing up rock. “You have no fucking idea what this is like! I died countless times in every way imaginable!” He threw his head back, yelling into the sky, like cursing a deity above who let this happen to him. “The terror, the agony, the desperation, the regrets! Over and over! Then forgetting about it, living like nothing happened each time! Until your mind breaks down! So broken it wasn’t able to protect you from the memories anymore! All coming back at once, flooding your mind, your senses! All at once! Not to mention the realization what you have become! A mindless puppet! I don’t have a life! It’s nothing but constant torture!” He screamed, pounding his fists into the earth. “All I want is peace!”

Revenant couldn’t cry. He was physically unable to. Instead he screamed, wailed and whined. Trying to expel the hurt stuck inside him. But it was fused to his ghost. He kept on trying but it was in vain. In the end it was a familiar exhaustion that forced him to give up. The sun was rising at that point.

Pathfinder hadn’t moved an inch, holding on for dear life. He had witnessed another meltdown, but at least he got out of it unscathed this time.

With sluggish movements Revenant turned to look at him. He noticed the blue light of a sad face on Pathfinder’s display. He was trembling again too.

“…is that shaking like crying for you or what’s that about?” Revenant asked, voice low and rough.

The MRVN picked up eye contact, letting go of him and taking the simulacrum's face into unsteady hands. “Please don’t jump again. You are hurting enough already. And it hurts me too.” His voice was glitching, the pitch rising and falling unnaturally at random intervals.

Everyone. Everyone wanted him dead. The Syndicate, Hammond Robotics, every sane human, even he himself. Everyone wanted to get rid of that liability he had become. What irony that he literally couldn’t.

And then there was Pathfinder. Begging under what would be tears to not even wish for it. “There are so many nice things you could do instead! You can have smell drinks, you can dance, you can play games!”

He was trying so hard. He saw the most hopeless case of an existence and refused to give up on it. His stubbornness was beyond belief. And what would you know… there was some success. As much success as one could dare to hope for. Revenant still wished for nothing more but his end. But he had flickers of genuine enjoyment with him. Not the implanted, superficial one he experienced whenever he got to kill. Actual speckles of tranquillity. It was what got him attached to the MRVN in the first place. Making him crave the comfort he brought. Making him agitated when they were apart.

Ah… this wasn’t anything he was supposed to feel. Yet here he was. Why was he fighting against this again? It wasn’t like things could be any worse. He was offered a lollipop while on the stretcher, so he might as well eat it up. It wouldn’t end or even lighten the agony, but he might as well take whatever little consolation was offered to him.

He took Pathfinder’s head in his hands, copying his gesture. He looked into that single, giant optic. It was just a camera in front of a bunch of wires and circuitry. And yet it was so full of life. More life than any machine had the right to be. Probably more life than the average human. So much life that he wanted to share it with something that didn’t have any.

It was then that Revenant decided to protect this being with whatever he had left. It was the single good thing that happened to him in 300 years. Everything had been taken from him. He had nothing. Until he received this tiny gift. He didn’t want this gift, but it was his now. And he would not give it back.

“I’m not sure what you’ve done to me”, Revenant said. “But I love you.”


	12. Maintenance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright two notes here:
> 
> 1) i noted it in an update on the first chapter, but i will go back to old chapters from time to time to add drawings to this fic. im worried someone might recognize me by my artstyle but the illustrator in me is too powerful i cannot tame them asgdsdgsad
> 
> 2) this is the first chapter im not really content with. i switched a few things around but cant seem to find a solution. i hope it still works with how it is right now. im trying to drag in a friend, who is not a shipper, as a beta reader to balance things out in future. neither of us are native english speakers though so i cant promise improvements on the grammar side oops

On any other day he would have been over the moon. Revenant’s words should have sent him to cloud nine, on top of the world, walking on air, to seventh heaven.  
  
Instead Pathfinder’s heart was aching. Any delight was buried and crushed by anxiety and worry. He had been ignorant of the extent of Revenant’s suffering. He had never met anyone so fundamentally miserable before. The concern for him was paralyzing. He would do anything in his power to relieve his anguish, but the burden threatened to smother him. It was a responsibility he didn’t feel ready for. No one probably could be.  
  
For now he at least wanted to make sure that Revenant wasn’t alone. So he asked him to go home with him.  
  
Revenant had no objections. He stayed silent the whole way, his demeanor apathetic. Maybe he was worn out after the breakdown. Or maybe he was processing what he had confessed and whether he should regret it.  
  
Meanwhile the scout was busy doing his own processing, thousands of thoughts and scenarios shooting through his mind. Everything had gotten so complicated. It was something he couldn’t solve on his own. But he had to do something.  
  
Inside the warehouse Pathfinder headed straight for his happy room. With no goal on his own Revenant strolled behind him. Before he got to step into the room himself Pathfinder already hurried back out of it. One hand held a pen and empty sheets of paper, the other grabbed Revenant’s. “Let’s go, friend!”  
  
He pulled the simulacrum behind him, leading him to the back of the warehouse. Again Revenant didn’t resist.  
  
They reached the outside through an inconspicuous exit door. There they entered a garden. It was groomed enough, but mostly left to evolve on its own. It was naturally pretty, but aesthetic didn’t seem to be its main function. Patches of flowers were interrupted by plain grasses and shrubs. The critters here seemed to appreciate that, swarming around and feeding on this living bouquet.  
  
Pathfinder escorted Revenant to a rusty bench next to a bush of yellow, rose-like flowers. He sat down and tapped the empty space next to him. “Come sit down.”  
  
Revenant did as told. “You planted this garden?”  
  
“Yes! My house and the area around it were so empty and lifeless, so I made it prettier. I also want to put more potted plants inside once I figure out how to get more natural light in there.”  
  
“Huh.”  
  
Needing a flat surface to write on Pathfinder placed the paper between them on the bench. “Okay friend, we need a plan.”  
  
“Stop calling me friend.”  
  
Pathfinder looked up, confused. “Aren’t we friends anymore?”  
  
“We…” Revenant didn’t know what this made them. He was too tired to think about it. His mind was running on low energy. “No, it’s not that. Just use my name. It’s less weird.”  
  
“Oh, okay then!” Pathfinder leaned over to print a headline on the first sheet, his handwriting clear and neat. It read ‘List of Things Revenant likes’.  
  
Usually Revenant would have called out the stupidity of wherever this was going, but his thoughts were somewhere else. “Pathfinder?”  
  
“Yes, Revenant?”  
  
“Do you have an actual name? Or do you just go by that moniker?” He had plucked an overgrown rose hanging in front of his face. He punished its audacity by pulling its petals one by one.  
  
Pathfinder clasped his hands together. “Pathfinder _is_ my name! Although some people call me just 'MRVN'. Or 'Marvin'.”  
  
“I'm not gonna call you by your model.”   
  
“You don't have to! You can call me 'Marvin' not as in M-R-V-N, but 'Marvin' as in M-A-R-V-I-N.”  
  
“Oh, I see. Marvin, huh?” What a dumb name. It’s like calling a cat ‘Kitty’. It was generic as hell. But it did feel like he had learned something personal about him. He just now realized that he never cared to get to know this robot which had turned out so important to him. “At least it’s easy to remember.”  
  
“That’s what everyone tells me! Do you also have another name?”  
  
“Just stick to ‘Revenant’.”  
  
“Okay!” Pathfinder leaned back over his paperwork.  
  
 _List of Things Revenant likes_  
  
 _\- playing Go_  
 _\- playing Poker (with someone who is good at Poker)_  
 _\- smell drink ‘Purple Waltz’_  
 _\- dancing ‘Foxtrot’_  
 _-_  
  
“Is there anything else you like to do?” Pathfinder asked.  
  
“Killing.” The rose was stripped by now, naked and pitiful.  
  
Pathfinder curled his fingers in discomfort. “I’m going to leave that one out. Anything other than killing?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“That’s okay! We will work on that!” He grabbed a second piece of paper, headlining it ‘List of Things Revenant might like’. “Look, this is where we can write down things to try out! I’m sure together we can come up with a lot of ideas! And when we find something you like you can add it to the first list. It will become super full of nice things to do! Then you can look at it whenever you feel sad to cheer yourself up! You will always have happy things collected and don’t need to be sad anymore!”  
  
The very optimism that had made Pathfinder so endearing was becoming irritating again. Revenant squashed the rose’s skeleton before letting it drop to the ground. “I know what I said. But I’m this close to kicking your screen in.”  
  
Pathfinder leaned back, growing nervous. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand?”  
  
With no facial expressions at his disposal Revenant angled his head to give him the most intense glare he had to offer. “I showed you the place I fucking kill myself on a regular basis.”  
  
“Yes! And it’s terrible!”  
  
“How don’t you understand how fucked up my existence is then?! Do you seriously believe that collecting games will fix that? Your dumb photo wall may work for you, but don’t think for a second it’ll do shit all for me.”  
  
“I…”  
  
Revenant grabbed the papers to crumple them up into a ball. With a snarl he threw it as far as he could. It disappeared behind the fence.  
  
Pathfinder watched his well-intentioned attempt at help fly away. He was at his wit’s end.  
  
It did not escape Revenant how the scout deflated, his posture slumping in. “Marvin.”  
  
“I don’t know what to do, Revenant”, Pathfinder blurted out. “I really don’t. Tell me what to do. Please.”  
  
Maybe Revenant wasn’t annoyed because Pathfinder was naively hoping in a better life for him. It was rather because the MRVN hadn’t learned anything. He was running in a loop, making the same mistakes over and over.  
  
The simulacrum grasped the other robot’s hand. “I want you to realize that you can’t do miracles. Play games with me or whatever but stop talking like everything will be fine. ‘Cause it won’t be. And you’ll give yourself the fault again and I don’t want your fucking sad face on me ‘cause I don’t know how to console!”  
  
Everything had been one-sided this far. Pathfinder had been giving his all for Revenant, whose ego made him do nothing but smack everything he offered into the dirt. Or take it for granted. He needed to start taking care of him. And he needed to start now. A music box will stop playing if you don’t wind it up and keep it clean. He would never forgive himself if the only thing he had broke. “Think of yourself for fucking once.”  
  
Pathfinder was quiet, looking over the flowers he had raised so lovingly between the metal and concrete. “I want 3 things from you.”  
  
Demands. Well, Revenant did ask for it. “What are those?”  
  
“First: I want you to talk to my friends, tell them the truth and answer their questions honestly.”  
  
Revenant groaned.  
  
“Second: I want you to get the lists back. They won’t fix you, but they will help you. And we can find things we both enjoy and can do on dates.”  
  
“Alright, whatever.”  
  
“Third: I want you to stop killing yourself.”  
  
“What?” Revenant sputtered.  
  
Pathfinder picked up eye contact, staring deadpan. “You heard me, I’m sure.”  
  
“It’s the only fucking way I can pretend to have control over my life! The only thing I can fall back to when shit becomes unbearable!”  
  
The MRVN’s tone was assertive. “Well, I need to think of myself and I cannot stand the thought of you hurting yourself. It hurts me too much. We will find other things to make things more bearable.”  
  
Like hell they would! Like hell he would give up the only way he knew how to help himself.  
  
…was he helping himself? Maybe. But he had been using this method for years and it was nothing more than a quick fix in exchange for more chunks of his sanity. It accelerated the rotting of his mind. It made it worse in the long run. It was probably more of an addiction.  
  
Pathfinder’s nonsense would also be a quick fix at best. But it could be a quick fix without the downsides. All he had to do was get off his high horse. He could always go back to his old ways if things didn’t work out. “Guess I should go get those papers, huh.”


	13. Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aight, first 2 chapters are illustrated. chapter 3 has 1 image, ill add 2 more soon. i think 3 pictures per chapter seems like a reasonable amount

If looks could kill then everyone on this drop ship would have been dead 10 times over.

Pathfinder was his usual self, chatting up all his friends, excited to play another round of Apex. Maybe this time his creator would finally watch the games and notice him! The timing would be ideal. He would be the closest thing to a father he could introduce his new boyfriend to! Oh right, he probably should have clarified with Revenant whether they were boyfriends already or if they had to go on more dates. He wasn’t exactly sure how many dates you needed to reach boyfriend level of friendship. They could talk about that after the game.

Drowned in euphoria he didn’t pick up on the discomfort of his fellow competitors. Barely any of them paid much attention to what he was babbling about, distracted by the almost 7 foot tall monstrosity hovering behind him.

Mirage was in his personal area, observing the robots from afar, making sure to look away whenever Revenant picked up eye contact. His anxiety was hammering on his stomach, making him feel like he was about to throw up. Pathfinder was unarmed, weapons were not allowed on the drop ship. It wasn’t a rule anyone cared about, many had melee weapons with them. Loba probably had her personal P2020 hidden somewhere. Why did Pathfinder feel the need to play fair when no one else did?

He noticed the simulacrum place his hand on Pathfinder’s back. It wasn’t subtle at all. He stared at Mirage, making sure he knew. The message was clear: ‘This is mine.’ He had declared Pathfinder his property. Mirage felt sick.

A playful punch collided with his shoulder, more painful than probably intended. Although you never knew with Rampart. “Oi, what’s up, Witt? Ya look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Might as well be! Ow…” He rubbed his shoulder.

She followed his line of sight. “Looks like your brilliant rescue plan did shit all.”

The trickster slumped back into his seat. “Yeah, thanks for reminding me. Wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Hey, who knows?” She snickered. “Maybe he’ll tame the beast. Then we’ll have two happy robots. Imagine that.”

“Ugh, what a nightmare.”

“APPROACHING DROPZONE”, a familiar announcement boomed through the room.

Everyone looked at the monitors, checking their fates for today.

“Well, would ya look at that!” Rampart was grouped with a random newcomer and the ‘Synthetic Nightmare’ himself.

“How can you be so chill about this?” Mirage wished he had nerves like that.

“I’m not the one he’s gonna shoot at, mate.” She winked at him as she made her way to her platform.

God, she was right.

Today’s match was taking place at World’s Edge. It was a more extreme location in regards to its environment, which varied from icy hills to burning hot lava streams.

Ready to lead the jump Rampart had a good look across the magma encircled island. She pointed straight to the front of them. “How’s that, fancy some action at Factory?”

The new face, a broad, rough looking guy with a scraggly beard, who had introduced himself as ‘Bull’, was standing next to her with crossed arms. “Sounds good to me.”

“No”, came from the other side.

Squinting her eyes Rampart turned her head to the source of the objection. Revenant wasn’t known to be particularly cooperative, but he usually wasn’t opposed to hot drops either. He didn’t seem to be willing to argue about it with how sharp his reply was. He wasn’t even looking at the land, but rather keeping an eye on something behind them.

“Well, too bad. We beat ya by democratic vote, mate.” She placed her fists on her hips. “Also I’m jump master.”

With a sudden leap Revenant jumped off the platform, launching solo. He headed to the North, leaving his squad behind.

Rampart followed him soon after, and so did Bull. That robotic prat just had to be a damn issue, hadn’t he? She had no intention to dance after him, but they would have been at a massive disadvantage with one less player on the team. She hoped he would behave after getting what he wanted. A child would usually shut up once they got the ice cream they were screaming for. It wasn’t responsible parenting, but it wasn’t your problem either if you were just the babysitter.

They landed at the big roof at Refinery shortly after the simulacrum, who was already bursting through a door to loot his first gun.

“Hey, ya could have given us a warning at least!” Rampart complained.

Revenant stashed some ammunition away, indifferent to her criticism. “They’re downstairs. Do whatever, I don’t care. But.“ He turned to both his squad mates, lowering his voice to the deepest ends of his range. “The MRVN’s mine.”

He fled to the second floor for more loot before she could ask him what the hell he was planning. Not that it would have been worth it, she would probably have gotten just a headache in return. Not wanting to fight with him over the better guns either she headed to the other end of the roof to search through the offered items there. Bull stuck with her, sensing that she was the less exhausting fighter to work with.

She picked up a level 2 body shield, syringes, an RE-45 and a Spitfire. Not bad for a start! Any game starting with an LMG should be a good game.

With the roof and second floor cleaned she hurried down the stairs towards the first floor. There she found one of their adversaries, an unfamiliar rando. She had her Spitfire ready, firing a good round into the enemy and breaking his shield. “Hell yeah, let’s dance!” She laughed.

Bull stormed past her with great fanfare. He had a shield on his arm out, using it to knock the hostile down the stairs and slam him into a wall on the side. He swiftly placed a Wingman under his chin and killed him with a single shot through his skull.

Rampart barely reached even grounds when shots hit her from the side, caught by her body shield. She found Gibraltar rounding the corner with his gun shield out. She didn’t bother trying to crack that shield but aimed straight for his legs.

He didn’t seem to have a body shield yet. The bullets pierced his calves, forcing him onto the tiles with a pained grunt. But he wouldn’t give up yet. He still had his gun shield up and attempted to get a few shots in from the ground. She was hit by enough bullets for her body shield to crack.

Keeping her focus, she aimed for his arm. The spread hit mostly floor and shield, but it needed only 2 bullets for Gibraltar to be incapacitated. No way would he be able to pull the trigger with torn muscles in his limb.

Approaching him she put the Spitfire on her back to retrieve her pistol. The games were always great fun. Where else could she go wild like this and show off her mods? Was good for business too. But it was impossible to avoid maiming your pals from time to time. And that did leave a bad taste in your mouth. “Hey, no hard feelings, big guy.”

Gibraltar was gasping, but forced nevertheless a grin through the burning ache. “No hard feelings.”

She whipped him across his head with the butt of her RE-45, knocking him out of the game. He would be taken into emergency care soon. She should get him a drink later.

More shots came from the left, burying into her shoulder. “Ah, bloody- fuck-“, she hissed, quickly firing in the vague direction the attack came from while rushing into cover. She heard a Wingman fire from the same location. She assumed it was Bull taking the flank.

“Stop shooting and hide!” Revenant bellowed through the coms. “I told you the MRVN’s mine!”

Like hell she would risk her life for his bull crap, but she was in the process of hiding already anyway. Slipping back around the corner she huddled between 2 loot crates to inject a syringe into her veins. The effect was immediate, she felt the pain subside and the bleeding stop.

There was no time to appreciate whatever mad genius invented this stuff. Metal steps were jogging towards her position. She readied herself to jump out when they suddenly halted.

Their place was taken by grunts, beeping and general sounds of a struggle. She took a peek past the crate to the left to find Revenant wrestling with Pathfinder. He was behind the scout, one arm slung around his neck as the other was pulling at the hand holding the gun.

More Wingman shots blasted through the air, grazing Pathfinder’s thigh and torso. Bull was coming from the right side to aid his team mates. Pathfinder’s panic meanwhile increased, making him fight against the constraint more desperately.

“Stop!” Revenant barked. “Shoot again and I’ll rip your heart out!”

Perplexed, the man slowed down. He lowered his gun, but kept a keen eye on the skirmish in front of him, ready to jump in any time.

It would resolve pretty soon. Revenant removed his arm from Pathfinder’s neck to reach around his chest instead. He lifted him slightly off the ground and threw him backwards over his hip in a half-assed suplex. He stumbled, but managed to both force Pathfinder to the ground as well as wrench the Alternator from him. He stepped on the rope connecting to his grapple for good measure, keeping him from pulling himself away. The scout had no way to defend himself.

Revenant took a moment to collect himself, taking satisfaction in this win. He didn’t get to fight someone on his level of physical strength every day. “You’re on my squad now. Get your coms out, I’ll give you the code.”

Rampart’s jaw dropped. So did Bull’s. “What do you mean he’s on our squad now?!”

The simulacrum glanced at him over his shoulder. “I mean exactly what I said.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I prefer you not dismantling him.” Rampart rose from her safe spot, taking a few steps towards him. “But teaming is against the rules, mate.”

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Revenant countered.

The subject of the quarrel was quiet and rather confused, looking between all of them.

Rampart continued. “Not sure what’s up with ya two, but I get it: I don’t like shooting at my buddies either. But we signed up for these games. This’ll bite us in the ass later.”

Revenant didn’t bother to continue the argument. His mind was set. He turned his attention back to Pathfinder, kicking lightly at his side. “Get your coms out.”

“Are you for real?!” Bull yelled out, stomping forward. He was steaming. “I was so excited to fight with you! I thought we would get to massacre the whole arena! And now the serial killer robot refuses to kill?!”

Said robot glared daggers at him. If looks could kill…

“Look, ya don’t need to kill him.” Rampart was still hoping for an outcome not too messy. She didn’t mind messy, but not so much on her own team. She knew the chances were slim at best though. “Just knock him out or shoot his limbs.”

Bull raised his pistol. “I’ll fucking do it if you don’t.”

“Don’t you fucking dare”, Revenant growled. He turned around, towering over the threat.

“The coms won’t even allow 4 people in the line! It’s 3 people per-“

A silent moment of shock. Then he started gasping, choking on his own blood. He looked down his torso, seeing Revenant’s claws drilled up his chest and feeling him dig around his insides.

“Told you, meat bag”, Revenant drawled.

“What the bloody hell are ya doing?!” Rampart exclaimed. Damnit, maybe Mirage was right. Maybe it was better to have the murder robot shoot at you than having to deal with this shit.

Bull dropped to the ground. He was gone.

Revenant reached for the dead body’s coms. It wasn’t like it needed that anymore. “Take this.”

He threw them to Pathfinder, who was still on the ground, bewildered. He caught the piece almost automatically. “…I don’t think we are allowed to do this. This is cheating.”

“No, it’s not.” He offered Pathfinder his Alternator back. “We’re a 3 people squad. It’s a fair fight still.”

Pathfinder peeked at Rampart hesitantly. She just stared back.

The MRVN got up carefully, accepting the gun.

Rampart addressed the simulacrum. “I won’t take responsibility for this when the Syndicate gets on our asses.”

He scoffed. “That’s fine. They can come for me. I’d like to see them try.”


	14. Lies

“This is a terrible idea.”  
  
“Ya think?”  
  
Rampart was sitting at the counter, a mischievous grin stretching across her features. Mirage had closed up the Paradise Lounge earlier today to have more control over the situation. It wouldn’t guarantee anything, but he wanted to minimize chaos wherever he could.  
  
“Ey, it’ll be alright! We got each other to watch our backs!” Gibraltar was sitting at the round table close by. Rampart brought him in. One, to have him there as a peacemaker and two, because she claimed she owed him a drink.  
  
“I appee- appreciate your optimism, buddy. But there’s no way this can’t go wrong!” Mirage was having the most troubles keeping his calm. He was worried about Rampart’s loud mouth. He hoped she wouldn’t say anything they all would regret.  
  
“We can avoid the worst. We just need to be careful with our choices. I let my guard down last time. That was my mistake.” Wraith was the last one in the round, leaning against the counter. Wattson wasn’t there. Wraith insisted on letting her out of it this time. She was a tough one, but her perceived failure on protecting Wraith weighted on her. So the void walker wanted to give her a break.  
  
The sound of a door opening made everyone’s head collectively snap towards the main entry. A tall, lanky figure stepped into the establishment. And with him he brought a grey rucksack. “Hello, friends!” Pathfinder waved to the group before hopping towards the table where Gibraltar was sitting, taking a seat next to him.  
  
Behind him followed a taller, lankier figure. And with him he brought tension beyond description. Revenant strolled slowly behind the other robot, eyeing the group, scanning his surroundings methodically.  
  
He reached the table as well, taking his place next to Pathfinder. Folding his hands in front of his face he leaned his elbows on the wood and continued staring.  
  
Silence. The air so heavy with suspense it threatened to crush you.  
  
“I’m so happy we all met up here to talk today!” Pathfinder said.  
  
The tension remained. The silence became more awkward. The magic of Pathfinder.  
  
Mirage hated how Revenant was sitting right next to the MRVN. So close, there would be no time to react if he attacked him. Pathfinder was carrying his Wingman, as he had promised, but Revenant could stab him before he had time to draw it.  
  
A solid minute of no words spoken. The two parties were observing each other, searching for any miniscule sign of aggression.  
  
“So”, Revenant began. “What do you wanna hear so you’ll leave me the fuck alone?”  
  
Well, that was one way to break the ice.  
  
“Hearing of your disappearance would be ideal”, Rampart offered.  
  
“Ramya!” Mirage sputtered. They barely started the meeting and Rampart just couldn’t resist being the funny one. How ironic of him to think that. “Don’t anger the murder bot, damnit! Why do I need to keep telling this to everyone?!” He needed to steer this in the right direction. “Maybe we need something to lighten the mood! I’ll make us some drinks, how about that? The usual for everyone?”  
  
“You got it, brudda!”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Ya know it!”  
  
“Actually”, Revenant interjected. “Make me something new. I’m getting tired of that other one.”  
  
“Hah, sure!” Mirage replied, shooting him nervous finger guns. “No problem! Right on it!”  
  
“Ya can drink?” Rampart asked. “That’s a new one.”  
  
“Are you mocking me?” Revenant growled.  
  
Mirage hissed through his teeth. “Ramyaaaaa.”  
  
The engineer raised her hands. “Just asking! I’m curious, that’s all.”  
  
“I told you about this simulacrum drink idea I had a while ago…” The trickster gathered the necessary items to mix Wraith’s Appletini.  
  
“Oh, I remember! Didn’t think you’d go through with it. Do sims really buy these?”  
  
“Not many come around. But when they do, then yes!” He pushed out his chest, looking proud of his accomplishment.  
  
“Can’t believe something you made worked for once”, Rampart smirked.  
  
“Gee, thanks.” Finished with it he slid the drink towards Wraith, who gladly accepted it.  
  
Rampart snickered. “Hey, I kid! Can humans drink them too?”  
  
“Hell no!” He retrieved two mugs to fill them up with beer. “It’ll fucking kill you! It’s just for smell!”  
  
“Bummer.”  
  
Revenant groaned. He knew this would be exhausting. But they haven’t even started asking questions yet and he was already done. He couldn’t believe Pathfinder got him to do this. “I swear, after tonight I’ll never talk to any of you skin bags ever again.”  
  
Gibraltar laughed. He found the whole scenario pretty amusing. That did help to calm the stress around them a bit.  
  
Having received her order Rampart dared to sit at the cursed table. She took a seat next to Gibraltar, putting down both their beers. “Here ya go!”  
  
“Thank you!”  
  
“If we would all gather round the table”, Pathfinder jumped in, feeling like now was a good moment to introduce everyone to his plans. “Then we could do some fun things while we resolve our issues.” He rummaged in his bag, pulling out a stack of cards.  
  
Mirage called out from behind the counter, where he was setting up a hot mug for Revenant. “What is that?”  
  
“It’s obviously cards, you olm”, Revenant jabbed at him.  
  
“I thought cards fit well in an evening at the bar”, Pathfinder explained. “Revenant likes Poker. But I’m bad at Poker.”  
  
Rampart cooed. “Oooh, Poker! I’m in!”  
  
Any other enthusiasm was rather subdued. “Not sure if I want to pretend like we’re friendly with the murder bot.” Mirage wrapped up Revenant’s mix and was getting a glass of whiskey ready for himself. “But a guy with the perfect poker face? Now that sounds like a worthy challenge.” He looked rather smug, having found his cocky side.  
  
“Hah. Don’t flatter yourself.” The simulacrum wasn’t impressed. Mirage was terrible at concealing his emotions. His skills at Poker should be around Pathfinder’s level. “You skin bags are so easy to read.”  
  
Rampart was rubbing her palms together like a scheming villain. “Let’s make this more exciting. How about Strip Poker?”  
  
“No!” Mirage picked up the last drinks, coming around the bar. “Not that I mind showing off my naturally given beauty. But the robots are already naked, it’s dumb.”  
  
He arrived at the table, placing the steaming mug semi close to Revenant before hurrying to the other side of the table to sit down there.  
  
“I don’t need anything more than a scarf anyway”, Revenant said. “Like hell I’d lose a single round. But I don’t want to see any of you skin suits naked, to hell with that.”  
  
Wraith was the last one to join the round. She sat down directly in front of Revenant. She held eye contact while sipping, making sure he knew she wouldn’t be intimidated by him. She wouldn’t lose her cool. Not this time.  
  
“I was kidding anyway!” Rampart laughed. “Didn’t think you’d take that serious.”  
  
Pathfinder was digging in his bag again, pulling out a bunch of chips. “I’ll be the dealer! You don’t need to lie for that. You just need to know the rules. And I do know them. I’m sure I’ll be a great dealer!”  
  
Revenant meanwhile dragged his mug towards him. This time it was quiet enough to hear it sliding across the wood, but it didn’t have the effect he was hoping for. The atmosphere was still uneasy, but there was also a weird casual quality to it.  
  
The scent hit him hard. It wasn’t as intoxicating as the first time he experienced it, but it was still good. This was a spicier mix, less of the sweet stuff. It seemed to be a concoction of a bunch of herbs, burning and energizing. And it carried through the room.  
  
“Oh, that’s some strong stuff!” Gibraltar said. “Can smell it from over here!”  
  
Pathfinder handed out the chips and everyone’s first hands.  
  
“Do ya get drunk from that?” Rampart asked.  
  
“No” came Revenant’s reply. “I wouldn’t take ‘em if they did.”  
  
Pathfinder threw a glance at him. He was taking this ‘honesty’ thing very seriously. He had told him before that he would hold him accountable. But it wasn’t a lie. These things did have some sort of effect on him, but it wasn’t drugging by definition. Humans are pathetic to find joy in the humility of being drunk, giving up control like that.  
  
Mirage expelled a shrill laugh as he looked at his hand, completely out of place. “Oh, man! I call!” He then looked over to his right. “Hey, Makoa! How did you manage to earn your drink? Ramya said she owes it to you.”  
  
“Oh, she got me good last game!” Gibraltar chuckled. “She thinks it makes it a truce, but I won’t hold back next time.”  
  
“Didn’t expect ya to.” She grinned.  
  
With everyone’s bets set, Pathfinder placed down the flop.  
  
The trickster frowned at the revealed cards, but continued the conversation. “Oh yeah, last game was a wild one. Congrats on your win by the way! I was down at respawn, but I heard there were issues at the end? Something about the game not stopping even with only one squad left? What was that about?”  
  
Rampart knocked the wood to signal a check. “Nah, it was two squads still. But _someone_ thought he was above the rules.” She gave the culprit a noticeable stare.  
  
“I am”, Revenant deadpanned, raising his bet.  
  
Gibraltar chortled. He didn’t find Revenant’s behaviour funny at all, but he had his suspicions about his motivations. And he found it delightful.  
  
The bar keeper wasn’t as in the plot. “I don’t get it.”  
  
Pathfinder revealed the next card.  
  
“We did a player swap”, Revenant claimed. “Two fighters switching squads.”  
  
“No, ya murdered your teammate and forced an enemy player to fight for ya”, Rampart corrected him. Not liking how the turn looked she folded.  
  
“I didn’t force him.”  
  
Rampart addressed the other robot. “Did ya feel like ya had a choice, Path?”  
  
“Well, I guess I could have surrendered and left the game.” He fumbled with the stack.  
  
Mirage called. “Wait a second, did I get that right? He killed a squad mate to replace them with Path?”  
  
“That rando was shit anyway”, Revenant explained himself, raising his bet again. “Missed close range Wingman shots and didn’t listen to commands.”  
  
Pathfinder revealed the last card, completing the river. Both Rampart and Wraith had folded at this point, leaving Gibraltar, Mirage and Revenant in the round.  
  
“You’re possessive of Path.” Wraith felt it was time to get to the point. The room fell quiet. There was that tension again.  
  
Revenant peeked at Pathfinder out of the corner of his eye. He just looked back expectedly.  
  
The simulacrum was tapping at his mug with the metal tip of his finger. A repeated “clink, clink” rang through the room. “I don’t need to tell you how fucking suicidal this idiot is. He’d run into lava if you told him it’s friendly.”  
  
“I said the exact same thing…”, Mirage murmured.  
  
“So you’re his protector now? Is that what you’re trying to say?” Wraith nibbled at the apple slice which came with her drink. She wondered if simulacra ever missed eating, or if they lose their desire for food in the process.  
  
“Someone has to be. You’re no good at that.”  
  
No, she would not lose her cool. But she would still give him a glare. “You’re the reason he needs it in the first place.”  
  
“Now, hang on”, Gibraltar interrupted the developing argument. “You talk ‘bout the guy like he’s a child needing custody. Give him some autonomy, will you?”  
  
Releasing a heavy breath Wraith shoved the last piece of apple in her mouth. “Path?”  
  
“I can protect myself, friends”, the scout said.  
  
“Are you brain dead?!” Revenant exclaimed. “What was that game you stormed behind enemy lines alone and almost got pulverized by a Mastiff?” He pointed at Gibraltar. “I’m not making this shit up, the big one was there!”  
  
Gibraltar checked. “Yeah, bold moves I gotta say.”  
  
“That was a close call”, Pathfinder agreed. “I appreciate your help.”  
  
“Or that time you got stabbed and had hours of your memories reset?” Wraith reminded him.  
  
The MRVN hung his head. “Yes, that wasn’t good at all. Thank you for helping me.”  
  
A sigh escaped the simulacrum. It was deep with a growly note to it.  
  
“What is it?” Wraith kept pushing. It was risky, she knew that. She didn’t forget how things escalated the last time she did that. But they had to be direct. Vague questions would make it too easy for him to dance around straight answers. “Do you suddenly have a conscience? Are you trying to make us believe you feel bad about that and want to make up to it?”  
  
“This isn’t about him, is it?” Mirage spoke up, knocking on the wood for a check. He had trouble keeping eye contact, suddenly very anxious again. But he needed to step up. Pathfinder was his best friend, he couldn’t leave him hanging. “He’s just like a thing you want to keep for yourself. I saw how you tried to scare everyone away on the dropshti- drop ship. It was like you didn’t want him to talk to anyone.”  
  
Surprised, Pathfinder turned towards Revenant, an exclamation mark on his chest. “Is that true? Are you trying to keep me away from my friends?”  
  
Quiet, Revenant was tapping at the mug again. His mind was working in overdrive. He couldn’t fall back on his usual ways of problem solving, which were violence and force. He couldn’t attack anyone, he couldn’t flee, he couldn’t drag Pathfinder away. He needed him in a stable, happy and voluntary state. He needed his music box willing to play for him. He had to come up with new solutions, fast. He… oh, no. This situation required social skills. Shit. What the hell was he supposed to do?  
  
“Tell me the truth, Revenant”, Pathfinder demanded.  
  
…might as well do that.  
  
“You want the truth?”  
  
Pregnant silence.  
  
“The truth is: I don’t know.”  
  
Wraith glowered at him. He was putting up this dramatic performance for nothing and she was growing frustrated. “Don’t give us that excuse again.”  
  
Leaning forward, Revenant raised his voice. “Don’t drag me into this shit and force me to tell the truth if you don’t want it!”  
  
He felt Pathfinder putting his hand on his arm. He picked up eye contact with him, but he couldn’t tell what Pathfinder was thinking or expecting of him.  
  
Gibraltar chuckled.  
  
The simulacrum turned his irritation towards him. “What’s so funny?!”  
  
“I want to know as well.” Mirage felt like something went over his head. But he wasn’t the only one confused. “Did I miss a joke?”  
  
Gibraltar stifled his snickering, but kept a smile on his face. It wasn’t a smirk at all. It had a strange warmth to it. “Sorry, brothas. I’m not making fun of anyone. I’ve seen this before. It’s familiar, bringing back memories.”  
  
“What are ya on about, mate?” Rampart had been quiet for a while. She wasn’t one to hold back, but she knew when times called for her sass to be calmed.  
  
“Saying it out loud won’t do any good.” He took a sip from his beer. “They gotta figure it out. But to give them a push: I think he’s afraid of losing him.”  
  
Feeling cornered, Revenant was getting increasingly agitated. “As if!” He snarled. “As if I’m afraid of anything!”  
  
“Huh.” Rampart put her hand on her chin. “That explains why ya were willing to break the game to have him on your squad though. And how yelly ya were when we were blasting at him.”  
  
Smashing his fist down, he made the chips on the table bounce. The whole group tensed up, readying themselves to jump to action any moment. “ ’Cause you wouldn’t fucking listen to commands!” He roared.  
  
He doubled over, suddenly. Gasping as he clutched his side. Pathfinder had given him a swift punch to his midriff.  
  
“Path, are you fucking insane?!” Mirage shouted.  
  
But Pathfinder was very collected, no signs of stress. “We talked about this, Revenant. Don’t yell at my friends.”  
  
To everyone’s shock Revenant didn’t retaliate the strike. He leaned back into his chair. “…right.”  
  
Rampart’s jaw dropped. “Bloody hell, ya _did_ tame the beast!”  
  
Mirage couldn’t believe his eyes. “No way.”  
  
A growl radiated from the simulacrum.  
  
“What…” Wraith was stunned. “What happened between you two?”  
  
Fuck it. Revenant was done. “You know what fucking happened? You want to know so I can finally leave this shit hole?”  
  
“Hey…” It was beside the point, but insults to Mirage’s beloved bar always hurt.  
  
Grabbing the MRVN’s shoulder in a demonstrating way, Revenant gave him a slight shake. “This fucking idiot wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone! He followed me for months! I fucking stabbed him and he still wouldn’t let off! Forgiving me and telling me that he fucking loved me! Can you believe that?!”  
  
“I’d usually say no.” Who knew why Mirage felt like he needed to reply to a rhetorical question. “But he is a special case…”  
  
“He sure fucking is!” Revenant was yelling again, but it didn’t seem threatening. So Pathfinder let him. “He keeps pulling me into doing stupid skin bag shit! He's distracting me from this hellhole of an existence! He-“  
  
He took a deep breath, despite having no need for air.  
  
“He's the only one in the goddamn galaxy who doesn’t want me dead! _I_ want myself dead!” He pointed at his own chest in a theatrical fashion.  
  
“He’s annoying! He’s naive! He’s a dumbass! But he’s _my_ dumbass now!”  
  
The room was devoid of any sounds. All but Revenant’s heaving.  
  
“So…”, Mirage picked up again. “When Path said you went on a date and danced… that actually happened?”  
  
“His ‘dancing’ was pathetic”, he sneered. “Someone had to fucking teach him.”  
  
Rampart didn’t know what she expected, but certainly not this. “Mate, are ya saying you two are a thing?”  
  
He huffed. “All I know is: He’s the only thing in my life that’s not complete and utter bullshit.” His voice dropped to inhuman depths. “And I will eviscerate anything even looking at him funny.”  
  
This couldn’t be right. Wraith was at a loss for words. She couldn’t believe it but… he didn’t seem to be lying. Why should he lie about something like this? Especially after he refused to do it for so long. His behaviour was more in tandem with how he acted at the warehouse.  
  
“Bloody hell!” Rampart waved her index finger alternately between the robots. “You _are_ a thing!”  
  
A laugh, rich and warm, bellowed through the bar. Gibraltar was its source, slapping his hands on his belly.  
  
Revenant stood up. “I’m leaving.”  
  
Grabbing his arm, Pathfinder pulled him back down to his seat. “Wait, please.”  
  
“You got what you wanted! I have nothing more to say.”  
  
Rampart leaned forward. “Are ya kidding? This just got really interesting! Ya gotta tell us about that date ya had!”  
  
“Like hell I have!”  
  
“You haven’t placed your last bet yet”, Pathfinder pointed out.  
  
“What? Agh, I fucking raise.” The simulacrum wanted to get this over with.  
  
The remaining players revealed their hands. Gibraltar had two pairs, Revenant had four of a kind and Mirage… had a straight flush?  
  
The trickster threw his arms in the air before hugging the chips and dragging them towards him. “Woo! Oh, hell yeah!”  
  
“What? What was that about?” Revenant was perplexed. Mirage’s behaviour made no sense whatsoever. He had such a strong hand, what was up with those frowns and calls? The random cheers in between were also misplaced.  
  
A rare giggle came from Wraith. “He’s a bad liar. So he overplays everything and does random things. It’s hard to know what’s really going on.”  
  
“That’s ridiculous.”  
  
Mirage leaned back, putting his arms behind his head and placing his feet on the table. “Still beat you!”  
  
Oh, the pride. Did he want to leave this embarrassing situation? Or did he want to correct this embarrassing error of his?  
  
“Gimme a rematch”, Revenant demanded.  
  
Mirage shot him a finger gun. “Got you, mister scary!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight, i know a announced this a bunch of times and it never turned true, but updates might slow down considerably now since im starting the semester to work on my bachelors degee  
> also sorry to anyone who knows poker and suffered through my ignorance. i tried to research but my brain dont work no good


	15. Too Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight, so this one has sexual themes again. nothing explicit happens, but explicit language is used. i think the mature rating is still appropriate but im willing to change it if people disagree
> 
> AND first 5 chapters are now illustrated. i also fixed the formatting so it's less awkward on mobile

His vision was the first thing activating whenever he booted back up. Pathfinder recognized his living room. He was lying in his bed, turned on his left side and watching the clock on his nightstand tick.

He had slept for 6 hours 23 minutes and 13 seconds. Strange. He usually made sure to power down for at least 8 hours to make sure his processors had enough time to do their stuff. Memories had to be sorted, new data stored, diagnostics run and stray errors fixed. Sleep was an important part of life to keep functioning! He wouldn’t miss out on sleep like that. Something must have woken him.

Step by step he booted up his sensors, starting at his hearing and ending at his dulled sense of touch. It all happened fast, within split seconds.

He registered arms being wrapped around his waist. Revenant was with him, hugging him from behind. Soft groans were escaping him as he slowly grinded his hips against the robot in his arms. Oh.

“Good morning, Revenant!” Pathfinder greeted him, voice way too upbeat for someone who just woke up. “Are you aroused?”

Revenant immediately halted any movement. “…ugh. Way to kill the mood.”

“Sorry, I did not mean to.”

They laid in silence for a while. Revenant was carefully dragging his hands along the structures at Pathfinder’s stomach, trying to make sense of their function. The MRVN was very much enjoying this attention. This was a nice thing to wake up to.

Curious hands wandered lower and lower, until they slipped between his legs. Pathfinder didn’t seem to mind, but he didn’t respond either. He… just didn’t react. It didn’t make a difference where he was stroking him at all.

“Do you actually feel anything?” Revenant asked.

“Yes! I feel tingly right now!” was Pathfinder’s enthusiastic reply.

“No, I mean sexually. Unless that’s what you meant.”

“Ah, no. I don’t think I do from how people describe it.”

“That sucks.”

What did he expect? He was a MRVN. Of course he wasn’t built for this shit. He didn’t have a human brain to draw placebo effects from either. It didn’t really surprise Revenant, but he was still disappointed.

Pathfinder pushed himself towards his right side to face Revenant easier. “I’m still glad to have sex with you.”

“Nah.” His hands had returned to his waist and just rested there. “Watching your partner’s reactions is half the fun.”

Hearts blinked up on Pathfinder’s screen. “We are partners? Does that make us a couple?”

“I- We…”

Were they? He couldn’t blame him for thinking that. They sure were doing couple shit. But it still felt wrong to think of them as that. Romance was such a worthless, human concept based on naiveté. The only reason he hung onto the MRVN was because he was of use to him. There wasn’t physical attraction either, obviously. This was a blocky robot after all. He didn’t even have a goddamn face. All this cuddling wasn’t for cuddling’s sake, but to make himself feel slightly better.

But was there a difference?

Pathfinder was shifting, turning on his right side to completely face the simulacrum. He put his hand on Revenant’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb, running it down the red streak painted beneath his eye. “I’m proud of you.”

He had caught him off guard again. Revenant’s eyes would widen if they could, a strange heat blooming in his chest. Why did these words have such an effect on him?

“You did well yesterday”, Pathfinder continued. “You were being honest. I think my friends are less worried now. And we had a lot of fun too!”

Yes, that one rematch turned into a bunch of rounds. It was entertaining enough. They didn’t stop asking questions, but the accusatory tone had died down. It appeared to be plain curiosity and he wasn’t pushed to humor them. Pathfinder jumped in more often than not, happy to tell them of their misadventures.

He didn’t like the skin suits and they sure as hell didn’t like him. But there seemed to be some form of unspoken truce. It wasn’t trust or forgiveness on any side, but less aggression and maybe a hint of understanding. They all wanted the same thing after all: Pathfinder to be safe.

Interesting how the scout managed to gain the support of everyone. What was it about him?

It got late in the end. Revenant didn’t feel like going back to his apartment. Instead he followed Pathfinder home. The MRVN didn’t question that. In fact he was elated! He finally had his romantic stroll under the night sky. And since Revenant was in a better mood he even dared to reach for his hand. The simulacrum did seem to be taken aback for a moment, but accepted it. It didn’t escape Pathfinder how he gave him light squeezes from time to time and rubbed his thumb on the back of his hand.

They didn’t speak, but there was no need to. They were both rather tired too. There were no further questions, neither during the walk nor when Revenant slipped into his bed with him.

And here they were. Waking up together again.

Pathfinder gently bumped his head against Revenant’s forehead. “I love you.”

Revenant hesitated for just a moment before placing a hand behind Pathfinder’s neck, massaging it. It wasn’t soft, the fabric covering it pretty tough. But it was the only part of the MRVN’s body with and sort of give. He could feel the anatomy beneath. Joints and hydraulics, as well as wires and pipes. It was such a vulnerable spot. He could easily kill him by digging his weaponized fingers in. Yet Pathfinder trusted him. He knew he wouldn’t do that.

He had told Pathfinder he loved him before. It was in the spur of the moment when he was in an instable state. But did that make it more or less genuine?

His stance hadn’t changed. He still wanted to protect him with whatever he got. But did he want him happy because he was of use to him? Because he stabilized him? Or did he want him happy because he did love him in some way? Or did he just love the peace he brought over his mind? Was it several of these reasons? All of them? Where was the line? Did it matter?

He recognized he didn’t remember what love was. Maybe it had been too long. Or maybe it got broken with his code. He wondered if he could relearn it.

What a weird thought. His life goal was to die, and possibly have vengeance along the way. And here he was, a defective murder machine, wondering whether or not he was in love with a fucking MRVN.

Either way, it was probably the closest thing to love he could experience right now.

“…love you too.”

Excited beeps rushed out of Pathfinder’s frame, his display burning in a bright pink. He quickly pulled Revenant into a tight hug. Maybe a bit too tight.

Struggling, Revenant tried to push him off. “Calm down! You’re crushing me!”

Pathfinder eased off. “Oh, sorry!”

The simulacrum palmed playfully at the MRVNs face. “Idiot…” He hummed, feeling like this was the point where he should get up. “Do you have a bathroom?”

“I do”, Pathfinder replied. “I can show it to you!”

He jumped out of bed before jogging to the door. There he turned around, calling for the robot still lying around. “Are you coming?”

Throwing the sheets off Revenant crawled out of the bed. “Yeah, yeah…”

He shuffled behind Pathfinder down several hallways. At the end Pathfinder pointed at one of the many doors around. “This is the bathroom! I’ll go ahead. You can find me in the garden once you are ready.”

And with that he bounced away.

Revenant pushed down the handle to step into the bath. It was surprisingly roomy and clean enough. It even had a shower and sizable bathtub for some reason. Why would a warehouse need that?

Approaching the sink he pulled down his hood to throw some water in his face, as he always did.

He looked into the mirror, inspecting his skeletal features. The grimace of his nightmares. Pathfinder had told him he found him beautiful. He was fucking insane. What the hell did he see in him?

Revenant still didn’t know what Pathfinder got out of this. He wasn’t the only goddamn robot in the Outlands. There must have been someone else willing to get into a relationship with a talking MRVN. Someone who didn’t need months of convincing to show the most basic signs of affection. Pathfinder went through weeks of threats, stress and injury for what? To hold hands with a suicidal crime against nature?

Maybe he got off on the idea of being a savior to him. To be the one teaching love to a monster. Weirdo.

Huffing, Revenant tossed his scarf back on his head and headed for the outside.

He found Pathfinder in the garden, as expected. He was gathering a bunch of tools, including shovels, scissors and a watering can. The scout waved at Revenant as soon as he saw him. “There you are! Let’s do some gardening! It needs some clean up. You can start by picking the weeds.” He gestured for Revenant to come closer. “Here, I’ll show it to you.”

Revenant squatted down next to the kneeling Pathfinder, who was pointing at some generic leafy thing. “These are Spotworts. They are an invasive species and spread very fast. They need to be plucked. But!” He pointed at another generic leafy thing. “Don’t confuse them with Common Bumpweeds! These are great food for caterpillars.”

“They look the same”, Revenant noted.

“Oh, no! They are quite different.” He lifted the leafs to call attention to the underside of them. “The vascular bundles of the Spotworts are significantly more brachiated than of the Bumpweeds. Do you think you can do it?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Wonderful!” Pathfinder stood up, clasping his hands together. “I’ll do the trimming in the meantime!”

And with that he ushered away.

Revenant took another look at the weeds. They still looked the fucking same. He pulled out the one Pathfinder showed him to be the bad one. It was surprisingly tough, its roots drilled into the ground. He pulled clumps of earth with it, staining his hands. Then he pulled the good one. It gave no resistance whatsoever, as if asking to be removed. Huh. How dumb that this one was the one he was supposed to keep.

He looked at the underside of both of them, trying to find the difference. One seemed to have more of those veiny strands running on its leafs. It was a miniscule detail and he couldn’t bring himself to check every single weed covering the ground for this.

He decided to dig out all of them and sort them by their root strength. They were easier to separate that way. He’d replant the ones which were easy to pull out. That should work. The end result would be the same.

Digging into the earth he tore out the plants. Dirt was raining on him as he tossed them behind his back. It was kind of fun. It felt destructive. Destruction was always a good time.

Bugs would scatter away from time to time with their homes lifted in the air. Revenant had the automatic urge to squash them, but managed to resist. Pathfinder seemed to like them.

Throwing himself into it he worked through the patch in record time. Some flowers were caught in his claws, but whatever. He could replant those too. In the end the plot looked like a battlefield. It might as well have been dug through by a dog. 

Well, fun times were over. He needed to get to the repair part.

Revenant turned around and found his leafy victims not in two neat stacks, but all over the place. He got so lost in the mayhem that he got careless with the sorting. Now there was no way to tell which was which. Fuck.

He groaned, slapping his hands in his face. This shit would take twice as long now. He felt like abandoning this but he didn’t want to… disappoint Pathfinder.

“Marvin!”

Pathfinder peeked from behind a bush, scissors in his hands. “Yes, love? Oh, my!”

He hurried over to Revenant, putting his hands on his would-be cheeks in a shocked manner. “What happened here?”

“I wanted to dig out all the weeds and replant the ones you wanted to keep. But I fucked up and can’t tell them apart anymore. I need your help sorting them.”

“Oh, okay! We can do that. I’m sure we can fix this together.”

He knelt down, getting straight to work. Revenant joined him. It was during this monotone and boring work that Revenant’s mind started to wander. It finally hit him what Pathfinder had called him. ‘Love.’ A pet name.

He glanced at the MRVN, who was efficiently assorting the greens, not to be distracted.

Revenant didn’t know how to feel about this. On one hand it was sappy, pathetic, ridiculous, stupid. So sweet he wanted to vomit.

But again he didn’t want to accuse Pathfinder of any wrongdoing. He did what he felt was right. To him they were a couple. And couples gave each other pet names. He was showing affection. That was all.

It was uncomfortable. Revenant didn’t know if he would get used to it. At least Pathfinder didn’t pick something more embarrassing like ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’. Ugh. The thought alone made him cringe.

With Pathfinder’s expertise they worked through the pile in no time. “We did it!” He clapped his hands in excitement. “Well done us! I’ll get the shovels so we can plant them.”

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s faster if I dig ‘em.” Revenant demonstrated his abilities by literally stabbing the ground. He grabbed the appropriate herb and pushed it into the hole he had created. Then he shoved some dirt back around it, smoothing it out a bit.

This seemed good enough for Pathfinder. “Okay then! I’ll go back to trimming if that’s alright with you. I haven’t finished my work yet.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, just call for me if you need me!” He bounced away.

Revenant ploughed through the patch, undoing the destruction he had caused. You couldn’t say he did a good job. But the plants were back where they belonged at least. And they would live. Probably.

Satisfied, Revenant walked up to Pathfinder. “I’m done with the weeds.”

The scout was gently cutting back the bushes, making sure to not take off too much. “Awesome! You can continue with the other plot then.”

“What other plot?”

“It’s around the corner to the right.” He pointed in its general direction. “Those Spotworts have spread quite a lot!”

Revenant shambled to look for said patch. He found it. It was overrun with those leafy bitches and thrice the size of that other plot.

He slumped down. He would stare at it in resignation for at least five minutes before forcing himself to get back to pulling.

\----------------

Revenant grabbed one of the towels hanging on the wall. He ran it over his body to evict the most offensive dirt crumbs stuck on him.

It had gotten late. They had been working in the garden for the whole day. It was exhausting. But the result was a neat place of greenery still wild enough to not scare off the resident critters.

Pathfinder was with him in the bathroom. He was almost done cleaning himself, not being that dirty in the first place. But he still made sure to keep himself in pristine condition.

Tossing the towel away Revenant turned to leave.

“Where are you going, love?” Pathfinder asked. “Aren’t you going to clean yourself?”

Revenant stopped at the door, hand on the handle. “I… wait, what? I just did.”

“But you are still dirty.”

“It doesn’t matter. I got spare bodies. Who cares about this one?”

Pathfinder jumped up. “I do! And you should too! You are inside that body right now!”

He hopped over to the simulacrum. Picking at his elbow he made dark dust rain. “Look here. This can’t be good for your joints.” He took his hands into his. “I can let in a hot bath for you! I’m sure you will feel better afterwards!”

He didn’t wait for confirmation, instead jogging towards the bathtub right away to let the faucet run. He also grabbed a bottle and chugged in some blue colored gel. Could have been shampoo or something. Why did he have that?

Not in the mood to argue Revenant approached the bathtub, taking a seat on the side. He noted a sweet smell radiating from the water, artificial and cheap. It probably resulted from that shampoo soap stuff.

Meanwhile Pathfinder had grabbed his rag again, back to polishing his chassis.

Pulling his hand through the water Revenant watched the grime swirl from it. Damn, he was covered in it. A good wash probably wasn’t too bad of an idea.

Also the water was hot. Really hot. Not interested in a lava bath he adjusted the faucet to cool the water slightly.

“Sorry, I did not mean to make it too hot”, Pathfinder said.

“It’s fine. I fixed it.”

It took a while for the tub to fill up. Once it did Revenant got ready to get in. He hesitated, realizing he should probably take his clothes off.

This was weird. He wasn’t clothed in the first place really. That torn loincloth had no practical function whatsoever. Pathfinder wouldn’t care. He himself was literally naked. They were robots. There was nothing to hide.

He still felt odd, but went on to remove his scarf. He let it drop to the ground, followed by his pouches. Not wanting to think about it too much he quickly unclasped his loin cloth, also letting it drop.

He had lived with the knowledge that he was no longer human for almost 30 years now. But seeing his flat pelvis was still disturbing. An intimate reminder how violated his humanity was.

He fled into the tub, letting himself sink into the water. It was still hot, but pleasantly so. This didn’t feel bad at all. He allowed himself to sigh in content.

Pathfinder appeared next to the tub, handing him a clean rag. “Here you go! You forgot to take one.”

Revenant accepted it. “Right…”

He dumped it in the water to wet it. He then started at his arms, dragging the cloth along them. The water was quickly turning darker. Damn, there was a lot more muck than he thought.

Pathfinder was watching him. It was weird as hell and made the simulacrum feel… exposed.

“Are you just gonna stare or what?” Revenant asked, his tone annoyed.

The MRVN perked up, looking as if he had woken up from a daydream. “Oh, sorry! I’ll help you!”

He quickly reached for a sponge and pushed it under water before running it on Revenant’s back.

Revenant’s fake breath hitched. He wanted to tell Pathfinder that this was not what he meant but… this felt nice. Pathfinder was gentle, the sponge soft. It was like a massage. It was pleasant, not something he was used to. He barely took care of himself. He didn’t see any point in it. So to have someone else not only pushing him to do it but also joining in the care of his body… It was strange. But comforting.

“Did you have fun in the garden today?” Pathfinder asked.

Revenant thought about it. The planting part was shit but “The pulling and stabbing was fun I guess.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself!”

The MRVN continued down Revenant’s spine, working to remove anything stuck between the plates. This was just one of countless bodies he had at his disposal. But Pathfinder was concerned to have it in a good condition. Just to make sure the ghost stuck inside it was as comfortable as possible. He really cared about him.

The scout suddenly halted, his hands lingering on his back.

Revenant turned slightly to glance at him. “What is it?”

This woke Pathfinder from yet another daydream. “Pardon? Oh, I was just looking. The designs and details on your body are so pretty.”

Revenant quickly dropped eye contact, returning to dig the mud out of his inner thighs. How could anyone find this atrocity of a body ‘pretty’? Its sight was meant to terrorize everyone unfortunate to be present around it. Yet Pathfinder saw beauty in it. And he wasn’t afraid to express that.

The simulacrum could not accept that. Rather, it felt more wrong each time he complimented him. It did not help that he was naked in a bathtub, the crime of his existence laid bare. This body was a cage he was tossed back into every time he tried to escape, the logo of his torturers plastered upon it.

Wanting to finish this up as soon as possible Revenant intensified the scouring. Fixated, he scraped at his chassis, removing both dirt and bits of paint. The metal collected a bunch of new scratches.

Once he was sufficiently clean he jumped out of the tub, not speaking a single word to Pathfinder. Grabbing a new towel he went to dry himself off, starting at his head.

Pathfinder wasn’t deterred in the slightest. Eager to assist him he also grabbed a towel, rubbing it on Revenant’s torso. Revenant was still queasy, but was willing to accept anything speeding up the process. The sooner he got out of this situation the better.

The towel wandered lower down his waist before reaching his hips. Before Revenant registered where this was going Pathfinder was already at crotch level. The MRVN did not think about the implications when he pushed it between his legs.

Revenant choked on a yelp, grasping Pathfinder’s wrist to yank it away. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

Pathfinder’s gaze wandered between Revenant’s face and the rag in his hand. “I am helping you dry off.”

Was he messing with him!? Or was he really that damn naive!?

“Don’t go between my legs, dumbass!” He let go of Pathfinder in a rough manner, throwing his hand away from him. “Not until you grow a cunt I can fuck!”

He didn’t care that his legs were still wet. He turned around swiftly to dress himself in those pathetic shreds of fabric meant to represent clothing.

Pathfinder was bewildered about that sudden and crass exclaim. It took him a moment to understand what he was talking about. He slapped his hands over his face. “Oh, no! I’m so sorry! I did not mean to make you uncomfortable.”

He apologized a lot today. He always did when interacting with Revenant, shoving one foot after another in the mouth he didn’t have. He was doing his best, as always. But Revenant was so hard to read and set off so easily.

Revenant knew he meant well. The scout tried to accommodate to all the little things he complained about as well as his air-filled head made it possible. He was dancing on a field of land mines. Some were hidden well, others were more obvious and yet others were moving underneath the earth. But he stepped in every single one all the same.

“It’s fine…” Revenant finished up, adjusting his cowl. “I’m going home.”

“Are you not staying, love? I thought you have moved in.”

“Moved in?!” Revenant sputtered, turning back towards Pathfinder. “Slow down, for fuck’s sake! We barely-“

He took a deep, fake breath. This was too fast, too much. The pet names, the compliments, the touching, the sweet talk, the domesticity, the sexual frustration. The responsibility and simultaneous inability to return the affection on the same level.

“I need some time alone”, Revenant said. “I’ll message you later.”

“Oh… okay then.”

With that Revenant left the bathroom. He left the warehouse. And he left Pathfinder for a lonely night.


	16. Of Speaking And Listening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for a lizard getting tortured
> 
> chapter 6 has been updated with illustrations

Bits of red paint were raining on the carpet. Revenant was picking at his arms. He wasn’t fully aware of it, lost in his thoughts.  
  
He had grown restless again, not sure what to do with himself. He had been out hunting this morning, but was unable to focus. It ended up being an aimless stroll. He didn’t even come across any humans. All he managed to grab was a sluggish lizard. It struggled nicely as he peeled off its skin, but it didn’t scream. The initial satisfaction wore off quickly and he was back at square one.  
  
He had returned to his apartment, placed himself in his couch and just sat there. He was out of material for drinks. There was nothing to do but watch his phone blink.  
  
Pathfinder had been messaging him non-stop. Several times a day.  
  
  
_Hello, Revenant. How are you doing?  
  
Are you okay, love?  
  
Hey there! Are you feeling better?  
_  
  
The simulacrum jumped out of the couch to pace loops through the room. Compulsions were crawling over him again. He wanted to seek out Pathfinder, but the scout was overbearing. Stressing him out. Yet Revenant couldn’t take time off because being with Pathfinder was his time off. Fuck.  
  
He slumped back into his seat, reaching for his phone. He checked the new message. It was from Pathfinder again, as expected. This one seemed different though. It was longer than the other ones.  
  
_  
Hello Revenant.  
  
I wanted to sincerely apologize for overstepping your boundaries. I am so sorry I made you feel worse. That is the last thing I want for you. I want you to be happy and feel better. I want you to feel loved. I want you to know how important you are to me. And I want you to know how beautiful you are.  
  
I know that you need some time alone. It’s okay if you don’t respond to my messages. But can you maybe just tell me if you are okay? I am very worried. I am very scared that you might hurt yourself again. Please do not hurt yourself. Please do not leave me.  
  
I am very sorry.  
_  
  
Revenant put his head in his hand. He noticed the scraped off paint on the floor out of the corner of his eye. Guess he couldn’t follow up on that ‘not hurting’ request.  
  
He stared back at the screen, reading the message a bunch of times. Then just stared again.  
  
What the fuck even was this?  
  
This wasn’t an apology. Pathfinder was saying the very same things that had set Revenant off in the first place. The MRVN had no clue what he did wrong. This was a message of desperation. He actually sounded somewhat panicked in this. It wasn’t something Revenant expected from him.  
  
But here was the thing: He shouldn’t feel like he had to apologize in the first place. All he did was… giving him love. Outright showering him in it. It wasn’t bad. It was just too much. It was like devouring a whole buffet after months of starvation. With your stomach not used to it, overeating will just make you throw it all back up.  
  
Pathfinder had no way of knowing that. He was an ignorant dumbass. He couldn’t learn where the line was because Revenant wasn’t telling him. He wasn’t communicating at all. Hell, he was struggling to even speak in any tone that wasn’t condescending.  
  
Why was this shit so complicated? Pathfinder was as simple as it gets. No, this was on Revenant. His fault. All he had to do was fucking talk.  
  
Pathfinder deserved better than this. He had fought so much and still had to struggle as Revenant made sure to sabotage all his work. The simulacrum was scattering sand into his music box and then wondered why it wasn’t playing properly.  
  
He let out a groan. He needed to stop letting himself be babied. He couldn’t expect Pathfinder to read his mind. He finally had to step the fuck up.  
  
He needed to start giving back.  
  
\----------------  
  
It was a lively night at the Paradise Lounge. Guests from all over Solace City enjoyed drinks, food and conversation, letting themselves loose. It was pretty loud in the room but Pathfinder still managed to draw quite some attention towards him as he stormed through the door.  
  
The robot hurried towards the counter to look for his best friend. “Elliott! Elliott, I need your help!”  
  
The bartender took notice right away, dropping whatever conversation he had with one of his costumers to meet him at the counter. “Hey, buddy! Are you okay? What’s going on?”  
  
Pathfinder didn’t know what to do with his hands, nervously running them on his face, his arms, his chest. “I’m so scared, friend! I don’t know what to do!”  
  
Mirage had never seen him this hysterical before. His screen was rapidly jumping between a bunch of emojis, but was dominated by the sad one. Even his speech was hectic. It was very rare for Pathfinder to change his tone. This was bad. Shit, had Revenant changed his mind? Was he after him?  
  
The trickster placed his hand on Pathfinder’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s okay! It’s fine, we’ll get through this!” He pointed to the back of the bar. “Let’s talk in the back room, okay?”  
  
Together they ushered away to the back room, which was quieter and out of the public’s eye. Mirage barely closed the door behind them when Pathfinder started babbling again. “Elliott, I messed up! I did bad and I’m not sure if it can be fixed! I don’t know what to do!”  
  
Mirage grabbed the MRVN's shoulders in an attempt to soothe him. “Okay, okay, deep breaths- actually, never mind that. Just try to calm down a bit, okay? We’re safe here. Tell me what’s going on.”  
  
Pathfinder stilled for a few moments before speaking up again, but he seemed just as nervous as before. “I kept on making Revenant uncomfortable and I think he has had enough. He hasn’t responded to my messages in days! What if he never speaks to me again?”  
  
Needing a few seconds to process this Mirage squinted at Pathfinder with his jaw dropped. “Oh.” He leaned back, letting his hands drop.  
  
Pathfinder was panicking about relationship drama? Mirage didn’t want to downplay the situation, but he allowed himself to relax a bit. This seemed manageable. At least more manageable than murder threats from the murder bot, as he had been expecting.  
  
“Alright, okay. Let’s start from the beginning”, Mirage said. “What did you do to make him, uh, uncomfortable?”  
  
“I’m not sure.” Pathfinder twiddled his thumbs, looking at the floor. “I tried to be nice to him. Sometimes he liked it but sometimes he complained or yelled or became very quiet and stopped talking completely. He looked unhappy then.”  
  
“Uh huh, uh huh. I understand.“ Mirage didn’t understand anything. He had no clue whether Pathfinder’s lack of social tactfulness was an issue or if Revenant was just being Revenant. Where to even begin? “What did he, uhm, say to you last time you saw him?”  
  
“He said he needed some time alone. And that he would message me. But he hasn’t messaged me.” He looked back up. “What if he leaves me too?”  
  
Leaves him too? Oh! Mirage was beginning to get a grasp of the situation. This was about Ash. Dang, Mirage thought he was over that, but that experience had apparently left some scars. She had abandoned Pathfinder back then, breaking his heart. He was absolutely devastated for a long while. And now he was terrified that his new love might dump him as well.  
  
“Aight, buddy. Let’s not panic”, Mirage suggested. “I know you’re all scared that he’ll leave you like Ash did. But she told you she was leaving. Revenant just said he needed some time alone. That’s different. How long has it been anyway?”  
  
“Two days.”  
  
“Just two days?” Mirage sputtered. “That’s basically nothing! Have some pate- patience, man. You know how weird he is.”  
  
“I know.” Pathfinder took a seat on one of the stools. “But I have written so many messages and he hasn’t responded to any of them.”  
  
The trickster sighed, also taking a seat and reaching for whiskey and a glass. He would need that. “Of course he didn’t. C’mon, Path, you should know not to spam someone if they want to be alone.”  
  
This must have been the strangest of timelines. Dang it, Mirage wasn’t even good at this relationship thing. How should he give dating advice to a goddamn robot and his perturbed assassin crush? Hell, he didn’t want them together in the first place. But he was already in neck deep. And boy did he want neither another heartbroken Pathfinder, nor a newly unhinged Revenant.  
  
“I am just so worried”, Pathfinder justified himself. “It was going so well. He had moved in with me and-“  
  
“Hang on”, Mirage interrupted him. “Did he actually? Did he say he moved in?”  
  
“I…” Pathfinder paused. “He slept at my place. We did some work in the garden together. And he took a bath there.”  
  
Revenant helped with gardening? Wha- no, wait, that didn’t matter right now. “So he didn’t say that”, Mirage concluded. “You can sleep over and maybe help with work without having moved in, y’know.”  
  
This didn’t sound right to the MRVN. “But we are a couple. And couples move in together. Isn’t that how that works?”  
  
“It’s not that simple, Path”, Mirage continued, taking another sip of his whiskey. “You dragged Ash home and immediately thought she was your girlfriend. And you know how that ended. You can live together without dating, buddy. Roommates are a thing, y’know? Ramya is living with me after all. And you can be dating without living together too.”  
  
“Ramya is not your girlfriend?” Pathfinder asked, genuinely confused.  
  
Mirage choked on his drink, taking a few coughs to clean out his airways. “What?! What, no! That’s beside the point anyway! Listen, what I’m trying to say is-, is, y’know, that you need to stop assuming what people want and listen! Say, what did Revenant actually tell you?”  
  
Placing his hand on his chin Pathfinder thought back. But there was not much to remember. “He didn’t say much. He didn’t say he was having a sleep over. Thinking of it…” Realization hit him, making his metaphorical heart sink. “I asked him if we are a couple. But he didn’t even reply to that. I don’t know what he really thinks.”  
  
“Yeah… I’m not surprised”, Mirage admitted. “I’d be more surprised if he was, like, open about anything. He isn’t exactly a prime example of social skills. Don’t get me wrong: This whole thing isn’t all on you. He’s the worst, most messed up person you could have picked, honestly. He’d probably be weird and shitty even if you did everything perfectly right.”  
  
“He is hard to understand”, the scout agreed.  
  
“Right.” With his glass already emptied Mirage reached for the bottle to pour himself another one. “So, was there anything, like anything, he was clear about?”  
  
“He…” Pathfinder recalled the events of that day again. “He told me he loved me. He said he had fun in the garden. He told me not to go between his legs. And he told me to slow down.”  
  
The trickster almost spat his drink out, but caught himself this time. “Fuck- fucking hell, Path!” There was a lot to unpack here, more than he wanted to know. But he should have expected that when asking for it. “Okay, first thing: I can’t believe he said that. But I know you don’t lie so… weird, but good for you I guess. I don’t think he’ll leave you just like that.”  
  
“You think?” For the first time in days Pathfinder was feeling hopeful again.  
  
“Yeah, I do.” Mirage genuinely did. “With all the weird stuff he’s done I think he’s obsessed with you, like Renee said. Getting rid of him is probably more difficult at this point.” He ran his hand through his hair, feeling the alcohol hitting him slowly. “Second thing: Also weird, but also good. I’m not gonna consider what the hell you did for the third thing and I really don’t wanna know. The last thing: I think you got your answer there.”  
  
“To slow down?”  
  
“Yeah. You probably rushed stuff and that’s why he wants to be alone now. All you gotta do is listen, buddy. He also needs to get his shit in order, but I don’t think we can expect that from him any time soon. Either way: Stop messaging him and wait. Give this time.”  
  
“Give him time…” Pathfinder nodded in understanding, more enthusiastic by the second before he jumped out of his seat in euphoria. “Yes! I think you are right! I need to slow down!”  
  
He reached around Mirage and pulled him up into a hug. “Thank you so much, best friend! You helped me a lot!”  
  
Mirage struggled to breathe, gasping in this crushing embrace of gratefulness. “Yea- Yeah, no problem, buddy. You can let go now.”  
  
Pathfinder dropped him, skipping to the exit and turning around to wave goodbye. “See you later, Elliott! Thank you again!”  
  
And with that he disappeared out the door.  
  
Mirage stayed in the back room for a bit, downing the rest of his glass. He felt like he did a mental marathon just now, his mind mush. While doing his best he had no clue if whatever he had told Pathfinder made any sense. But there probably wasn’t much sense to find in the first place.


	17. Repairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 7 has been updated with illustrations
> 
> oh and some of you found me on my twitter cause i went tiny brain and posted some art of this fic. not sure why i did that. either way i appreciate all your kind words
> 
> EDIT hagsjhsgah i posted this at 2 am and completely forgot to ackknowledge that this passed 2000 hits and 200 kudos. U guys are insane aggdghagsg thank you so much

No new messages. While Pathfinder did stop writing to Revenant, he still made sure to check his phone at least once every hour, anxious for him to finally reply. It had been 5 days since they last saw each other. Surely the simulacrum would message him any second now.  
  
Pathfinder kept his anxiety in check by searching out his friends when it got too bad. He was lucky to have such wonderful friends glad to help him! Rampart helped him distract his mind by having some fun at the shooting range, Wraith helped him stay busy by letting him help with house work and Mirage eased his mind by listening and talking. They all supported and calmed him, agreeing that he should wait. Pathfinder didn’t know that most of them secretly hoped that Revenant would never message him again and leave him alone.  
  
Right now he was at home, reading through this month’s magazines on the Apex Games. One particular article caught his eye. It was about the game they had won recently, pictures of Rampart, Revenant and him printed in it. These would definitely go into his happy room later!  
  
He skimmed over the writings. Revenant’s strange choice to mix up the teams seemed to be the main topic. Several writers and commentators speculated on his reasoning.  
  
His phone ringing stopped him from looking further into the details, making him scramble for the device as if his life depended on it. He checked his messages and- YES! Yes, it was from Revenant! What a wonderful day!  
  
_come outside_  
  
Not to waste any time Pathfinder outright sprinted out the living room. He rushed through the halls towards the main entrance. Blasting through the door he bumped into Revenant on the other side.  
  
Dazed he took a brief moment to catch himself. And there he saw him: Revenant, in all his powerful presence. He had returned to him! “Revenant! I am so glad to see you- Oh?”  
  
Revenant didn’t come empty handed. He was holding a potted plant. It was around 3 feet tall, blooming with flowers as big as dinner plates. Each one was colored in a light yellow with a white center.  
  
“You brought a flower!” Pathfinder chimed, clasping his hands together in delight.  
  
Like an unwanted child Revenant pushed the small shrub into the MRVN’s chest. “Take it.”  
  
Pathfinder’s gaze wandered between Revenant and the flower in his hands. “It’s for me?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
A gift from Revenant? And such a wonderful one at that! Pathfinder stared at it for longer than necessary, analyzing its structures and colors. “Wow, I have never seen one like this before!”  
  
“It’s ‘cause it smells like shit and no one wants to keep that.” Revenant crossed his arms. “But you can’t smell so it shouldn’t bother you.”  
  
Pathfinder picked up eye contact, hearts beaming on his screen. “It is beautiful. Thank you, my love.”  
  
“…you’re welcome.”  
  
“Now where do I put it?” Pathfinder wondered. “I don’t think there is enough natural light inside for a flower like this.”  
  
“Nah, it’s fine”, Revenant responded. “This one doesn’t need much light. You can keep it inside, just water it.”  
  
Wow, he really had thought of everything! He must have put a lot of thought into this present. Not only had he returned to Pathfinder, but also brought this sign of affection to prove his devotion. Pathfinder felt so loved. He had to pick a very special spot for it! “I know where to put it. Do you want to come with me?”  
  
Revenant shrugged. “Sure.”  
  
With bouncy steps Pathfinder led him to his happy room. While its walls were fully covered the room itself was rather empty. More than enough space for a pretty plant to thrive! The MRVN put the pot down next to Revenant’s corner on the wall. He put his fists on his hips, content in his decoration skills. This detail made everything look so much livelier! Thinking of it, he should probably make this room homier in general. Maybe place down some seats for more comfort.  
  
Meanwhile Revenant walked up to the wall to rip one of the lists off. It was the ‘Things Revenant might like’ list. He grabbed a marker, giving a quick glance over the sheet before checking off one of the points.  
  
Pathfinder tried to get a peek but Revenant had already stashed it away into a pouch.  
  
“Why are you crossing things off the list?” The scout asked.  
  
Revenant had turned to leave, already on the way out. “’Cause we’re doing these things today.”  
  
“Oh! What is it we are doing?” Pathfinder skipped after him.  
  
“You're gonna see.”  
  
“It’s a surprise? Exciting!”  
  
Exciting it was indeed. Pathfinder was practically vibrating in euphoria during their walk towards Solace City. He was fixated on Revenant’s hand, wanting to grab it. Actually he wanted to hang onto his arm! They hadn’t seen each other for what felt like an eternity and now he wanted to make up for all the contact he had missed. But he did not forget what Mirage had told him. He needed to slow down. He didn’t want to scare off his love again.  
  
Looking at Revenant’s arm he noticed a bunch of scratches. Red paint was missing in streaks, unveiling the dark metal underneath. “What happened to your arm, love?”  
  
Revenant flinched, throwing a brief look over his limb. He had completely forgotten about that. “Oh, that. I was picking at ‘em.”  
  
Oh. Oh no… It had happened again. Pathfinder felt his heart sink. “Why did you do that?”  
  
“I’m not sure”, Revenant replied. “I didn’t realize I was doing it.”  
  
The MRVN hummed in thought. “I think we should repaint it.”  
  
Agh, Pathfinder… always attempting to repair the unfixable. Why should Revenant restore a body which would be replaced sooner or later anyway? But he had some strange weight in his gut. Pathfinder worried about him. He had asked him not to hurt himself. But Revenant did. He had disappointed him. Might as well fix the damage if it would make Pathfinder feel better. “Yeah, I should do that.”  
  
Pathfinder seemed happy with that reply, a smiley on his screen.  
  
They reached the inner city. It was a busy day, streets filled with masses of people. However the robots had no issues making their way through them. Most folks easily recognized the ‘Synthetic Nightmare’ and hurried to flee out of his way. Even the few not well informed on the Apex Games knew not to get too close to a simulacrum with a terrifying design and aura like that.  
  
But as humans are, it did not stop them from gossiping. Revenant could hear them whisper.  
  
“That’s Revenant from the Apex Games! And Pathfinder too. What are they doing together?”  
  
“Oh my god, it’s Pathfinder! I love him! Dammit, I can’t ask for an autograph with Rev next to him.”  
  
“Aren’t those the robots? The Apex Legends? They look so much taller in real life.”  
  
“Oh fuck, it’s the murder bot! Oh god, oh god, don’t look his way!”  
  
Pathetic meat bags. Revenant made sure to throw out as many death stares as he could.  
  
Pathfinder was gleefully oblivious to any of this. He was mesmerized by the robot at his side, inhaling his sight, basking in his presence. He had missed him so much. He had missed his rumbling voice and how it warmed his core. He had missed his movements, silent and elegant. He had missed his piercing eyes, his form, his beauty.  
  
He reached for his hand but stopped himself at the last second. “Revenant?”  
  
Revenant turned around, pulled out of his mission to traumatize Solace City with his face. “Huh?”  
  
“Can I take your hand?”  
  
What? Why was he asking? He had never hesitated before.  
  
The simulacrum didn’t reply. Instead he simply grasped Pathfinder’s hand as an answer. Pathfinder seemed surprised, but the exclamation mark on his display was quickly replaced by bright, pink hearts.  
  
Revenant immediately forgot about their surroundings, all of his attention now turned towards Pathfinder, who was beaming in delight. What a strange little MRVN. All he needed was a hand holding his and he was straight over the moon. And for Revenant to be the one to do that… weird. He wasn’t meant for that. He was meant for destruction and terror. Yet here he was making someone… happy. Just like that.  
  
They continued their stroll to one of the inner city parks. This one wasn’t big, just a few green squares to break up the dead sterility of the metal buildings. A small lake laid in the center.  
  
Leading them to the water, Revenant took a seat in the grass right at the edge. Pathfinder followed suit, sitting down next to him. Waterfowl, with dark green and shimmering plumage, was cautiously approaching them. Revenant started digging in one of his pouches.  
  
“Is this a date?” Pathfinder asked, wanting to make sure they were on the same page this time.  
  
Revenant halted for a moment. “Yes.”  
  
Pathfinder shook in ecstatic joy. “So we are officially dating?”  
  
“Don’t know what else to call it.” Having found what he was looking for he pulled out a small bag and handed it to the scout.  
  
Pathfinder accepted it. “What is this?” He looked inside to find… “Are these peas?”  
  
“For the birds”, Revenant clarified.  
  
“Oh, how lovely!”  
  
The birds were already collecting around them, hoping for a nice treat. Pathfinder would not disappoint them. He took a hand full of peas and threw them in front of his feet. The animals hopped towards him right away, all caution gone, and feasted on this generous meal.  
  
“They love it!” Pathfinder chimed. “Oh, look at that one!”  
  
He pointed at one particular bird. Its typical green colors were interrupted by white splotches.  
  
“It has partial leucism!” The MRVN continued. “It’s so pretty!”  
  
“What’s that?” Revenant asked, not really interested but wanting to humor Pathfinder.  
  
“Leucism is when an organism is missing all pigment, turning them white in color. It can affect the whole body or parts of it. It’s different to albinism, which makes only one type of pigment missing. So the organism is usually more yellow in color, but always affected on its whole body.” Pathfinder tossed out another handful of feed, which the birds gladly accepted.  
  
“Does is harm ‘em?” Revenant asked.  
  
“Depends on the type. But usually it just looks funny.” He offered Revenant the bag. “You go too!”  
  
Revenant reached into the bag and half-heartedly let a bunch of peas drop in front of him. The birds made up for his lack of enthusiasm, storming for the food. They had no qualms jumping between his feet to pick up food there. Some of them even dared to climb up his legs, jumping over them, ignorant of his murderous nature. They were lucky that they made Pathfinder happy, so they would live another day.  
  
“They like you!” Pathfinder exclaimed.  
  
The simulacrum just grunted.  
  
“Oh!” Pathfinder seemed to suddenly remember something. “This would make a great photo! I promised Elliott to take some.” He produced a phone, holding it in front of him. “Say cheese!”  
  
“I can’t smile, idiot”, Revenant grumbled.  
  
CLICK! Pathfinder turned the phone around to present Revenant the result. “It turned out great!”  
  
It would look comical to anyone else. The immortal assassin semi-willingly surrounded by a bunch of birds.  
  
“We should take one together too!” Pathfinder leaned against Revenant’s chest, holding the phone in front of them for a selfie.  
  
Revenant flinched, but the moment was gone as soon as it had appeared. Pathfinder sat back up right after the photo was taken.  
  
“We look great together!” The MRVN said, cheerful as ever.  
  
A short yelp escaped him as Revenant reached around his shoulder, pulling him back to his chest.  
  
Pathfinder’s confusion cleared up quickly enough, allowing him to relax into his partner.  
  
There wasn’t much food left in the bag. Pathfinder turned it upside down to shake the rest out of it. With no bin nearby and not wanting to litter this nice place Pathfinder stuffed the empty bag away. His newly freed hands reached around Revenant’s waist, embracing him.  
  
Curiously Revenant placed his palm on Pathfinder’s screen. It was warm. Revenant knew he emitted warmth, he had him in his arms often enough to take notice. It made sense. There was a lot of active processing and machinery on the inside. After all even plain computers heated up while working. It was special in this case in that it supported the illusion of this being a live being.  
  
Revenant considered himself a walking dead man. He didn’t know how the source code thing worked exactly, but he could barely call himself alive like this. What would define someone as being alive anyway? Was it the brain activity? Would Revenant be alive in that case? Or was his brain just a storage unit of information, a transmitter, the processing done in whatever body he was stuck in that moment?  
  
And what about Pathfinder, who never had a brain in the first place? His behaviour was human-like, but yet distinctively different. His problem solving and learning processes were mechanical in nature. But on the other side he was also very emotional and empathetic, despite producing no hormones to explain such feelings. Was it all coding? Were electrical signals enough to create life? Or did Pathfinder develop beyond his programming? And what did all this mean for Revenant’s own existence?  
  
Like that they sat, Revenant thinking about the meaning of life while Pathfinder watched cute birds peck the ground. But only until there were no more peas left. It was then that the tiny dinosaurs were increasingly pecking at the robots, asking for more treats.  
  
“I think they want more food”, Pathfinder observed.  
  
“They’re not getting more”, Revenant growled. “Let’s go before I stomp them into paste.”  
  
\----------------  
  
‘Chucka Chucka Chucka!’  
  
The distinctive sounds of a spray can being shaken echoed between the buildings, shortly followed by the hissing of the can being used.  
  
Revenant had led Pathfinder to an abandoned part of Solace City. He didn’t care if people would see them, but he had no patience left to listen to their whispering. And he didn’t think Pathfinder would appreciate a bloodbath on this… date.  
  
Slowly he dragged a stream of black paint across a broken down wall. Painting was one of the suggestions on the list, but Revenant gave it his own twist. Graffiti had a destructive element to it he could enjoy, technically damaging the building. Not that it made much of a difference to these ruins.  
  
He preferred leaving his marks in actual damage, but he supposed wasting one afternoon with this wasn’t the worst thing.  
  
Having placed the last line Revenant took a step back to look at the result. He had attempted to spray a skull on the wall, detailed and gritty. But the proportions were off, making it look more like a sketchbook drawing by an edgy and depressed teenage boy.  
  
Pathfinder peeked over the simulacrum’s shoulder, examining his work. “Yours turned out great!”  
  
Revenant hummed in response, turning to look what Pathfinder had created in the meantime. He also had painted a skull. It was simple, clean. Somewhat charming but also childish. It had red details and-  
  
“Is that supposed to be me?”  
  
“Yes!” Pathfinder replied. “The red matches yours perfectly!”  
  
“Huh.”  
  
Pathfinder’s gaze wandered between the red spray can in his hand and Revenant, obviously thinking.  
  
“What?” Revenant asked.  
  
“I was just thinking.” Pathfinder read through the instructions on the can, trying to find out if his idea would work. “Maybe we can use this to cover up your scratches until you get a proper paint job.”  
  
Revenant was taken aback, though he wasn’t exactly opposed to this. It didn’t matter. He didn’t care. But if it would make Pathfinder happy…  
  
“Sure, I guess”, Revenant said, holding out one arm.  
  
“Awesome!” Pathfinder shook the can, hopping up closer.  
  
Carefully the MRVN sprayed lines of red color over Revenant’s upper arms. He made sure to cover up the white logo stripes as well to give it a clean look. Each layer sealed up more of the damage, healing it slowly.  
  
It took a while and you could still see dips and differences in texture were paint was missing before. But you wouldn’t be able to tell from a distance.  
  
“This looks a lot better”, Pathfinder chimed, happy about this makeshift band aid.  
  
Revenant inspected his limbs, pleasantly surprised by how well the paint covered the metal.  
  
He pulled the black can back out of the pouch he had stashed it in before, handing it to Pathfinder. “Here. Cover my hand plates.”  
  
This puzzled the scout. His hand plates weren’t damaged after all. But he took the can none the less. “Okay!”  
  
Holding out his hands palms down Revenant presented those cursed Hammond logos. Those repulsive signs marking him as their property.  
  
With great precision Pathfinder hid away the white lines, cautious not to get any black color on the red leather around the plates.  
  
In the end they were a solid black. Revenant scanned them closely. No traces of any ‘H’.  
  
“Is it good like that?” Pathfinder asked, hoping he did well enough.  
  
The simulacrum nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”  
  
Pathfinder’s heart skipped a beat. It was rare for Revenant to thank anyone. He must have been very happy about this little modification.  
  
The scout took his hands into his. “Please don’t hurt your body anymore. You hurt enough. You are beautiful and I love you.”  
  
Revenant tensed up, pulling his hands away.  
  
Pathfinder felt panic rise inside his chest. No, no, he had done it again!  
  
The sad face on his display didn’t go unnoticed. Dammit, this shit again… Fuck, this was the point where Revenant had to step up. He sighed, rubbing what little had remained of his nose bridge. “Listen. I know you mean well and all, but don’t call me _beautiful_ or anything like that.” He had forced the word ‘beautiful’ out of his voice box as if it had a sickeningly bitter taste to it.  
  
Pathfinder twiddled his fingers, nervous. “Why not?”  
  
Ugh, where to even begin? “’Cause there’s nothing beautiful about this!”  
  
The MRVN’s voice seemed so small. “But… I really think you are. I am not lying.”  
  
“But this isn’t me!” Revenant groaned. “It’s just a goddamn shell I’m stuck in!  
  
“But isn’t that what all bodies are?”  
  
Revenant sat down on a concrete block. “No. You leave your body at death. I just get thrown into another one. It’s a prison.”  
  
There it was again. That horrible burden on Pathfinder’s soul when Revenant talked about his own death. He remained silent, feeling helpless.  
  
“C’mere.” Revenant beckoned Pathfinder to sit down next to him.  
  
Pathfinder did, taking a seat and hugging his love. It was all the comfort he could offer.  
  
“I appreciate what you do, Marvin”, Revenant confessed. “Just don’t do this one thing. It drives me mad.”  
  
“Okay.” Pathfinder nodded. Anything to help even a little bit. Although… “Say, is there anything you would change about your body to make you like it more? You seemed quite happy about the black hand plates.”  
  
He chuckled. “Heh. Oh, there’s a ton I would change.”  
  
“You know, you could ask Ramya for some modifications”, Pathfinder suggested. “I’m sure she would be happy to do so, as well as give you a proper paint job!”  
  
The wrench girl? Ugh, loud mouthed and no respect to show. She had been exhausting enough at the poker night. She would take any opportunity to be a goddamn smartass. But he couldn’t deny the idea of mods to be compelling… something to regain a little bit of control over his life.  
  
“I’ll think about it.”


	18. Fear

Booting up. Pathfinder has had exactly 8 hours of sleep. He felt well rested. And loved.  
  
He found himself in Revenant’s arms again. They were in bed together, but it wasn’t his.  
  
Digging through his memory files he quickly recalled their date. It had been absolutely wonderful! They had so much fun and grew so, so much closer. Their bond was more intimate than anything Pathfinder had ever experienced before. It brought a sacred bliss with it.  
  
Revenant had even invited him to his apartment. He had never done that before. For his other visits Pathfinder had rather invited himself.  
  
His optic scanned Revenant’s face. There was no light in his eyes, suggesting he was still asleep.  
  
Oh, how blessed he was to be so close to him. With him. He knew how hesitant Revenant was to let anyone near. So for him to trust Pathfinder with his unconscious body, that was his language of love. Revenant wasn’t good with words. He proved his devotion by making himself vulnerable.  
  
Pathfinder didn’t want to ever let go, especially after experiencing what life was like without Revenant for the past few days. He wanted to lie with him until he would wake up, but he recalled Revenant being upset last time he found him watching him sleep.  
  
Gentle, he took the arms around him and placed them beside him. With that he carefully pushed himself away to sneak out of the sheets. Revenant didn’t stir, remaining in his deep slumber. He must have been quite tired after that eventful date of theirs.  
  
Maybe Pathfinder could prepare him a drink? That seemed like a good idea, it would be the closest thing to breakfast he could make him. He turned to leave the bedroom, throwing one more glance back over his partner. He looked so calm and peaceful. He wished he could find some of that while awake too.  
  
Sliding into the kitchen he searched the cabinets. He easily found a mug, but nothing else. Just where had Revenant stored the ingredients? He couldn’t make a drink without them. What a bummer.  
  
He pulled out his phone. Might as well check his notifications while waiting for Revenant to wake up.  
  
74 unread messages.  
  
\----------------  
  
Wraith raised an eyebrow. “I have to admit, that’s impressive. Even for you.”  
  
Mirage had just finished explaining the cuts and shoddy trim on his beard. He somehow had managed to drop his razor blades in the toilet, being forced to use a small kitchen knife instead. It was an entertaining enough story to pass some time on the drop ship.  
  
“I just can’t believe ya didn’t cut your neck and die”, Rampart said, wide grin stretching across her features.  
  
“And I can’t believe no one would lend me any razors!” Mirage didn’t find any of this funny, outraged at the circumstances. “Now I’ll have shoot people on camera looking like _this_!” He dramatically pointed at the accident that was his face.  
  
“Hello friends!” Beeped a chipper voice. Pathfinder bounced towards the trio, joining the conversation.  
  
“Hey Path.” Mirage’s greeting was rather unenthused. He was having a bad day.  
  
“Are you alright?” Pathfinder tilted his head. “You have cuts on your face.”  
  
“Ugh, I knooow.” The trickster let himself drop into the couch behind him.  
  
“Ay Path, where is your killer boyfriend?” Rampart asked.  
  
“I’m not sure.” The robot eyed the room. “I haven’t seen him board the ship.”  
  
“He’s here”, Wraith interjected. “He’s hidden in one of the dark corners.”  
  
She had something of a 6th sense when it came to things like that. Rampart believed her, but still wondered. “How can ya tell?”  
  
The seer shrugged. “Gut feeling. He always does that.”  
  
“Fair.” Her attention swayed back to the MRVN. “Has he messaged ya at all, Path?”  
  
“Oh, yes he has!” He clasped his hands together. “He even took me on another date!”  
  
Rampart’s jaw dropped. Her hands palmed her cheeks, theatrically overplayed. “No way!”  
  
“Yes way!” He tip toed on the spot. “It was just yesterday! He brought me flowers and took me to a park. We had a wonderful time!”  
  
“Flowers? Oh shit, that’s serious!” Rampart couldn’t wait to hear more juicy details. The idea of the murder machine wooing a MRVN with flowers and other romantic shit was too hilarious. “Ooh, ya gotta tell us everything! Love me some food for good ol’ fashioned gossip.”  
  
“Yes! We- ah.” His dancing stopped. “I can’t tell you everything. Revenant has asked me not to mention some parts and I want to respect his wishes.”  
  
“How lucky for us that ya can’t lie, ey?” Rampart laughed.  
  
“I’m not lying”, Pathfinder said. “I’m just not going to speak about it.”  
  
Well, that was disappointing. “Lame.”  
  
“Just check online”, Mirage suggested. “The media is on them already.”  
  
“Don’t need to say that twice!” She fumbled for her phone.  
  
“But I haven’t spoken to the media.” Pathfinder was confused. Did he miss something?  
  
“People got eyes, buddy.” The trickster spread comfortably across the couch, lying over its whole length. “You were in public, right?”  
  
“For a part of it, yes.”  
  
“Then don’t be soop- surprised that people take photos.”  
  
“Oh my god!” Rampart marked her discovery with a shrill laugh. “This is hysterical! You two look adorable!”  
  
“What kind of pictures are those?” The MRVN was worried at this point. Were the things he was meant to be silent about already public?  
  
“Mostly the park ones with the birds. Can’t keep animal lover Revenant a secret anymore, tin can.” Mirage flashed his first smirk of the day. “Haven’t you checked your phone at all?”  
  
“I did. I-“  
  
“Marvin”, a familiar voice interrupted them, deep and grating. But to Pathfinder it was heavenly, massaging his soul. Revenant slinked out of the shadows, approaching the group.  
  
“There you are! I’m so glad to see you!” The MRVN said. “Are you excited for the game?”  
  
The simulacrum let his optics wander over Pathfinder’s friends, who were cautiously observing him. Even after that surprisingly casual, almost friendly, poker night, they would never trust him. Good for them. It was the sane thing to do.  
  
“Hey, Rev. Cute birds”, Rampart dared to jab at him, to Mirage’s horror.  
  
“Fuck off”, was all Revenant offered as a reply. He turned his attention towards Pathfinder, hovering over him and letting his hand glide over his upper arm. “We gonna skip the hide and seek today. You’ll join me on the platform before we drop.”  
  
Wraith opened her mouth to object, but closed it again right away. There was no use in arguing. He would do whatever he wanted. It was up to Pathfinder whether he wanted to play along with his bullshit or not.  
  
“But what if we aren’t on the same squad?” Pathfinder asked.  
  
“We will be”, Revenant retorted. “I don’t care what the computer says.”  
  
“Oh.” The scout seemed tense suddenly, avoiding eye contact. “But that is against the rules. We can’t do that.”  
  
“We can. We already did.”  
  
“Yes, and I don’t think they liked that.” Pathfinder was tapping his fingertips together. “It’s cheating. We shouldn’t cheat in a game.”  
  
Revenant sneered. “What they gonna do? Kick us? You make ‘em too much money and they can’t get rid of me, even if they wanted.”  
  
Pathfinder took a step back. “I can’t break the rules.”  
  
What? Why was he so reluctant about this? Their last game had no consequences. The Syndicate wouldn’t dare to do anything. This could easily result in a murder spree through Hammond facilities again if they crossed him. They knew Revenant just played along in these games because he got to satisfy his bloodlust. They had to keep him entertained. And they wouldn’t dare to threaten Pathfinder either, not if he was obviously associated with Revenant now.  
  
“APPROACHING DROP ZONE.”  
  
All eyes turned towards the screens at the center. And sure enough, the robots would be separated for today.  
  
Revenant stalked Pathfinder to his platform in one last attempt to have him on his team. He pointed at the unknown face standing between the MRVN and Crypto. “You leave. I’m joining this squad.”  
  
“No.” Pathfinder grabbed the terrified man’s sleeve before he could flee. “You are not on my team, Revenant. I will shoot you as soon as we reach the ground.”  
  
“Why won’t you let me protect you?!” The simulacrum growled.  
  
“I can protect myself.”  
  
And with that the platforms lowered. Revenant begrudgingly shuffled to his assigned squad for the day: Mirage and another rando. He took his place on the left.  
  
“Hey, uh”, Mirage spoke up. “Just so you know: I’m Path’s best friend. We are real good buddies. Really tight. So, uhm, you really shouldn’t kill me. It would make him really sad. You wouldn’t do that to him, right?”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“Right! Okay!” Mirage looked over World’s Edge. “So… how about Overlook?”  
  
Revenant took a glance over his shoulder, watching Pathfinder’s squad drop at Skyhook. Oh, how great the urge was to jump after them, to annihilate his team and drag him into his. But somehow he didn’t doubt Pathfinder’s would stick to his intentions and fight him with all he got. Revenant had to trust him that he would keep himself alive. He would do the convincing for next time after the game.  
  
Like that he accepted Mirage’s suggestion, letting him lead their squad to a relatively calm looting phase. They did have a second team land with them, but they were swiftly taken care of. Their rando also got a kill, proving to be reasonably competent. She called herself ‘Ballista’, was quick on her feet and carried a grenade launcher with her, allowing her to toss the grenades she collected farther away and more accurately.  
  
The ring was closing up towards the center, pushing them to move and continue their looting elsewhere. The trio made their way to the Epicenter, hoping to use the positional advantage on top of the icy hills to gun down a few foes trying to make their way out of the pit. They haven’t even made it halfway there when an important number sunk down by a considerable amount.  
  
“Hot damn!” Mirage checked the stats. “Half the squads are down already!”  
  
Pathfinder was neither champion, nor kill leader. There was no way to check whether he was still in the game or not. No way to check if he was still running, knocked out or dead. Heavy tension burned inside Revenant’s chest. The unease had evolved into anxiety. But he wouldn’t recognize either, the feeling too alien to him.  
  
He needed to calm himself. And the only way he knew how was to murder.  
  
“I see one squad at the bottom”, Ballista called out. Their team had reached the hilltop by now, able to scout through their scopes. What they found was the aftermath of an intense skirmish. The winners were looting a bunch of incapacitated players. And probably a few corpses.  
  
“The fight must have ended recently”, Ballista continued. “Let’s go now while they’re still weak.”  
  
“Sounds good to me!” Mirage agreed.  
  
Revenant summoned his totem. He wouldn’t be able to describe how if you asked him, the ability coming naturally to him. If you could call anything ‘natural’ about an artificial being, that is.  
  
“Join me.” He let the totem engulf him in shadows, binding him to it. A familiar power surged through him, emptying his head, making him neglect self-preservation and filling him with determination instead. He was going to kill.  
  
He stormed down the steep decline, not caring whether the skin bags would back him up or not. The hostiles in front of him did see and hear him right away, his blackened form standing out of the light snow like a Leviathan out of the sea. They were shooting at him immediately too, but being confronted with a monstrous nightmare rushing towards you was affecting the steadiness of their hands. With that and Revenant snaking his way between covering rocks he only took a few grazing bullets.  
  
The robot produced a Volt, burning down his first victim within seconds. The remaining two fled from the onslaught of gunfire. It seemed like Ballista and Mirage had indeed followed him.  
  
The adversaries disappeared behind different corners, probably to reload their weapons and maybe get one or two shield cells in. Hunting after one of them Revenant ran into a barely reloaded G7 Scout, firing into his chest. But not sending him back yet. He pushed his gun against the man’s forehead. Pulling the trigger he sent a merciless stream of energy bullets sizzling through his skin, his skull, his brain.  
  
One more left.  
  
He turned towards the sounds of more gunfire. His squad mates were making quick work of the remaining adversary. Raising his Volt again he moved to take the flank. The enemy saw him, for some reason deciding to focus on him instead of the threats right in front of him. He turned the spray of his R-301 around, riddling Revenant with bullets. The robot took a shot and-  
  
A hiss, blackout and nausea. He was back at the totem.  
  
“Aaand that’s the last of them!” Mirage announced through the coms.  
  
Revenant checked his stats. He didn’t get the last kill.  
  
Livid he slid down the hill once more, stomping towards his already looting squad. “Which of you skin suits took my kill?!”  
  
Oh, crap. The only thing worse than a murder bot was an angry murder bot. Mirage raised his hands defensively. “Sorry, man! But you were sent back uphill. You can’t expect us to, uh, wait for you to come back down here.”  
  
“It wasn’t your kill anyway.” Ballista frowned. “The funny man shot him, so it’s his kill.”  
  
Revenant growled, taking a few threatening steps towards the woman. “I’m in a shit mood today. Don’t test your luck, girlie.”  
  
She shrunk down a bit, but kept her composure as best as she could. She knew of the simulacrum’s homicidal nature, but he usually didn’t kill team mates. Usually.  
  
He moved away from her, deciding to let this go. There wasn’t much he could do. He generally preferred his team mates alive. They are better bait like that.  
  
Taking another look at the stats he saw only 5 squads to be left in the game. Still no way to tell whether Pathfinder was alright or not. With the battle having lasted only for so long he couldn’t suppress his worries any more.  
  
The ring was shrinking again, leading them to Fragment. A risky road, having to cross open spaces when snipers were possibly sitting in the buildings. They were lucky today though, able to slink into a house at the very edge of the city ruins.  
  
It didn’t take long for gun fire to echo between the metal and concrete. But they weren’t involved in it yet. Two other squads had found each other first, engaging in combat.  
  
Revenant took a peek through a window, attempting to locate the source of the uproar.  
  
“You see anything?” Mirage asked.  
  
“They’re to the south west”, Revenant said. “We’re going to third party.”  
  
His wording underlined that he wouldn’t grant his team any say in the matter. Luckily they were confident in their skills, having no major objections to his plan anyway. However he couldn’t offer a totem this time, the powerful ability requiring a certain amount of cool down.  
  
Together they rushed towards the fight. The battle, which had been relatively overseeable before, broke into panicked chaos. It was everyone against everyone, projectiles flying in all directions. People were falling without knowing whose bullet did the final blow.  
  
Revenant’s squad had the advantage of a third party. When the first trio fell they were still in pretty good shape.  
  
The last squad had retreated into a building, or at least two thirds of it did. One member was still outside, dazed on the ground, barely hanging onto consciousness. Revenant recognized him as the hacker boy, Crypto. And he remembered in whose squad he was.  
  
Paying no further attention to him he kicked in the door separating him from the only one he cared about. Inside he found Pathfinder kneeling on the floor, stabbing an emergency syringe into his team mate’s chest in an attempt to bring him back into the game.  
  
Shots sizzled past Revenant, cracking Pathfinder’s shield before either could react. The MRVN was forced to leave his squad mate behind, escaping up the stairs.  
  
Revenant surged around, grabbing the attacker behind him by the neck and pushing him against the wall. Mirage clawed at the robot’s arms, choking and gasping.  
  
“What the fuck was that about?!” The simulacrum roared. “You were fucking shooting at him?! Didn’t you say you were his ‘best friend’ or some bullshit?!”  
  
“Ex… exactly”, Mirage rasped, barely able to form a sound.  
  
Not an answer Revenant expected. He let go of him. The trickster had to lean against the wall for balance, but managed to stay on his feet.  
  
“Explain yourself”, Revenant demanded.  
  
Mirage held up one finger to ask for some more time, still coughing and heaving. He tried to straighten himself after a few moments. “That’s… that’s ex- exactly why I wanna shoot him”, he said. “To avoid the worst. I’m shooting to knock him. Someone else might shoot to kill! This is a blood sport, man!”  
  
With a snarl Revenant turned away, stomping towards the stairs. The rando was still on the floor with a syringe in his heart. Revenant put a bullet in his head while passing him, the action unnervingly casual.  
  
He held in for a moment at the bottom of the stairs, attempting to prepare himself for the confrontation that was about to happen. He crouched down before sneaking up the steps, silent, listening for any sounds that would give Pathfinder’s location away. There was no way for Pathfinder to slip away. He was unable to move without making a ton of noise.  
  
There was no movement, but he did hear a shield cell being used. It came right from the second floor.  
  
He jumped around the corner, interrupting Pathfinder in his attempt to fix his shield. Revenant’s gun was raised, pointed right as his target. The MRVN needed a second to toss the cell away and retrieve his own gun. More than enough time to annihilate him. All he had to do was pull the trigger.  
  
But he didn’t. He couldn’t.  
  
Pathfinder on the other hand did not hesitate. He lifted his Wingman, shooting the simulacrum’s legs.  
  
His knees buckled. With a grunt Revenant fell to the ground, his legs dysfunctional.  
  
A frag grenade flew through the window before landing right at Pathfinder’s feet, quickly followed by a second one. Pathfinder was cornered, having to run over them to even try to escape the blast. Revenant meanwhile pulled himself past the corner back onto the stairs, searching cover behind the wall.  
  
Two explosions in rapid succession shook the building, making your brain rattle and your ears ring. The room filled with smoke and debris. Revenant had no lungs, but his human brain told him to cough to clear out the dust. He could not suppress the reflex, hacking and choking like his life was in danger.  
  
The smoke hadn’t fully cleared yet when Revenant crawled back into the room, fueled mostly by a feeling he hadn’t experienced in years. Fear.  
  
For the first time in decades he had something to lose. The only good thing in his life. His only possession. He had to face the possibility that everything he had was gone. It was utterly terrifying.  
  
He found Pathfinder still in the room. He was on the ground, lying on his back. Awake but stuttering and twitching. The explosions had destroyed metal racks and furniture, impaling the MRVN’s torso and neck with sharp pieces of shrapnel.  
  
The simulacrum watched him spasm violently, wondering if he was in pain. MRVNs didn’t feel pain, but Pathfinder was no ordinary MRVN. Revenant just now realized that he had never considered the scout’s full ability to suffer. If he did feel pain, then he must have been in excruciating agony right now.  
  
Revenant wanted to throw up, but he had no stomach.  
  
He finally arrived at his side, grabbing Pathfinder’s head to make him face him. “You fucking idiot!”  
  
Pathfinder took a moment to reply, struggling with his voice box. “Why- you. Ah- Why weren’t you shooting… at me? This is a shooting game.”  
  
“This isn’t a game!” He was right in his face, screaming. “You can fucking die in this place! You have no backups! Why are you doing this?!”  
  
“I need.” The light in Pathfinder’s optic was as bright as ever, a stark contrast to his beaten body. “I need to find my creator.”  
  
“Idiot! Fucking moron!” Revenant slammed his fist into the ground. “Your creator is probably dead!”  
  
A pause. “Why would you say such a thing?”  
  
“You’ve been active for decades now!” Revenant said. “Don’t you think he would have located you by now if he wanted you back? He’s either dead or doesn’t give a shit. He’s left you behind!”  
  
“He left me?”  
  
“Of course he did!”  
  
There was no more reply. Sparks hissed, Pathfinder’s limbs convulsing.  
  
“Hey, uhm…” Mirage was at the stairs behind them. He had sneaked up to check the aftermath of Ballista’s grenade attack. “Rev… I know this stuff is kinda new to you, but you’re, uh, not helping him right now.”  
  
“The fuck you know, skin suit?!” Revenant spat.  
  
“Please… show some mercy and take him out of his misery at least. Bombard him with the exten- existential dread after the game when he’s not a complete wreck, if you have to.”  
  
The simulacrum turned back to Pathfinder, who was still silent and seizing. He sighed. “Whipping won’t knock him out, will it?”  
  
“Put some bullets in his stomach”, Mirage said. “You know where he has those Xs? Not sure what’s in there, but it shuts him down usually. And the guys down at Respawn can replace those bits easily.”  
  
He hesitated, but pulled out an RE-45, placing it at the suggested location. Pathfinder still hadn’t uttered another word.  
  
Revenant leaned down slowly, pressing his cold, fake lips on the golden bar beneath Pathfinder’s optic. It was the closest thing to a kiss he could offer.  
  
“See you after the game.”  
  
As loud and violent the burst of gunfire was, as quickly it was over too.


	19. Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aight I have to admit, this chapter is another one im not really satisfied with. im incredibly busy these days and this one is probably somewhat rushed. im even worried im slipping further into these guys being out of character. i feel like they make sense in the context of this fic, but looking at how they are in canon is becoming more jarring of a difference. i guess thats unavoidable with writing crack ships.
> 
> the art updates are also on hold for now until february probably.
> 
> in other news, this fic is at over 3500 hits and almost 300 kudos now. sorting apex fics by kudos makes this appear on the first page. this is incredible. i never would have thought my writing would be enjoyed by so many people! thank you all so much!

He didn’t survive the match. He had managed to repair his legs to the point of being able to walk after Pathfinder had shot them, but Revenant was basically a stumbling duck. Mirage offered help, but the simulacrum refused. He barely left the building when he was shot down like the injured game he was.  
  
So he woke up in yet another body, the Hammond logos shining clean and fresh on his hand plates. But his main worry lied somewhere else.  
  
He searched for Pathfinder at the Respawn facilities, a high tech medical center injured Apex competitors got sent to. Ever since the first robot became a legend it also stocked up with an engineering department. Revenant had seen it from the inside only once. From then on the staff just put him down whenever he took too much damage in the ring. It was the safer and easier way to ‘fix’ him. He had more than enough spare bodies after all. Revenant preferred it that way too. Better than having skin bags, who didn’t even know how to sedate a simulacrum with 300 year old tech, tear at your body.  
  
They informed him that they had discharged Pathfinder before he arrived. So he decided to look for him at the warehouse. Stepping into his living room he finally found the scout lying motionlessly in his bed. “Marvin?”  
  
The MRVN turned in his bed with sluggish movements. “Oh, Revenant. What are you doing here?”  
  
The phone rang before Revenant could comment on his oddly flat tone. But Pathfinder made no move to answer the call. It wouldn’t stop ringing, pissing the simulacrum off enough for him to walk up to the device and push the call away. That was when he saw the numbers. 322 messages. 65 missed calls. What the hell?  
  
“Who’s messaging you?” Revenant asked.  
  
It rang again. For fuck’s sake! This time Revenant answered it. “What do you want?”  
  
A masculine voice replied from the other end. “Ah- is- Am I speaking to Revenant?!”  
  
“What do you want”, Revenant repeated.  
  
“Right, sorry! I am Jerry Moore from ‘Solace Sunday’. We meant to contact Pathfinder originally. Is he there?”  
  
“Have you been spamming him with all these calls?”  
  
“I- I have called once today”, the reporter stuttered. “No other attempt to contact him is in affiliation with us. I am not surprised to hear that more people are interested to speak to him though. The public is quite interes-“  
  
“Cut it short, skin bag”, Revenant growled.  
  
“Of course! Sorry! Anyway, since Pathfinder doesn’t seem to be available right now, would you be willing to answer some questions? You two seem to be quite close and we would love to learn more!” There it was. That polite, professional tone. Trying to lull his desired interview partner into a false sense of sympathy and security. As if he wouldn’t use every opportunity to sell people’s personal information and tragedies for the next big story. These skin bags were all the same.  
  
“A phone interview, hm?” Revenant hummed. “How ‘bout we make this one in-person. Give me your location and we’ll make this close. And personal.”  
  
“N- no need to! Thank you for your time!” The reporter hung up.  
  
Grunting, Revenant fumbled with the phone to put it on silent. That should fix it for now.  
  
He looked back at Pathfinder, who still hadn’t moved at all. “How long have they been harassing you?” Revenant asked.  
  
“Since yesterday”, came the apathetic reply.  
  
“Before or after the game?”  
  
“Before.”  
  
Damn it. This must have been because of their date. They had been in public after all. Fucking skin suits and their gossip.  
  
It wasn’t a surprise really. Revenant had expected that, but simply didn’t care. No one would have dared to bother him. Barely anyone got his contact info anyway. But he hadn’t considered that they would pile up on Pathfinder.  
  
Walking over he took a seat at the edge of the bed. He grasped the MRVN’s hand, running his thumb over it. “I’ve been looking for you. You were out of Respawn once I got there.”  
  
No reply.  
  
“They fixed you fine?” Revenant asked.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
What on earth was going on? This wasn’t the overenthusiastic, annoying Pathfinder he knew. “You don’t seem fine to me. What is it? Is it the media? Don’t worry, this will stop soon. I’ll make sure of it.”  
  
He did not miss how the scout’s fingers curled in slightly, but he couldn’t place the gesture.  
  
“I will protect you”, Revenant continued. “We’ll fight together from now on.”  
  
“No, we can’t.”  
  
Revenant had to stop himself from yelling. That fucking idiot, why did he have to be so stubborn?! “Yes, dammit! I will not watch you getting blown to pieces! I refuse to let you run into a death pit alone again!”  
  
Pathfinder was silent.  
  
With a groan Revenant let his gaze wander through the room, thinking of how to convince this moron. “Why won’t you let me protect you? You may have managed to survive until now, but that streak of luck will end at some point. You will be safer with me. I will not let anything happen to you.”  
  
No reply still.  
  
“Will you fight with me next time?” The simulacrum asked again.  
  
“I don’t think there will be a next time.”  
  
Revenant did not expect that answer. “What?”  
  
“I said I don’t think there will be a next time.”  
  
“I heard you. Are you saying you won’t be fighting in the Apex Games anymore?”  
  
“I guess. There is no reason to.”  
  
Well, this would be what Revenant wanted. Pathfinder out of danger. But something was off, anxiety collecting in the pit of Revenant’s stomach. Where was the happy MRVN, eager to naively play a death sport like it was a game of tag? “What’s going on?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“You’re being weird. What happened?”  
  
“What do you mean exactly?”  
  
Growing frustrated Revenant raised his voice. “Stop playing dumb! It’s like you’re depressed or some shit! You’re never like that!”  
  
Pathfinder retreated into his blanket, just a little bit. “Please don’t yell.”  
  
The simulacrum took a deep, fake breath. He couldn’t believe Pathfinder was being this difficult. It was usually Revenant bringing in the issues, with Pathfinder being the stable one. He couldn’t even say the roles were reversed now, because Revenant had no stability for himself, not to mention for both of them. He had no healthy coping, problem solving or social skills at all. Where should he begin? Hell, he didn’t know what was wrong in the first place.  
  
But he had to try. “You’re not feeling well, are you?”  
  
“No, not really.”  
  
“Are you in pain?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Are you scared of something?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Are you… sad?”  
  
“I don’t know.”  
  
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Revenant would have squinted if he had eyelids.  
  
“I’m not sure.” Pathfinder’s responses remained flat, lifeless. It was like talking to a vending machine. “I think I should be sad, but I don’t feel anything at all. I feel empty.”  
  
Revenant’s stomach dropped. “You- Are you saying you are actually depressed?”  
  
“Is that what it is? I never experienced that before. I don’t like it.”  
  
Revenant was stumped. Pathfinder and depression? That seemed impossible, polar opposites. Like oil and water, unable to mix. Maybe the damage from the game was too severe. Maybe the meat bags at Respawn didn’t fix him properly.  
  
Pathfinder was physically here, but a part of him was gone. It felt like Revenant had lost him, stress and fear flooding the simulacrum’s systems. “What… what can I do to make you feel better?”  
  
A pause. “I don’t know.”  
  
“Of course you do, just tell me!” There was panic in Revenant’s voice. “Do you… do you wanna play a game? Go somewhere maybe? Do- do you wanna dance? Just tell me, dammit!”  
  
“I don’t feel like doing anything.”  
  
Hectic, Revenant looked around, nervously running his hand on top of his head. Just what the fuck happened?! “Since when do you feel like this?”  
  
“Since learning that my creator left me.”  
  
What? “No.” Revenant shook his head. “Don’t tell me you’re down because of some fucking skin bag you never even met.”  
  
“He left me. I spent all my life searching for him and he abandoned me. Everyone is abandoning me. You will abandon me too.”  
  
“NO!” The simulacrum bellowed. “I will not! I told you I won’t let anything happen to you! You- you’re all I have!”  
  
“He left me. There is nothing left.”  
  
“Bullshit!” He gripped the MRVN’s hand tighter than he meant to. “I’m the one with nothing left! You got so much! You got the games you like! You got your dumb ass skin suit friends! You got your hobbies! You got me!”  
  
A moment of silence. “I am sorry, Revenant. I am really tired.”  
  
No! No no no! Fuck no! This was his fault! He wanted to protect him, but broke him instead! He had grasped his music box so tightly, afraid that someone might take it, not realizing he squashed it in his hands.  
  
“Fuck!” Revenant stepped away from the bed, pacing a few rounds through the room, clawing at his head. What the hell was he supposed to do? He wasn’t equipped to handle this. He wanted to flee, wanting to run from his terrible mistake.  
  
He rushed towards the door.  
  
“Are you leaving?” Pathfinder asked.  
  
Hand on the handle, Revenant halted. He wanted to leave. To escape so bad. But he realized that that would make it worse. He couldn’t leave Pathfinder at his lowest hour. Especially not with these weird abandonment issues he had developed. The abandonment issues Revenant had caused. The damage would be irreversible.  
  
He had to stay. It was the basic minimum he could do. He owed him so much more, he should at least do this.  
  
“No.” He turned away from the door, heading back to the bed. There he lifted the blanket to crawl into bed with the MRVN. Reaching around him he pulled him into a tight hug, as close as physically possible. As if he was afraid that he could slip away. “I’m not leaving.”  
  
\----------------  
  
Revenant spent the next few hours at Pathfinder’s place. During all that time the scout made no attempt to even move a limb.  
  
Trying to motivate him Revenant kept suggesting things to do. Reminding him of their list they still had to work through. Whispering about the fun dates they had he tried to put a smile on his screen. But it remained blank.  
  
Pathfinder’s phone was set on silent, but Revenant could see the calls piling up whenever he threw a glance over it. It filled his already tense mind with rage, raising his urge to go slaughter every single one of those damn media sacks.  
  
But he had to stay. He was trapped. He couldn’t leave, but being with Pathfinder wasn’t doing the MRVN any good either.  
  
It was hopeless. He was lost without Pathfinder gifting him a tinge of normality and peace.  
  
\----------------  
  
The sound of a heavy door moving squeaked through the halls in the late evening. Footsteps echoed through the halls, several people it seemed. Was it paparazzi? Were they trying to invade Pathfinder’s home now that he wouldn’t reply to calls? Fury filled Revenant’s frame. He left the bed, extending his claws and readying himself for a massacre.  
  
“Path? Are you here?” One visitor called out.  
  
Revenant recognized the voice. It was the trickster.  
  
He was still on edge, but knew that killing Pathfinder’s friends wasn’t the best decision to make here.  
  
Stepping up to the living room door her pushed it open to peek out to the hallway. He indeed found Pathfinder’s friends approaching. Mirage, Rampart, Wraith and Gibraltar.  
  
“Oh crap, Revenant?!” Was Mirage’s elegant greeting.  
  
“Yeah, fuck you too”, the simulacrum replied. “Why are you here?”  
  
“We could ask you the same”, Wraith said. “Where is Path?”  
  
“He’s here. He’s…” What was he supposed to tell? Was it even a good idea to let them in? The need to keep him safe and away from everything was strong. But even he could feel that this was not in his best interest. Revenant hated the skin suits, but they were important to Pathfinder. Hell, they were definitely better equipped to help him than he was.  
  
Without a word he slinked back into the room, leaving the door open. It was the most he was willing to give as an invitation.  
  
The group exchanged a few glances, already feeling like something wasn’t right.  
  
They dared to follow him, Wraith being the first one to enter the living room and find their robot friend lying in his bed. She gave him a soft smile. “Hey, Path. Good to see you.”  
  
Mirage was the last one to come in, right after Rampart and Gibraltar. “There you are, buddy! We’ve been worried about you. You haven’t been responding to any of our messages. What’s up with that?”  
  
“Hello friends”, Pathfinder said. “I am sorry for not replying. It is difficult to keep up with things right now.”  
  
Everyone knew at this point that something was very wrong. Pathfinder’s greetings were always overbearing, accompanied by exaggerated gestures. Instead he was lying down, his tone indifferent. This was bad.  
  
“Ey, are you okay, bruddah?” Gibraltar asked.  
  
“No, I don’t think so”, came the MRVN’s reply.  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
“Revenant says it’s depression.”  
  
All eyes wandered to the simulacrum leaning against the wall with crossed arms.  
  
“What did you do to him?” Wraith questioned him, clenching her fists.  
  
He growled in response. “Why do you always think it’s something I did?”  
  
“Because it usually is.” She glared at him.  
  
Gibraltar stepped in front of Wraith, kneeling next to Pathfinder. Breaking up the confrontation before it could fester and turning the attention back to where it belonged. “Talk to me.”  
  
“I…” Pathfinder took a moment to form his feelings into words. “I feel empty. I don’t feel like doing anything. It seems so pointless.”  
  
“What happened to make you feel that way?” If comfort had a sound it would be Gibraltar’s voice, full of warmth.  
  
“I lost my purpose.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“He’s depressed ‘cause his creator’s gone.” Revenant decided to get to the point. Might as well try to speed things up.  
  
Confused frowns grew on everyone’s faces.  
  
“But ya were always so determined to find him, Path”, Rampart noted. “What made ya give up on that?”  
  
“Revenant told me that he would have shown up already”, Pathfinder replied. “He abandoned me.”  
  
With an energetic swing Rampart grabbed the nearest object to her, a night lamp. Before anyone realized what was happening she had already sprinted over to Revenant, smashing the lamp across his face. Broken shards exploded in a crash, raining everywhere. “Ya FUCKING bastard! Asshole! Piece of shit!”  
  
She kept on whacking him with the remaining stump, until Mirage rushed up to her to pull her away. “Ramya! Stop! Are you fucking insane?!”  
  
Revenant stared at the furious woman, stunned. The attack was so sudden and unexpected, he didn’t even think of punishing her audacity.  
  
The ruckus made Pathfinder stir for the first time. He slid under his blanket, covering himself to hide from the world.  
  
Wraith was doing her very best to keep calm, but under the surface she was boiling hot. “Leave.”  
  
Overwhelmed by the entire situation, Revenant was frozen in place. “I…”  
  
“Stop.” The void walker was 2 seconds away from bursting. “You said enough. If you give any shit about him, like you claim you do, then leave.”  
  
“I can’t.”  
  
“What do you mean you can’t?!” She hissed through her teeth.  
  
“Why the FUCK did ya tell him he was abandoned?!” Rampart was heaving, still having to be held back by Mirage. “It’s his big life goal to find his creator! And ya tell him to give up?! What the fuck is wrong with ya?! Other than being a bloody fucking mistake that should have died centuries ago?!”  
  
“What- How was I supposed to know it would break him?!” Revenant took a threatening step forward. He would not allow some meat sacks to bully him. How dare they?!  
  
“Oh, so ya thought he could take it?! That being an asshole is okay as long as it only hurts?!”  
  
“What, so you want him almost killed every game for something unachievable?! You want him to search for-fucking-ever?! The sooner he accepts it the better! He needs to live for himself and not some fucking no-face skin suit, who disappeared to who-knows-where!”  
  
“Is that your idea of mercy?! Just ‘cause it seems unlikely to ya?!”  
  
“It’s impossible and you all know it!”  
  
“How would ya know?!”  
  
“STOP!” Gibraltar’s voice boomed, almost shaking the room. Silencing them in an instant. “You are not helping!”  
  
They did quiet down, but the tension remained. Staring each other down in a silent fight, it would have needed just a spark to make them tear each other’s throats out.  
  
Gibraltar returned his attention to the MRVN, gently lifting the blanket he was hiding under. “C’mon, bruddah. Don’t hide from us.”  
  
Pathfinder stayed curled up beneath his soft shield. “My friends are fighting because of me. They hate each other and it’s my fault. It would be better for everyone to leave me.”  
  
“No!” Revenant yelled. “It’s not your fault, for fuck’s sake! It’s me!”  
  
Peeking out from under the blanket the scout dared to pick up eye contact with the robot behind his bed. “But-“  
  
“No buts!” The simulacrum pointed at his own chest. “It’s all me! You’ve been fine! It was me who brought nothing but bullshit into your life!”  
  
“At least ya know”, Rampart muttered.  
  
“You should have expected this!” Revenant continued. “Instead you pursued me for months! And now I can’t leave, dammit!”  
  
“Why not?” Wraith asked. Just what kind of games was he playing here? “You’re doing no good here.”  
  
“I- I can’t.” The simulacrum couldn’t believe he let himself sink this low, being this weak and pathetic in front of these meat sacks. Making himself vulnerable. He truly was desperate. “I need him.”  
  
“You need me?” Pathfinder seemed surprised about this revelation. There was something else too. Maybe a hint of joy?  
  
“Of course ya do”, Rampart mocked Revenant. “Ya only care as long as he’s of use to ya.”  
  
“Like hell you want Path to live for himself.” Wraith got his number. “You want him to live for _you_.”  
  
“Fuck.” Slumping to the ground Revenant sat down, putting his head into his hands. He was at a loss, not knowing what to do with himself. He hated how little options and control he had over the situation. He hated that the skin bags were here. He hated how they got between him and Pathfinder. And he hated that they were right. His care for the MRVN was egotistical in nature. Everything he did was to benefit himself in the end.  
  
“Did you lie to me?” Pathfinder’s voice was small. “Did you say my creator left so I would pay more attention to you? You could have just asked me to.”  
  
“No, that’s not it”, the simulacrum grumbled. “I do think he’s gone, whether he’s dead or whatever. And I don’t wanna watch you die for nothing.”  
  
“He left me…”  
  
“You don’t know that, Path!” Mirage jumped in, trying to stop the scout slipping into hopelessness again, letting go of Rampart in the process. “He could, like, still be out there! C’mon, it’s just his opinion. There is no evidence.”  
  
“I’ll never find my purpose”, the MRVN shook his head slightly.  
  
“Y’know.” Gibraltar placed a hand on Pathfinder’s shoulder. “People have expectations of you. Tell you what you should do. And you wanna do the right thing, so you listen to them. But life isn’t that simple. Sometimes your purpose turns out to be something very different. Sometimes your purpose is just to live a good life and be happy. You can make your own purpose.”  
  
Pathfinder was quiet, listening intently.  
  
“Yeah, you’re important to us, man!” Mirage said. “We all wanna see you happy! Is there anything you need? You want? Can we do something to make you feel even a little bit better?”  
  
A pause.  
  
“Can you stay with me for a while?” Pathfinder’s tone was meek, as if he was ashamed of asking for a favor.  
  
“Of course!” The trickster’s features lit up. “We’ll stay as long as you want! Let’s make this a party!”  
  
“You want me to leave?” Revenant was still staring at the floor.  
  
“No”, Pathfinder replied. “Please stay.”  
  
Surprised, the simulacrum looked up. He genuinely didn’t expect him to want him to stay. Not with his friend keeping him company now.  
  
“Are ya sure?” Rampart gave Pathfinder a sceptical look. “I don’t think he’s doing ya any good right now.”  
  
The scout had made up his mind. “Please let him stay.”  
  
The engineer sighed. “Ach, Path… you’re too soft for this world.”  
  
He tilted his head. “But I am made of metal, which is very hard.”  
  
A laugh came from Mirage’s direction. “Ay, there he is! Our jokester!”  
  
“A joke?” The MRVN was puzzled.  
  
“I’m gonna get some board games!" Hurrying to the other side of the room Mirage started to dig through the shelves. "This is gonna be chill and fun and you’ll be back to your old self in no time!”  
  
Everyone got moving. Wraith grabbed some chairs to arrange them around the table at the center while Rampart shoved and pushed at Pathfinder, ushering him to leave his bed.  
  
Staying on the floor Revenant watched the skin suits move around. At least until Gibraltar walked up to him, blocking his view and staring down at him. His expression was serious, but there was more. Pity? Sympathy? “I don’t think you mean him ill.”  
  
Revenant sneered. “Tch. You think?”  
  
“Yeah. But I want to remind you of my advice.”  
  
“Ugh…”  
  
“Listen, bruddah. Path is a tough cookie. He can take a lot. Has a lot of life in him. But it’s not infinite, y’know? You need to take care of him. And you can’t take care of him if you can’t take care of yourself.”  
  
“Don’t fucking infantilize me”, Revenant growled.  
  
“Think about it. And here is some more advice: It’s okay to ask for help.” With that Gibraltar turned away to join the others.  
  
Cowering in his lonely corner Revenant watched them gather around the table. Pathfinder looked back over his shoulder, catching Revenant’s eye, a question mark on his display. The simulacrum stared back, no expression to offer.  
  
“Will you join us, love?” Pathfinder asked.  
  
Revenant’s breath hitched. The MRVN’s friends threw a few strange looks at both of the robots.  
  
Wraith leaned slightly over the table. “Are you sure you want him with us, Path?”  
  
“Yes.” Pathfinder nodded, sure of his decision. “I don’t want him to be alone.”  
  
Revenant hesitated. This whole experience had rattled his mind. Not in a million years he would have thought he would wait for approval. Or permission. Or whatever. He did whatever he wanted. But right now he wasn’t sure what he wanted.  
  
After some more awkward silence Rampart called out to him. “Ya heard him, bastard! Ya coming or what?”  
  
His gut reaction was to jump up and stab her. Instead he forced himself to rise slowly from the ground, shuffling over to the table for another dumb game night with the skin bags. There was a smile on Pathfinder’s screen.


	20. Purpose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. I have passed my bachelor's exam and hope to get back into the swing of things.
> 
> First: I have finally acquired a beta reader, who is a native english speaker and also a non-shipper, just what i wished for. He is currently going through the old chapters, which will probably take forever with how much detail he goes into. so new chapters will not be beta read yet and the good old mess as usual.
> 
> second: with pathfinder's quest now out i had some decisions to make. i still dont have the book but i know about some bits which make some parts of this fic all the more illogical. i was thinking of rewriting certain bits, but decided not to. this fic is now basically an au taking place at the end of season 6.
> 
> last: i dont remember the last art update i put into the notes and am too lazy to check, but everything up to chapter 8 is now illustrated

It was an awkward night, to say the least.  
  
The tension did not ease up around Revenant like it did last time, anger boiling under the skin of some of Pathfinder’s friends. Most of them however did not pay too much attention to him. He was just an afterthought. The main focus was on Pathfinder with everyone trying their best to cheer him up.  
  
The scout did lighten up a little, enjoying the company of his friends. But it wasn’t the same. This wasn’t the overenthusiastic Pathfinder they knew. His character seemed subdued, struggling to shine under a thick blanket of suffocating apathy.  
  
They stayed until the early morning hours. Gibraltar was the first to leave, giving the MRVN some more hopeful words, a casual goodbye to his friends and a solemn nod to Revenant, who just looked away in response.  
  
The rest stayed for another day, not wanting to leave Pathfinder in this terrible state. They took naps in turns, not trusting to be any amount of safe around Revenant.  
  
While they all worked together to help Pathfinder through the day, Revenant stayed at the sidelines, watching them do the job he was supposed to do. It was degrading, some skin suits having to pick up his slack. But he was straight up useless. He wouldn’t know what to do.  
  
It was all basic stuff. Motivating him to get out of bed, going outside with him for a walk, ushering him to take care of himself, engaging in conversation, reminiscing in pleasant memories, making plans with him. Basic stuff Revenant wouldn’t even do for himself.  
  
Ah. Of course.  
  
Nice play, big guy. You really read that unmoving mask like a giant, glowing billboard.  
  
Bastard.  
  
His words echoed in the simulacrum’s mind, bouncing from wall to wall akin to an ancient screen saver. ‘You need to take care of yourself before you can take care of him.’ One would be insane to think someone as inherently fucked up as Revenant could pretend to engage with normality like this.  
  
But he couldn’t rely on the skin bags to take care of Pathfinder for him. He refused to be dependent like that. It was bad enough that he dependent on the MRVN.  
  
‘It’s okay to ask for help.’  
  
Fuck that noise.  
  
He wouldn’t crawl up to ask for things. He would demand them.  
  
The trickster had claimed to be Pathfinder’s best friend, so Revenant decided to probe his brain. Should be easy enough. He found him alone in the kitchen, preparing a basic noodle dish. For a second he wondered where he got those from, but it didn’t seem too unlikely for Pathfinder to keep food around in case of human visitors.  
  
“Meat bag.”  
  
“Oh, crap!” Mirage grasps at the shirt over his chest, flinching and almost knocking the pan off the stove. “You scared me! I didn’t hear you.”  
  
The simulacrum stepped into the room, approaching him. “You never do. Thought you’d expect that at this point.”  
  
“Hey, man, you’re not going to eat me, right?” Mirage shrunk down from the towering threat. “I mean- it would, I’m not that-“  
  
“How.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“How do you keep him happy?” Revenant asked.  
  
The trickster took a moment to collect himself. “You, you mean Path?” He ran his hand through his hair, thinking on how to answer such a strange question. “Well, usually he keeps himself happy. This is new for all of us. No, wait- the depression thing is new, but he was sad before.”  
  
Revenant tilted his head ever so slightly. “He was?”  
  
“Yeah. He was down for weeks. That was tough.”  
  
“What happened?”  
  
Mirage hesitated. He wasn’t sure if it would be wise to talk about what Pathfinder would consider his ex in front of what he would consider his new boyfriend. “Well, uh, someone important left him.”  
  
For a split second the robot seemed surprised. Or maybe realization hit him. “Huh… what did you do to fix him?”  
  
“Uhm, I wouldn’t call it fixed… He obviously still has that separation anxiety. Not gonna lie, what you said really fed into that. It was probably the worst thing you could have said to him.”  
  
Revenant angled his gaze, glaring.  
  
“I’m not blaming you though!” Mirage stuttered, raising his hands in defense, shrinking further down. “I mean, unless he talked about that you had no way of knowing.”  
  
Humming in thought, Revenant looked to the side. He decided to not dwell on this, he had a problem to solve. “How did you… help him?”  
  
“Oh, well.” He cleared his throat. “I was just… there for him. Talking to him, making sure he wasn’t alone. Listening to him and sustin- suggesting things to distract himself with. That kinda stuff.”  
  
Useless information. This was all generic stuff Revenant already knew. And that shit sure didn’t help when he tried to cheer him up before the skin suits showed up. Hell, they were just rotting together for hours!  
  
“You alright?” Wraith was standing in the doorframe. She had noticed the absence of both Mirage and Revenant and decided to check on the trickster. Just in case.  
  
“Oh, uh, yeah! Sure! I’m good I think.” Mirage stirred the noodles with more energetic moves to drive home how fine he was, which had the exact opposite effect.  
  
Wraith frowned. “You sure?”  
  
“Calm down, we’re just talking.” Revenant turned to leave, walking past the void walker out the kitchen. “We’re done here anyway.”  
  
Wraith furrowed her brows after him, but determined that making sure that Mirage wouldn’t burn the noodles was more important right now.  
  
Thinking, Revenant sauntered through the hallways. He really had hit a sour spot with that abandonment thing. Pathfinder seemed impossible to break, and yet he found the possibly only thing that could do that. In any other case he would have been delighted, to destroy someone like that. It’s what he was built for, even if usually in a more literal sense. And he ended up doing it to the only thing he needed working.  
  
…  
  
The only person he wanted happy.  
  
“Fucking dammit”, he groaned, rubbing his temples.  
  
He returned to the living room, where Rampart was trying to occupy Pathfinder’s mind with a jigsaw puzzle. It seemed to be working. He didn’t even notice the murder machine coming in. Rampart, however, did. She greeted him with a deep frown.  
  
Revenant stood in awkward silence for a few moments before speaking up. “What are you doing?”  
  
Perking up, the MRVN abandoned the piece he was trying to find a fitting place for and turned around. “Oh, Revenant! We are doing a jigsaw puzzle! Do you want to join us?”  
  
“Yeah, sure.” He dragged himself over to the carpet they were sitting on before letting himself drop next to the scout.  
  
“Lovely!”  
  
Rampart remained silent, watching the simulacrum’s moves. He didn’t do anything whatsoever to help Pathfinder during the past few hours. It made her all the more suspicious of his intentions.  
  
Sitting cross legged on the ground, Revenant took a look at the puzzle in front of him. It appeared to be highly complicated, consisting out of 5000 pieces with an abstract motif that didn’t give many clear focal points to hang onto. They had made some progress on the corners, but they were still at the beginning.  
  
He would take a random edge piece, trying to attach it to another, only to grow frustrated when they didn’t fit. He caught himself several times pushing them into each other with force. But it wasn’t satisfactory at all, the pairs looking crooked and wrong. Ugh, he just had to walk in on them in the middle of the most ill-fit activity for him, didn’t he? This was a puzzle that required patience, and he hated that. But it wasn’t what he was here for in the first place.  
  
He let out a sigh. “Wrench girl.”  
  
“Yes, asshole?”  
  
Revenant growled, but decided not to take the bait. “I need to speak to him. Alone.”  
  
Rampart turned to him to give him a flat stare. “Why? He’s feeling slightly better so ya wanna destroy all our good work again?”  
  
The simulacrum’s claws dug into the carpet, accompanied by sounds of fabric tearing. “Don’t test me, girlie. I’m not in the mood.”  
  
She did not miss the sad emoji on Pathfinder’s display. He was growing increasingly agitated with this blooming argument. She let out a sigh of her own. “Is it okay if I go outside for a moment, Path? Or do ya want me to stay?”  
  
“I… I am okay”, the MRVN replied. “I am safe with Revenant.”  
  
“If ya say so. I’ll be in the next room, call if ya need me.”  
  
“I will, thank you.”  
  
Leaving one more angry glance for Revenant she got up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.  
  
Pathfinder turned towards the simulacrum. “Is something wrong?”  
  
Said simulacrum was pretending to be interested in one particularly generic puzzle piece. “Tell me how you’re feeling first.”  
  
“Me?” The scout looked down at his screen, as if it could tell him anything more than superficial signals about his state. “I am feeling better. I think.”  
  
Revenant nodded. “Good.”  
  
“Why did you ask Ramya to leave the room?”  
  
Time to get to the point. “Why do you want to find your creator?”  
  
Pathfinder was caught off guard. He did not expect that question. “Oh, well. I… I feel like he is important. I think he could answer all my questions. Where I come from and what I was built for. I need to find him so I can find my purpose.”  
  
Revenant’s first instinct was to go on a ramble how it’s sometimes better to not know one’s purpose. After all him realizing his own purpose, finding out what he was and what he was built for, gave him nothing but agony. And his own creators were long dead too, so there wasn’t even anyone to take satisfying revenge on. But this wasn’t about him. It was against his nature, but he had to try and take someone else’s perspective for once, if he wanted to do any good at all. “So if you would find him and all your questions would be answered… What would you do then?”  
  
“I… hm.” Pathfinder thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure, but I think that would also be answered once I find him. My creator can tell me my purpose, so I can then follow my purpose.”  
  
“…What if you don’t like your purpose?”  
  
The MRVN quieted down again. “I never thought about that. But it’s a problem I can’t solve right now. I’ll have to wait and see what my purpose is first before I can solve any issues connected to that.”  
  
“I see… pragmatic I guess.” Revenant was distracted for just a second when he finally found two puzzle pieces fitting to each other. It gave him a rush of satisfaction that made him somewhat understand the appeal of these things.  
  
“Don’t you want to find your creator?” Pathfinder asked.  
  
Revenant scoffed. “Already did. They are long dead.” He decided to skip the details on his feelings towards his creators. This wasn’t about him.  
  
“Oh… I’m sorry.”  
  
“Don’t be. Really.”  
  
Silence laid over them for a moment before Pathfinder reached for Revenant’s hand. He placed his second one on top of his, covering the H on his hand plate.  
  
Something tensed up in the simulacrum’s chest. He couldn’t place what it was, but it brought an urge with it. The urge to hold this being next to him and never let go.  
  
With his free arm he reached around Pathfinder, pulling him into a gentle hug and putting his head on top of his. How can someone be so throughoutly good? So full of love? And how did it find its way into his life? “I’ll help you.”  
  
“I know”, Pathfinder said. “You’ve been helping me with the puzzle for a while now.”  
  
Revenant chuckled. “Not that, idiot. I’m gonna help you find your creator.”  
  
The scout leaned back to look at him. “You will? But you said there is no hope to find him.”  
  
“Who knows?” He shrugged. “Maybe I’m wrong. Can’t know if you don’t try.”  
  
Full of glee, Pathfinder reached around him, squeezing him tightly. “Oh, I’m so happy! Thank you, my love!”  
  
He gasped under the pressure. “It’s fine… I owe you at least that much.”  
  
The MRVN did not pick up on the discomfort, swaying him in his embrace. “I love you.”  
  
“Love you too…” Revenant let out a huff of air. “Marvin?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“How… What more can I do for you?”  
  
Pathfinder hummed in thought. “It would be nice if you wouldn’t fight with my friends all the time.”  
  
The simulacrum scoffed in response. “Okay, look, I’m not here to do miracles.”  
  
“I’m sure you can be nicer. I believe in you.”  
  
“Tell that to the skin bags. Wrench girl was the one that started it.”  
  
“She’s very angry with you… I will talk to her.”  
  
Letting go of him, Pathfinder leaned away once more. He looked at Revenant’s face for just a second before cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a kiss.  
  
Revenant’s mind froze for a moment. They had kissed before, but it was on his initiation.  
  
Neither of them had eyes to close, so they sat there, staring into each other’s optics. It should have been terribly awkward, but robots kissing was already awkward in the first place. So this detail didn’t really matter. Pathfinder didn’t even have a face really. It was just a big camera lens, drowning Revenant in crimson light. For a moment there was only that red light and the electricity Revenant could feel sizzling in his forehead. And just for a split second he felt… content. Maybe some form of peace.  
  
“You’re something special, y’know?” Revenant said.  
  
Pathfinder’s light seemed to shine ever so slightly brighter. “Do you really think that?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“That’s so sweet… I think you are special too.”  
  
\----------------  
  
Wraith wandered down the hallway with both a plate and her mouth full of noodles. She found Rampart pressing her ear against the door to Pathfinder’s living room.  
  
“You good, Parekh?” The void walker asked.  
  
Pulling away from the door, Rampart straightened her back before turning towards Wraith. “Yeah… Yeah, I think I’m good.”  
  
“Are they inside?”  
  
“Yep. Can I have some of your noodles?” She reached for Wraith’s plate in an attempt to snatch a handful of her food.  
  
But Wraith turned away in time, holding the plate out of the engineer’s reach. “There’s more in the kitchen. Witt made a whole batch.”  
  
“I promised Path to stay in the next room. Don’t think he’ll need it, but it’s a promise.”  
  
“Guess you’ll have to starve until they are done then.” She took in another mouthful of noodles.  
  
“Can’t ya get me a plate?” She put her fists on her hips.  
  
“After I ate mine.”  
  
“C’mon! Are ya really gonna make me watch ya eat?”  
  
“No, I can leave.” With that Wraith turned around and started walking.  
  
“Blasey, just give me a bloody bite, dammit!”


End file.
